my guy MCF has inspired me to write... not write about an event in my life... but to write MY LIFE in general!!! write about who I truely am on tha inside... n i never wooda thought it.. but me n mario are alike in ALOT of ways... we have the SAME views and same opinions on peoples characteristics and peoples points of view and let me warn you... some of these deep intellectual thoughts may cause damage to your brain, and may cause you to have a VERY different view of the real Steven Knight Widowski... n u kno wat... i really dont giv a fuck... cuz im cummin out of the closet.. n god dammit.. im GAY ALRIGHT!! SIIIIIKKKKEEEEE!!!!!!! LMMFAO!!! bitches please im fuckin with ur head... but naw now its on the real... i really am comin out of the closet for who i truely am... n now u were warned... so the rest of this journey thru my little head is up to ur own decision and risk wether or not you are capable to obtain and collect the undeniably outstanding knowledge that i have to offer... so if you THINK your brain and stomach can handle the following... then continue reading... my name is steven... n i put up a front all the time that i am sum kind of stupid illiterate ignorant punk that doesnt care about shyt, and doesnt even know his ABC's... well ur wrong to the fullest extent.. because i am myself... a very strong minded individual with more brain power than u would ever know by just glancing at me n seeing my funny ass stupid smile that i wear all the time... just like mario.. i am more than deep... i am more than complex... and i am more than intellegent... and i have more courage and strength than any of the challenges that you have EVER came across or faced.. for you to just see the inner lining of who i truely am.. could completely blow you away in aww as if u were to never even acknowledge the simple fact that i am a very deep individual who takes time in EVEYTHING he does to make sure that it comes out in perfection... i see things in a sort of higher intellegent way... and i see life in a more real and understanding way then all of u reading this combined... half of you reading this already have ur mouth wide open in shock saying "wtf... steven couldn;t have wrote this" well guess what.. steven IS writing this!! and hes going to tell you what he thinks life is all about... life to me is a game... and thats how i treat it... to try n pass to the next level.. to try and beat tha boss that is in your way... to try to find all of the secrets... and play that game to the fullest without missing a SINGLE bonus point or extra hidden surprise... to go thru the game and make as many golden... incredible and zoned out experiences that you can.. and thats wat its ALL about... to me.. all i want out of life is for at least ONE person to look back at my death 10 years later and say "yea... and once upon a time.. there was this guy named steve..." i want to be a story... i want to MAKE a story.. i want to tell every1 wat ive accomplished and been thru... let me give u an outlook and inside scoop of my life.... i was born into a fucked up disfunctional family with a crackhead for a mom.. and an abusive bitch ass dad who cares for no1 but himself... ive lived and grown up protecting my brother and my mother from this bastard for a dad.... ive been a mouse fighting lions tigers and bears for as long as i can remember.... ive been standing up to xtreme and impossible tasks... to only come out at the bottom and lose all hope... and yet.. i regain the hope.. and make a comeback.. as if it was a movie.... ive been expelled from 2 skools and go to a skool full of crackheads and drugdealers and people who brought guns to skool... and yet.. im about to have my seed get let out into this world... i am goin to have to make it with a child... in an already fucked up situation... my dad is 24/7 fucked up on vicodin and oxycotton.... so i am forced to take those pills and sell them so he wont go crazy... and so i can get money to provide for MY OWN FAMILY!!! i actually had to pay my own houses rent last march because my parents couldnt afford it... therefor i am single handedly supporting my own family.. all at the same time.. trying to get ready to support a family that i WILL have in 9 more months... and im only 15 years old.... and if u cant respect and see the outstanding performance that i have acheived... than u CANNOT be my friend... wen i look in the mirror... i see a young man who acts funny just for attention.. n its the god honest truth that half the shyt i do.. i actually DO think about it... and i WANT to look stupid and pitiful... but in the end... the only reason i do it... is so i can give all of you guys storys to pass on to ur frends and your kids.... just like andrea and kara and felicia will always laugh at the time wen me n mario tried to steal the goodwill parking sign... just like how mario barry will remember wen we got caught up with 4 or 5 hookers taht we met on the internet!!! just like how my future wife crystal will laugh the time wen i got caught in her house n we hadda jump out the 2-story window butt ass naked!! the story of my life is a great one... and i am happy to say that so far.. i AM making it.. AND ON MY MOTHER FUCKING LIFE.. AND ON MY KIDS LIFE I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL MAKE IT THRU THESE TIMES AND BECOME SUCCESSFUL AND PROVIDE FOR MY KID IN THE END... if i can do that... and make my son or daughter happy... than i could die in peace... but if i cant.. then i will DIE trying... all i want out of life... is to see my seeds face light up in enjoyment and wonder... looking out of the backseat of the window as im going 50 miles per hour, driving down the road to go to disney land.... all i want is for my kid to grow up and know that his father cared... and that he would have done WATEVER was nessecary for them to survive... all i want is to hear my baby say the words "i love you daddy" and u can shoot me square in the head.. right there at that very moment... and ON GOD id be happy... and most of all.. i want to be looked back on as a role model... a person that people look up to.. and people try to compare themselves to... i want to be a legend to people around me.... and a myth to people across the globe... i am DETERMINED to get my voice heard at any extent... even if it means me loosing everything... life is about looking back at ur life and saying "...yea... i done that" or "i remember this one time...." and so far.. i have PLENTY of those!! so many i cant even begin to name them!!! ive been put in countless bad situations... and millions of times where i had know idea wat to do... but wat did i do?!?! i did wat i thought was right... and thats all that mattered to me... and look where i am now?!?! ur probably like "yea look at u... u fuckin loser, ur a fool and now your about to have a kid!! you arent gonna make it!!" well all i gotta say to u is FUCK YOU and SUCK MY DICK cuz ive never been so happy in my life... wen i heard the knews about my kid... my face never lit up so brightly... there are times in life where no1 can stop u... wen no1 can take you away.. .and u.. at that very moment in time... u are invincible... and u cannot be controled... those are the TRUE golden moments in life..... the moments that are worth looking back on... those to me are the actual 'golden moments'... like i remember a time.... when i was at rec... i was in this rap battle with BUTTER FROM HAMILTON!!! yes thats right... BUTTER... the best freestylist at that skool... and i put it on my momma i BEAT him 3 ROUNDS IN A ROW!! u may not believe me... but it is true!! and to this day... kids look at me n say "YOU beat butter!??!" n it kills me to say "no... no i didnt" becuz i cant stand the pressure of the people wen they want me to PROVE sumthing to them... n it happens so much that i never even mention taht time... but i swear to god i member it like it was yesterday.... i was in a zone that cannot be described... a moment of purity... a moment of power and strength that i cannot even begin to explain to this very day!!! n wat made it so spectacular... was the fact that NOBODYU THOUGHT I COULD BEAT HIM... but on my LIFE i did... and wat makes me uncontrolably mad... is the fact that he denys it... but wen i looked due in the eyes n asked him "did u really beat me?" he looked down to the floor and turned around... and after he did that.. i turned around n didnt need to hear another word.. cuz i KNEW wat he was doing... he was trying to look good to his frends... n me being the bigger man... i let him keep his fake glory... n that to me was the point where i matured... but u dont know how great it makes me feel wen ppl come up to me that actually seen me beat him with his own eyes... like jose perez (the big one) and angel quinonez... and haneen... and even jordan and jason... and wat makes it all worth it.. is that they have an unbelieveable respect for me as a person.. to knowq that i had the balls to do that... could have got ripped inside and out.. but i DIDNT... n i remmeber wen angel said to sum1 "stevies our neighborhood legend.." and after that... i felt a sense of being complete... just to know that to one person... i am a legend to them... is all i need... thats wat makes ife worth living to me... to find those chellenges... and tackling them with such a strong force... that people will remember it 30 years from now... im srry if u guys think differently of me... or think that i lied to you.. well sorry but its time i told you guys the truth... and if u dont like it... then thats on you... that right there to ME is just the PEAK of my thoughts.. n i can write several pages of things i think about while im laying in bed at night... looking out the window, watching the leaves sway back and forth... wondering "why?"... if only you guys knew... Sincerely, -steven k. widowski 2 b continued....