chariot

i duno whhy i still write in this but i love lookin back and just reading it so im 16 and i still write in his wow! but my sister died she wasnt my blood sister but we were soo close like sisters one day things just changed and she totally dumped our friendship she started hangin out wit my ex boyfriend and totally forgot about me she acted like everythin we had had never happened even tho it was like my friend died i will always love the girl who i went on one million vacations wit its like a whole different side of me is missing i miss her and i loved her i cry alot and i am now but all i can say is i hope i can heal from this and everything happenes for a reason

i duno whhy i still write in this but i love lookin back and just reading it so im 16 and i still write in his wow! but my sister died she wasnt my blood sister but we were soo close like sisters one day things just changed and she totally dumped our friendship she started hangin out wit my ex boyfriend and totally forgot about me she acted like everythin we had had never happened even tho it was like my friend died i will always love the girl who i went on one million vacations wit its like a whole different side of me is missing i miss her and i loved her i cry alot and i am now but all i can say is i hope i can heal from this and everything happenes for a reason

well in llike 5 hours ill be in miami =]] wit my cousin for thanksgiving for hopefully that would be fun... this weekend was amazing friday-enegry till 4 am wit blair and grace saturday- MISSION my favorite club to kelly and gord till 6 am=]

ok so i havent wrote in a WHILe summer 05 was pretty much the best time of my life.. lord i just cant believe how much fun i had.. its just honestly sick and cancun things are soo different me and my best friend who i thought was honestly my blood sister dont even hang or anythin i cry alot but there nothin i can do i feel im just there like im not livin the life the days just dragg on and school is soo fuckin hard AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH everythin sucks there are no boys really and the weekends have beeen horrible lately.. jon chun and them now hang wit allie n that crew so its werid.. honestly im soo calm noww but i deicded i need to quick cigs TOTALLY and weed slowy and just drink.. cuz wen i smoke i just fee like soo calm and go to bed so all my problems go away=/ eh nothin amazin noww ewww things to look foward too i guess zero on thursday night( with my luck iy will suck) miami in twoo weeks and winter break DURRRRRRRRRRRRR ♥

i honestly have to get over caitlin she makes me cry at nights and its only hurting me.. i need it to be finally over god please let me forgetabout her i wish i neveer begun wit her

last night was horrible felt so werid at wendys left to gordons came home and cryed myself to sleep im sooo sick so sick i need to stop smokin like im gonna die if i do......

this weekend was friday- stayed home sick=] saturday- went to sams.. all the seniors were there haha Blair was all drunk n dancing like naked and shiet it was sooo funny.. i coudlnt breathe cuz i love her.. then kat and grace came over.. then we went to wendys.. DUH hah ew hung out with everyone i met this kid kenny hes a freshman in college and he knew cody.. it was werid.. i was talkin to cody and he remindded me soo much of summer<3.. then we all hung at sams and i went home really late and slept.. sunday- went shoppin with my mom.. then picked up tova and went to sams wit tova kat and sam.. we just chilled there n like always alot of people were there.. but then kat was suppose have plans wit sean n them but things got messed up.. joe left wit gordon and we were like stuck.. so i wanted to go to deryks.. and i was gonna drive=] and tova was crying because she didnt want me like driving it was funny.. than pat drove us to deryks and we were in this RV thing smokin weed and drinking wit kayla sweta jeremy scott deryk me tova sam n jamie.. than we went to wendys and sam haha wow i was drunk and did stupid shiett ehh ¢¾ i honestly hate BG soo fuckin much

sick on a friday? wtf? i know im sad very. nothin is good. i goin out 2mrrow hopefully no one has too much fun ♥ i need to get wasted to bad

not like im werid just ibe been callin caitlin.. she hasnt been online and i havent seen her in 2 day hhahah funny WHERE IS MY BUD thiz week there alot of tests and preesure but 2day i took a day off i went out to eat, then worked out for 2 hrs and just shower. DIDNT even open a book=] i love it i still have to see what i am wearing 2mrrow ahh

ok so today was school.. which i fuckin hate.. i feel soo gross and sick wen im in schoool.ew i dont know how im gonna make it threw i fuckin hate shs sooo much.. this week i have like 8 test=[ im gonna die? kill me please? but overall everything suxz BUT but my parents are thinkin of moiving in to city.. like downtwon chicago like right on michgan in a huggee pent house with the bell man and everythin and id bein goin to a prep school which is my dream.. the kids there are soooooo different they go to bars and clubs and know how to party im soo happie i hope eveythin works out and we move=]] life is gonna be amazin there=]] yes! but i saw blake 2day things are soo like werid wit us..smtimes i really like him and sumtimes i dont ahh=[ and caitlin lied to me=[ whoreface i am really mad

saturday was amazin.. first off went to wild fire wit caitiln then deryks haha then i was like all depressed because summer was soo gay n me and caitlin walked to wendys. then met jon chun lucky and all of them there..at went to thiz kid georges party.. then left for a lil blastin MY HUMPS and outta control wit jon and lucky then went off wit thiz kid devon lucky steph marrisa to smoke weed<3 and then drove around wit them all night blastin music smokin.. ow wit was just soooo fun and i really needed that<3 fuckin school wow i cant like take it.. i have no time for anythin! anythin so much fuckin work i fuckin like live for weekends i always hang wit caitlin now.. like 24.7 everythin is good wit us i relized she is my best friend like no just sayin BFF but i definetly consider her my BEST friend wow we have soo much fun OUTTA CONTROL well school suxz and im gonna work out=]]]

i fuckin hate buffaloe grove so fuckin much so ookay last night i was suppose to go to the shack with everyone but jarrid fuckin puzzes wouldnt fit us in.. then me and caitlin went to derryks YES funniest thing alive and chilled there.. i feel alseep why there were like talkin and deryk kept talkin pictures of me=]funny. BUt then i drank alot and went home drunk and feel asleep. life suxz i fuckin hate buffalo grove soo much like i cry about it soo much i dont understand how to deal wit it... um schoool fuckin work is soo hard i wanna like kil myself shs suxz boys sux 1. had a convo lat night made me feel whoreish 2. blake didnt call me ..hes a dumb ass no time for anything.. shoot me/?

excited for shack this friday haha....... uh life kinda suxz now cuz of school but like 3 months til winter break=]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

i llove drinkin in cancun cuz in the diso i was alway at the bars.. and like i hate it here because i just dont wanna goto sumones house n get drunk=] gah fuck i miss it soo bad and i dont think caitlin could go back

i just hope everythin will get back to normal.. like i pray and dream.. ok so first last night was really gay sams than CP .. so i jsut like fuck it i feel way too old here and me and lexi sat at starbuvks♥ pretending it was the lobby in the bahahas wit this random kid who wishes his name was stan?????? OK so the caitlin thing.. shes my best friend like in the summer i couldnt belueve how close... we are and she was soo cool like fun and AHH now she fuckin changed soo much cuz of her friends and i told her... she sed she'll go back becasue if she doesnt GAH!! ill kill her lol ANd the whole JT thing.. well he doesnt like me but i dont like him either soo =]

ok ill sum it up jt and his friends hateme cuz im not goin to homecomin wit him... me and caitlin are figthing so confused tried bad grades duno waht to wear hate gym FUCK

so school is gettin better ALOT of homework eww ive been seeing pat alot lately=] every where i go.. itz pretty funny worked out 2day now doin homework i knoe im cool bg days this weekend wit the girls then saturday night hanging wit dmirty goin to ihop at 3 in the morning wit caitlin.. i have soo many mixed feeling for guys now. its soo werid.. 6308 party naked only please aka mrs yayo+ get laid in the lobby= forever no will break it♥

i feel soo gross i havent worked out in like 2 weeks and durin the summer i worked out like twice a day.. ew gross.. I JUST WANNA SLEEP ALLL DAY

shs is soo treing UH i cant do it every day PLUS I MISS CANCUN LIKE CRAZY ♥