I hate it when im angry and the skin on my back begins to crawl and wont stop. makes me even madder. those fuckin "advice journals" are fuckin retarded. in my opinoin anyway. i also hate those fuckin dumbfucks who comment retarded shit in journal. like anyone really fuckin cares. i am soo fucking pissedOFF!!! AAAAHHHHH!!! its all Andrew's fault. he always pisses me off because he gets in a pissy mood when i do the slightest thing that he doesnt like. he should know me by now. i do things w/o thinking, thats pretty much how i run my life. i do what i feel. and hes such a dick about it. like if i look at him for too long. i love every inch of him, i cant help it if i get stuck staring at him, and then he gets pissed off at me b/c he doesnt like it when i stare. or if i say something he doesnt like or that he thinks sounds stupid. and he says he loves, excuse me "likes" everything about me. thats a load of bullshit. i only have 1 problem w/ him; his moodiness. but i accept it for who he is and i usually get upset by it but he was just-- i feel like shit now. i cant stop crying. how often does that happen anymore? hardly ever, even though i quit taking my meds again, but its showing. im failing all my classes and feel so retarded and worthless and so...constantly uncomfortable. right now i want to tear my skin off. i have such a bad headache. and what sucks even more about today (is a couple of things), is that i had such an awesome night last night. i was so inlove w/ him and then earlier this afternoon i didnt want to take my eyes off him, as well as my hands. but he just kept pushing me away all day today. it really makes you feel like shit when you love someone with almost your entire being and they just keep ignoring, pushing you away from them and looking at you like your just so stupid after every small thing you say; but then keeps on telling you that they love you and keeps on giving you those looks from across they table and shit like that. i just dont know about him anymore. i do love him with every fiber in my body and i would do anything for him, but- just the way he acts and treats me sometimes...i dont know. he doesnt say things flat out, he makes small hints and gestures reguarding what hes thinking. AND I WANT MY BABY BACK! its killing me..