hmmmmmmmmmmm so. i guess my summer is pretty much over. yah. like "band" camp for 2 weeks in like 3 days. and that fucking sucks ass. but yah whatever. ummmm... idk what ive been up to.. not seeing the ppl i wanna see. thats for sure. i wanna have a bonfire this sunday ish i think but im not a good plannerrrrr...i just go... so lets see...yesterday...mike came over..watched movies...then he left..then he came back and we went driving..then we were like walking on the streets at night for like no reason and then i had to have gum and go pee cuz idk lol and thats what we walked to do. almost got raped in a dark alley...well..not almost lol but it was scary. then to bryants house but didnt get to see him cuz he didnt like pick up his fone. then to downtown disney. then we came back here and watched the butterfly effect at like...12...then he left..and i was like in one of my moods for no reason lol. like usual. so yesterday was pretty much a nothing day. yah. and today im supposed to be going to this get together thing at 2 but like..its 1:03 and i still have shit to do around the house and i have no ride. so umm..yah i prollie shuldnt be sitting here doing this right now lol. and i just woke up so i have to go shower and get ready. ahh..whatever. guess im out. love

so0o0o... i guess this past week has been. interesting. i guess ive seen ali a lot. i didnt realize it until like it was mentioned to me. and yah. i like hangin out a lot lol. i dont like how i get quiet for no reason sometimes tho. idk what to do to fix it so i guess i cant. so the other night alyssa and i just went places with ali. then the next day alyssa and i met bryant and chris at the mall. chris was being a dick. oh well lol. i never do what i want. and then im like..god why dont u just do something. idk what i mean by something. but a lot of times i want to do things and i dont let myself and i hate it. so then the other night larry alyssa ali seth mike joey and i went to the movies and we saw that one movie..umm..dukes of hazzard, it was funny and lame at the same time. idk if i wrote about ne of this yet lol. then today ali picked me up and we went and got larry and we went and did whatever. and we went to the block. and we took pictures in the photobooth. and it was fun. and like...we spent all their money...lol idk i felt bad cuz i didnt even know we were like going anywhere so i didnt bring money... i feel like i shuld pay them back... if i can get money from my parents then i will...cuz i dont have shit lol but yah...idk what i want. and im like tired a little. and like yea lol im off to bed soon cuz i have my first day of driving classes tomorrow yay! and i better god damn well go cuz i keep missing it for stupid reasons. i felt so stupid calling this morning. im like hi can i start tomorrow becuz i cant make it today. "why cant u make it?" i dont have a ride. lol wth...so ironic. well atleast they know i really do need my license haha. bitches. :) so yah...i dont know whos going and i dont wanna be alone i dont do well alone and idk..it depends on what kind of mood im in like whether or not ill make friends.. cuz sumtimes i just get quiet and idk. antisocial takes over lol. motherfuckers. alright. im out like a fat kid playing dodgeball :] i stole that :D love.

so..im in a pretty good mood right now...and thats good lol. maybe this wont be such a bitchy entry! yayy!! so like i went to sleep at 5 and then got up at 530. then i was up for a while...lept for like 2 hours nd got up... alyssa came over. then we just did whatever and stuff lol then ali came over and then we left with him i was like super happy to see him im always happy to see him i was just more happy this tiem cuz i havent seen him in like a week and it just seemed like..."on the rocks" lol yeah. so we went to see like a million ppl. went to del taco. saw aggie at work. was tight. culd have beeen a bit more exciting but atleast i got to see him. so then we got here and me and alyssa had mike come over and we all watched laguna beach which is like my favorite show now i forgot to leave my door open with mike in my room and then like...my mom was mad. and then alyssa was outside crying becuz her bf is a jakass so like we went out there to like comfort her i guess and i forgot im not supposed to be in the front yard at night anymore becuz of previous events... so then..my mom fucking comes outside when we're like laying on mike which is one of the most awkward things i think ive experienced in a while lol. then i got fucking yelled at forever and she almost made alyssa leave. i swear, sumtimes i think my mom is a teenager still. shes so weird. she blows everything way out of proportion. oh well lol. so alyssa stayed and we're just chillen and stuff. lol. watching movies cuz we're kool like that. and i culdnt find any bowls so we used these casserole type dishes for ice cream at like 2 in the morning like fattys :) it was great lol so we have practice tomorrow 2-5. freshman dont even have to go. lucky bitches. lol. so i guess im gonna go cuz i gotta be up in like...less than 3 hours...rawr haha love

so im pretty much like obsessed with sitdiary lol yes i think i am so like my entries are like complainy and thinky and stuff. that says a lot about me right there. so like im bored right now...and i wanna go somewhere... i miss doing what i used to do everyday and everynight. i miss having robert and travis call me and be like hey wanna go somewhere? and then even if i didnt wanna go i wuld go anyways and then end up having like the bestest time ever. i miss doing pointless shit...buying ppl stuff..then them buying me stuff becuz i bought them stuff...and i miss stopping for fast food at 2:00 in the morning. i miss just fucking around and never having plans. i miss drifting. i miss driving around aimlessly. i miss having no purpose-in a good way.i miss getting random fone calls at 3 in the morning where they just meow and make annoying sounds until i laugh. i miss the fone calls where theyd talk to me. i miss the times when he wuld just show up randomly at 12 at night and wed just sit outside and talk..even tho my neighbors prollie think im crazie lol i also miss ali. becuz i havent seen him since sunday and i dont know whats going on with him. i cant really seem to figure out why he hasnt been talking to me. he swears that he has not received my IMS or sumthing. i think thats a lie. and u know...it sucks. cuz like..arg idk. i hate when theres sumthing wrong. and idk i care about him a lot and i wuldnt wanna lose a friendship or grow further apart. oops. i turned it into another sad/thinky entry like all the rest lol. o well. living in memories is good and bad. its good when you remember good times becuz...well..you had them. but its also bad becuz it makes u feel bad about whats happening at the time. sacrafices must be made i suppose. i still need to go skool shopping gosh. i love skool shopping but i hate the first day of school. i hate wondering who will be in my classes and which class will present my new least favorite teacher. however, i do like skool becuz i get to see everyone. this year i will have absolutely nothing to look forward to at skool. atleast at valencia i culd see ppl i know nd love. but noo...now i will be a loner until i go talk to random ppl. which will make me look weird. but i guess id look weirder alone. lol i need to start getting more sleep cuz i fall asleep in the middle of the day. and my mom has started to notice that while i sit i cant keep my eyes open and i liek drift off..im thinking she might take my fone or the computer cuz she knows thats whats keeping me up..shit lol hmmmmmm...bye

hmmmm so yesterday i got up at like..5:45 ishhh and then like went to antonellas house. fell asleep on her couch for a few hours liek a bum lol. but i only had like an hour and a half of sleep the night before so there. umm..we went to the mall. it was fun. saw tons of cute stuff. did sumthing against morals but hey whatever. umm...then we saw crystal lauren yeri and mike at american eagle so we like hung out with them for a while. that was fun... um..then me and ant just went and bought some stuff...um..there were actually a lot of hot guys at the mall and they werent with girls. it was weird lol. then we went back to ants and rented movies..santina and chelsea watched em with us..i picked the most stupidest fucking movie ever and i ended up making them change it lol. then santina cried while watching the other one. it was funnyyy.. uhmmm yeaa...then just cleaned and stuff. today got up early...went to the old house to finish off the remaining bullshit...its finally finished and i just feel like burning it down now becuz the assholes that bought it..well..theyre assholes lol. i need to get out of here. for like ever. thats one reason why i cant really wait for skoooll...but...i dont wanna go to esperanza. fucking ppl that wont let me transfer...ill burn down their houses too. and ill burn down esperanza lol. jk but grr hopefully mr cline nd mr bell nd whoever i have to talk to on the 15th is all nice and like understanding. too much of my life is at that beaner skool lol. err...bye :)

i fucking dont want a social life anymore. i wish i had friends who understood the way i feel. and that the ones who do understand wuld fucking care. and i wish i always understood everyone. and that they knew that i try my best to understand and that they get that i dont always know the right words to say, but ill always be there for them.. and i wish my friends always knew the right words to say. and i wish i wasnt compelled to read everyone else's myspace comments and feel insanely fucking jealous. and i wish that i didnt get jealous over everything...or atleast that ppl would realize that what they do tears me apart. and i wish that when i tell ppl how i feel, that instead of saying they care and then doing nothing to help, that theyll actually try to make a change in whats happening. and i also wish that more people could just be more straightforward and not leave me wondering whats going on half the time. i dont want them to be assholes about it...but id rather be hurt by the truth than happy with lies...becuz once i figure out the truth, my life goes to shit becuz i realize how stupid i was to believe such a lie. i wish that i was more satisfied with the way things went in my life, or that it didnt really make a difference to me, because then i wouldnt be sitting here typing this and thinking how much i hate how everything in my life turns out. and how much i hate myself. so many changes i would make. i dont think thats how life should be lived. if you think about it, our lives are pointless...humans have created a purpose for themselves. their purpose is to learn from their mistakes, fall in love, get a career, work your ass off for barely any pay off and then die. if thats all we're really living for then fuck, why give a shit? might as well go out and fuck around and fuck up. sure, everyone wants to be successful in life, and that wuld be great, but what is success worth if youre not living the way you want. if you can say that you have the most high paying job of them all, it doesnt matter if youre not having fun and getting what you want out of life. and i dont know where im going with this...i started out writing becuz of jealousy..and now im talking about life... .

well... he culd have almost anyone and im pretty sure he knows that. i get jealous easily. he flirts with everyone. enough said on that. i guess im just afraid one day he'll realize how unattractive i am..or he already has. and then he'll realize how much he likes some other girl. and yah..im not even going out with him...but still. its still losing someone to me. i get paranoid. oh well. mike disappointed me a lot today. when youre making plans..if u dont wanna go then say so. no one is going to hate you becuz u dont wanna do sumthing..or atleast, i wont. and u know..im just not going to invite him places any more. im done chasing him around and like forcing him to make plans. he obviously has better things to do.ill just make plans with people who can stick to their word. i mean..atleast call someone and tell them you cant go or youre not interested...dont leave 3 people hanging..wondering..wasting their time. because now, none of us got to do what we wanted because of one guy whos only worried about himself and making the best of his own time. enough of that... i hate having friends who seem to throw u around...i mean i dont have too many of those..becuz in like 8th grade i learned how to not be thrown around.or so i thot. but theres still some people who i wuld do anything for and that results on me becoming a fucking doormat for them to wipe their feet on. like...theres people who i will always ALWAYS be there for..and then they realize that becuz i always am..and then they say "i want to be there for you"..well then show that you mean it. and if you dont mean it..then dont waste your time saying it. its not worth lying. i dont need lies. and i hate how sometimes those people pick and choose when you will hang out...when they want to hang out with you..when theyll call you or pick up the fone when u call them..like... its always their decision and if you lose connection during a call they dont even bother calling back becuz "they knew you would call back". how fucked is that. thats stupid. you should be considerate of those close to you. and even the ones who arent close to you. and i guess im one to talk. but im not perfect so sorry. ive turned this sitdiary into a place where i can bitch and complain about all my bullshit. oh well.

sometimes i feel as though one day everyone will just get sick of me. or bored of me. and just decide that theyre done with me and move on. some of the ppl i care about the most culd live without me just fine. im 16 and still havent made out with anyone. idk if u culd possibly imagine how stupid i feel admitting that. even knowing it myself embarasses me...its like letting myself down i guess? or..letting down my selfesteem. and quite frankly, im not sure that my self esteem has ever been too high in the first place. everytime someone tells me that im pretty or that they have feelings for me, i think theyre lying. im basically a failure at this point in my life. i have had one boyfriend, im worth shit on the colorguard even tho i never thot i was that bad, i bring down those around me, and sometimes on purpose becuz it makes me feel better...which is horrible in itself. i dont know what the hell im doing with my life. i have horrible grades most of the time becuz i really just dont give a shit. or thats what i act like...i really do care a lot and i want good grades and stuff and then when i have the opportunity to have good grades im liek eh i dont care and i throw it all away. im basically ignorant on most subjects that actually matter. id be surprised if i culd actually carry on an intelligent conversation. for some reason i have the biggest problem with authority and listening to what people tell me to do. my parents and family think i hate them half the time becuz i guess im either bitchy or independent. the bitchiness is becuz im irritable as fuck around them i guess. the independentness is just how i am. my mom thinks i hate her becuz i dont tell her everything. or anything. she thinks that i go out and do drugs and have sex. how culd i possibly do that? she keeps me under fucking lock and key. the fact that she does that is the reason i am going to be uncontrolable in college. and i guess thats not really a good idea, cuz fucking up in college is like fucking up the rest of your life, but since when have i cared? i fuck up all the time. and i guess thats the attitude thats getting me where i am. no where. and its funny, cuz i realize all of this, yet i continue to go on with my pointless bullshit filled life. i am always thinking and ive figured out that i just confuse myself more. i end up worrying about things that i culdnt change even if i killed myself trying. some stuff that i spend my time worrying about does kill me. the fact that theres some people i culd never have. and i guess thats just cuz im young and ignorant and whatnot..cuz i mean..love at this point in someones life is like..not exactly pointless...but ive heard/seen of ways that it all falls apart instantly and everyone always moves on. but wat if they dont? what if i havent or never do? i dont know...i still dont even have my permit and im 16. i culd have had my license by now for like 2 months. but nooo..i chose to throw away opportunities. im good at that, throwing things away. i just hope that one day when the right things and people come along in my life, that i dont throw them away too.

well...its frikin early i guess...but this is normal for me. its now 3:31. usual. so today was pretty.blah. i didnt do much. i went shopping with my mom and stuff. she bought some stuff for the house and what not. she drives me crazie when she shops. she goes back and forth im like damn just pick something. i put a shitload of music on my ipod. well like 240 songs. thats a shitload compared to what it was before.so i got the song called toast and bananas from blink 182. it has nothing to do with toast and bananas lol. yea. i actually went swimming tonight. for the second time since ive lived here. nice. bryant kept me company. sort of. haha. gosh ppl can never be there can they? so why do ppl wait until they dont know what theyre saying to tell you things? why dont you just tell them. i do the same thing. apperantly i let out a lot of feelings when i dont know what im saying. but yes...idk. i never thought it would hurt so much to have someone yell at you. but i guess i just care about him too much. so many people have asked me why i care about him so much and i really cant answer that question. i really cant. wish i knew the answer, but i guess i dont really need to know why, all i need to know is how much i care. and that is more than anyone could ever know. wow... so off to other things. i guess my new task is to learn to play bass. and to actually learn a song on guitar. i mean i CAN play it. like i would know what im doing because..well duh lol. i have one and took the class. but yeah. dont mess with peoples feelings and use them for things. its mean. lol. yea so dont!...pwease :D so... how do people become so important to me? its like...i meet them and theyre such strangers and then a month later...i dont know whats happened. i like it. yet i hate it. yay so bryant is going to wake me up one of these days. i love when ppl wake me up. its like...starting your day seeing someone you care about a lot is good. except for the fact that i look like shit..but what can u do? i mean i usually look like shit anyways so i might as well look twice as shitty in bed right? right. some good advice is to go with the flow. but what happens when "the flow" takes you the wrong way? what happens when you shouldnt go the way things are taking you? can u stop it? i dont know. but it would be nice to be able to choose your feelings. but then what if u pick the wrong ones? but then again, you could make sure that you dont feel liek shit. wow idk how i come up with this stupid shit. well i guess im off to bed even though im not tired. i slept until 12:38 today. and 1:00 yesterday. i dont like sleeping so late. imma put my alarm for...11:00...yeah thats good. goodnight <3

wow i just wrote a bunch of crap and it erased. that sucks. so i just got off the fone with this guy, and he confuses me so much. SO MUCH, i dont understand whats going on with him ever. one thing i do know is that he makes me very happy. so happy. dude ali is leaving tomorrow! idk what i will do without him for a whole month! ahh! i will miss him more than like u culd ever know! ::tear:: i wanna go walk to his house in about 2 and a half hours but like..i cant. i bet i wuld get in trouble. so...about my days... yesterday i was with my cousins and stuff and i stayed there last night also. yesterday we went and saw the perfect man. if there was such a thing. you know im always wishing people were better to me, but maybe i should be better for them. what a concept. i dont know. i try my best, and apperantly my best isnt that good after all. hmm..monday i had 5 hours of sleep, tuesday i had 2, and wednesday i had 4. thats not much. but i actually slept last night, like 10 hours. it was beautiful. lol. i slept all curled up in the corner haha. you know, for some reason i dont really like sleeping. i mean i do, i enjoy it and all, but i feel as though i miss things while im sleeping. but now that i think about it, sleep can be good in more than one way. i have heard all the ways it can be good for your health but like, also, when im asleep i wont have to feel pain, i wont get myself into trouble, i wont get yelled at, i wont have to deal with drama. maybe i should sleep more often. or maybe i shouldnt. so yeah i woke up and took a shower and stuff. then i ate a slice of pizza. oh, that brings me to another thing. eating. for some reason whenever i eat i either feel really sick like im gonna throw up or i feel like im going to burst. even if i only eat a little. i dont know why. tues and wed together, all i had was a slice of pizza which i ended up feeling sick and throwing up, and a burrito. i dont know. ud think id be skinnier. whatever. so back to that, i woke up. took a shower. ate. then we went to the beach and shopped and what not. while i was there ali called me and i felt horrible because i couldnt hang out with him and i really wanted to. it prollie meant more to me than it did to him. im going to miss him. after the beach, we went back to my cousins', then to my mom's work, then home. it was great lol. sarcasm. ..is it wrong to ask your friends not to do things that you do, or would do, yourself? i mean...the only reason is because you care about them more than you care about yourself. or atleast, i do. i dont know. i wish they understood. its hard to tell people how you feel. rejection is hard. acceptance is hard. life is hard. alright kids..i guesss im gonna go watch tv cuz i dont wanna sleep. (i feel liek roach saying "kids" lol) later

haha...my mood is bootylicious! wo00o0o! lol yea...moving on... ahh idk why i am writing in this thing AGAIN. i wrote liek an hour ago or sumthing. idk. i. dont. understand. people. anymore. but then again...when did i ever? man..i just wish i knew how everyone felt all the time. like, just wats on their mind. i like knowing whats on ppls minds..i guess i just feel like knowing what theyre going through can help me understand their actions and stuff? ahh idk what im saying. people are confusing. i hate when people tell you one thing and other people something else. it makes me wonder who i can trust. once someone has lied to me it makes me question everything they tell me. and yeah...here i go again complaining about things that i also do, but im not much for lying...i dont like getting caught in lies. it sucks. wth...my foot keeps twitching..its bothering me...yah. so anyways. i spend so much of my time trying to get close to people and then once i do..im not sure i can take it? i mean i can, but theres a certain point where i like..mess things up on purpose...yet its unintentional...idk if that makes sense. liek sometimes something will happen and ill like think about what im doing before i do it and im liek this culd fuck things up, oh well. and then i do it. and im not sure why i do that. maybe its cuz i liek taking risks? or maybe cuz im a bitch? or maybe cuz im a troublemaker? or maybe cuz im just stupid like that? i dont know. but whatever it is, i should stop. sometimes i just feel like saying sorry for even talking to people. just for wasting their time, cuz theres better waiting out there for them, and im there just wasting opportunities. infact, id liek to take this opportunity to apologize to all of u for wasting ur time. im complicated. but i know worse. i should like...join the real world someday. aaah now that wuld be entertainment. lol. well i guess im done talking...im sure ill be back for more :D

hmm...so i got to stay at alyssas for the night. that took some talking. luckily i decided not to drink and all went well. i do question some peoples actions though. they say one thing and do another. its interesting. so last night was tight. lol. ofcorse, there was some drama and i was like whoa wth do i do. but yea thats how it always goes right? well not much to say about the night. it was just eventful. in the morning ali and bryant showed up. and seeing as how i got about 2 and a half hours of sleep, i was like so out of it and i like basically slept while they were there. i felt like bad, but dude i was like..yeaah. haha. well..i need to find out what im doing, i mean...like...find out a way where i can like...okay nevermind..i know what im trying to say. so alyssas brothers were drinking and then like since one was in the army or whatever he put on his helmet and vest it was hilarious. he was drunk obviously. i saluted him lol. yes i found that quite amusing. well i didnt get to go to warped tour. that sucks. since i was on my fone all night last night until like 4 something, it completely died today at like 1 in the afternoon. that sucked. it wuldnt even turn on. so i was supposed to stay the night at alyssas again but my parents thot i just didnt wanna talk to them and thats why i wasnt picking up my fone. so therefore they came and got me. i swear i just wish they would let me grow up. like..i guess both of my parents didnt have very good lives when they were growing up..like my dad got into drugs and what not and my mom was like abandoned. i guess they just dont want me going through that but i guess they have to realize that i make a lot of mistakes, and im going to keep on making them. and that sometimes its good to make those mistakes because you learn from them, or atleast id like to think you do. so idk what my friends are all about right now...that goes for the majority of them. and ali thinks im being distant? i believe i thought he wasbeing distant. i need to talk to him. i dont know about what...but yeah...idk...i miss talking to him and being close and what not.

dude this is fucking retarded. so alyssas party is tonight. i decided i wasnt gonna drink becuz i knew somehow i wuld get caught or something. so then my parents find out that there will be drinking there and then my dad is like "youre not going at all" and alll this complete and utter bullshit. frikin stupid. and then my mom said i have to come home at 12. i think thats gey. grr. so bendig called and didnt wanna go alone but i already had a ride with mike...now i feel bad making her go alone...shit... i feel really really REALLY anxious right now. for like the past hour, since i found out i could go to the party, my stomach has been in knots and im not sure whats wrong. i had this feeling last week, but everything went fine. hopefully this is the same. well alyssas mom called my mom and said a bunch of crap to fix what was going on, and now, becuz of the party, it will prollie all go back to shit. yes. lovely. this also sucks balls becuz i havent seen bryant in liek a million years. hes going tonight. ill prollie get there after he leaves. yes. wonderful! i love life. so i guess this whole entry is just me bitching and complaining, but whats new? so my friend just came by to see me right now. i was actually really happy to see him, but for some reason i was quiet. i question that. he seemed pretty distant anyways. pacing and what not.i dunno. i never know. i guess ill go wait for mike to get here so we can go have the time of our lives. woo hoo! :/

i have a feeling im going to become obsessed with this sitdiary crap. this is my 3rd entry in like 2 days. why do people always try to hide how they feel? i mean i guess im not one to talk cuz ive gotten so good at hiding my feelings. i have trouble differentiating between good and bad feelings. everything sort of blends together and the other day i found myself crying for no reason. i hate when people tell you something and then they act a different way. when theyre like "oh youre really important to me" blahblah and then theyre off doing god knows what with god knows who and theyve forgotten all about you. it kind of hurts. again i go unnoticed? its easy to get noticed when you fuck up. i think thats the only reason im ever noticed cuz if theres anything that im good at, its fucking up. trust me. I'm left wondering why people flirt when they have no intentions other than friendship. and again, im left feeling hypocritic and stupid. but still. if you have told someone you dont liek them, why carry it on by flirting?.. i just dont know. Friday night was..very informing. lol. thanks to ryan i understand why guys do some of the things they do...or then again, i understand why ryan THINKS they would do these things. and oh yeah, cant forget mike. he was ever so helpful. haha. i realized. at one point in time, we are all left asking ourselves "who the hell am i?" and what exactly ends this phase? i couldnt tell you. let me know. this entry is pointless. just like everything else. life is pointless. so all our lives we go through all the hardships and heartaches and we work SO hard just to do what? get a job, a family, and a house? and then what do u do with those things? well lets see, at your job you work and stress out. then you clean the house, yet again work. and then the family, oh lets not even get started with that. so i ask, what is the point? we work hard to get to another level of working hard. yes, that makes a lot of sense. wow. im done.

well...tonight was a very disappointing night to say the least. lets see...i went to bed at about 430 last night cuz i was somewhat worried about, things. and then i got woken up at 930. lets just say i wasnt happy lol. then i had to clean and bullshit like that. then i had like 15 of my family pplz come over for a bbq and swimming..that was pretty tight..i got a new bathing suit...my cuzin nd i took like a million pics...tight tight...then liek idk i was stil feeling like i was missing something. then after everyone left my mom wouldnt let me go to alyssas house cuz she doesnt trust us. great. then i culdnt go out with robbie and travis and all them cuz uhh..idk parents suck ass...i threw my remote at the wall. i felt quite "anger-challenged" when i did that lol. o well. hm then everyone liek went and watched fireworks together and no one called me to do shit except for liek alyssa and robbie. hmm...gey...well i didnt even get to light any fireworks or anything...well i guess one good thing is that i was on the fone with bryant when he was at disneyland fireworks so i culd hear them and all the ppl were like woooowww!! lol yea that was..funny. lol. <3 hmmm...i guess im done. peace out lol :) <3

well i guess this is my first entry and it has to be short becuz its "too late" says my dad. anyways i guess today was frikin boring as hell...went to my grandpas in palm springs..made a few fone calls..thats all...i guess the highlight of my day WAs the fone calls...imagine that. well im still stuck on old things. lets leave it at that for now.