I know i'm not scared of commitment, because i've wanted this for so long, and i'm happier then i have been in a long time... but sometimes i get this feeling, it's a familiar feeling... i'm just used to getting hurt repiatedly [fuck spelling]... I trust him that's for sure, and I know I would cheat on him before he ever would [of course i never will, i HATE cheaters].. but just the thought of him hurting me is unbareable.. I had a dream that i saw him kissing another girl infront of me and the feeling, even though it was a dream, was so painful.. i woke up crying. i just remember him runing after me and seeing everything go in slow motion with tears running down my cheeks like a thunderstorm on a mid november afternoon.... I think too much of the bad instead of the good... he's coming in a month... my god I can't wait.. I look at the calendar every morning putting an "x" on each day that goes by... I think i might faint when my lips meet his for the first time in 2 months again... his kiss is so soft and gentle, and i can feel how much he cares for me when he kisses me...heh, i'm such a girl, if he ever read this, he would make fun of me haha.