i really messed up this time. oh well, i always do just when i think things are getting better. i cut, after 6 months of not i thought. id stopped but i dunno i had a new blade, and slipped up. im pissed at myself now, though. stupid me! well, that me, everything im made of stupidity. i dont know i was worse than most days today. jon kept on trying to cheer me up. i know its in good humor. usually i can deal with him, but i just wanted to be left alone. then i goofed up and his gonna be dissapointed in me like everyone else. i hate that, its my own fault, though. too bad but tomorrow ill have to hear about it.