wow. fuck. im feel problematic and like im going to lose another set of friends. what the fuck good is an aquaintance for. people need friends. i do a lot of things every day. i try to make shit count, but my days dont count. i dont do anything great anymore. i might make my sis, nima, and mo my full time crew and decide that i dont need any more friends in high school. what am i trying to prove. shoot. it bothers me when i have to make so much effort. i feel like i should stay home, not call anyone, and not IM anyone anymore. shit. fuck making everyone happy. i am a bitter teenager. its part of life. bitching wont get anywhere. i probably should stop making the effort to keep in touch and make plans. i dont need people. i can be shallow too. fuck, if it werent for my friends wasting all my time i'd probably have my car restored and id be at the gym a lot more. sounds like a healthier lifestyle to me. well, i guess since my dad is walking circles around me i should go to my room so he can stop pacing. fuck, i pace too. what a lovely trait i picked up from him. outlook:negative.