I want to feel prettier. I always feel like the "cute" girl. I don't want to be just cute, I want to feel like people notice me. I know, it's really superficial but I'm being honest. I feel like maybe if I went tanning more [no one likes a pale japanese girl lol], or if my hair would grow faster so I can cut it the way I want it, or if I could go get my lip waxed again SOON, or lose 6 pounds, or grow an extra inch, or buy better clothes, or my boobs will ever decide to stop being an A cup in this lifetime. I guess I'll always just be the "cute" one. A little better looking than average, but never the most attractive in the room. I guess it doesn't matter, I should focus more on my personality [which also needs a ton of work]. I want to be a better girlfriend to Tristan. I'm so negative all the time. I nag, when I'm mad I say things that I don't mean, I talk behind his back to his friends, I'm always making fun of him, I'm selfish, I'm always looking for what I can get out of the relationship... I'm horrible to him. I really do need to try harder to make him happy and put his feelings before mine. Right now I don't deserve him, and I want to make sure that he's getting what he deserves. So I'll try to be what he needs.