But I don't have much to write.

I'm frustrated with Will.. It's all over money. I'm just tired of feeling like the only one worried about what we're going to do and how we're going to make it. His constant money spending is not working and he blames it on me. Says he figures I should know how much is in HIS account, so when I want to buy something, he assumes that I know how much is there. And he continues to spend money, knowing we have none, because he EXPECTS me to ask my family to borrow money when he could just stop fucking spending so much. It's stressful.

He has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me working, especially now that I'm pregnant. We wont be able to live like that. So he doesn't want me to work yet he relies on me to ask my family for help? How does that make him look? Like a man who can't take care of his responsibilities. Ugh.

I want to get back into school but I'll, more than likely, have to take courses online. No biggie, except for the fact that neither of us have a computer and the apt is not internet ready yet. So I'm trying to figure out what I can do to help that wont hinder him too much.. I mean, shit, he doesn't even have to know. But obviously he's not stressing about shit like I am, so I have to do something about this situation. I've constantly filled out applications to various places who claim to be hiring and have not heard anything yet. I have one that I've gotto finish in store, and I would actually really like to get that job. I feel like I'm 18 again, fresh out of high school and trying to find any damn place to hire me. That's horrible. But when I was 18, I had a job waiting for me. I just don't know. I don't want to take out any school loans and I'd rather not ask my family for help, but he isn't taking control like he should.

I'm going to go clean now.