I was remembering back a year ago.. he was such a different person...
I remember his graduation night when we were sitting outside, one beer in hand... we sat on those steps, his face was blurry, music and sounds of people talking played in the background... he talked about the woman he wanted but couldn't find...
He left that summer, as did I... he wrote me twice.. I never wrote back... he came back, called me... we talked for 8 months without seeing eachother.. 4, 5, 6 hours sometimes... all those conversations, all that time spent.. he talked about other women, I talked about other men.. not knowing that he had a "thing" for me.. all those conversations about other girls, and the hole time he just wanted me...
I remember the day he called, I answered... he didn't sound like the other days.. the tone in his voice, the way he stuttered, I could hear him swallow hard before he said the words that came to shock... "I like you".. there was a silence, I uttered a sound.. no words... he said "tell me NOW how it's going to be... if you say yes then we'll go from there, if you say no then we will forget all about this and never talk about it again"... my words were simply.. "i don't know".. he took it as a no... we hung up. I think I sat in that same spot for about 2 hours thinking about what had just happened, those words being repeated over and over in my head... that was a sleepless night.. how could I have not noticed it?.. I asked myself over and over "why?!"... he discribed the girl he wanted in every detail, I never thought he was talking about me..
That day finally came... I had spent the ngiht at a friends house.. we both woke up early, had some doughnuts.. I was nervous.. she made my hair and my makeup... he called and I gave him directions... I sat in the living room.. my heart raced 100 beats/sec...
I saw his car drive up.. I ran out the door, he stepped out of the car, he looked older, he wasn't the kid I knew a year ago... I ran to him and jumped onto his arms, he wasn't expecting that... I wrapped my legs around him, I felt like a little kid... his arms around my waiste, they gripped harder.. I felt a feeling of releif.. like I had something back from my old life... I whispered "I missed you"... he put me down, I was happy.. he was like a little shy 2 year old.. I tried looking at him in the eyes but he would look back, it was cute...
we hopped in the car I looked at him driving, how much he had changed.. although his face expressions were still the same.
we went to Bree's house.. I put my feet in the pool while they played chess.. I would look back every so often and catch him starring, I'd smile, he'd blush... we sat on the couch, we were in our own world, I played with his hair, he fell asleep on my lap... in the bacground people making plans for the party that night...
We got there, he held me close, the music was loud, there were stacks and stacks or beer boxes in the kitchen, the guys following the girls into the bathroom.. he got me a beer, we squeezed together on a lawn chair.. the stars were so bright that night.. he hugged me, I felt it.. I finally felt what he had felt for me months ago...
The cops came, we ran to a room, locked ourselves in... he was drunk/tired... I layed ontop of him... he hugged me, his hands went up and down my back, I could hear him breathing harder and his heart pounding through his chest... I played with his hair, we both fell asleep...
All those months of carring for someone, wanting to hug and kiss came down to this day... he gripped his hands around my head, pulled me close and kissed me... I felt the passion, how much he cared, how much he had waited for this...
...and I felt the same.
wow, i loved reading that..it was so cute. you need to write more! hit me back, you seem cool
erin
[Anonymous]
That's beautiful! I loved reading that and hope that it works out very very well for you.
As for what you said, I have tried to let her know very much how I feel, but she has been very stressed from work. But I think you're right, is just so hard to be nasty to her!
Carry on writing :)
[Anonymous]
i really like your diary. it's pretty cool and the things you've written about seen so heartfelt. I added you to my friends list so I could come back and read. Hehe. Bye.
...and I felt the same.
erin
As for what you said, I have tried to let her know very much how I feel, but she has been very stressed from work. But I think you're right, is just so hard to be nasty to her!
Carry on writing :)