Mackenzie was a year younger than I, but that didn’t matter to me. I met her in gym, finding out later that year that she played lacrosse. There was something about her I really liked, that I still like. I got to know her when I wasn’t too high on life. Two months earlier I lost one of my best friends and almost lost more than that. February and March were the two worst months of my life, and I thought it would get me onto my feet again. Mackenzie was a beautiful brunette. She stood about 5 foot 6 inches, but she seemed smaller when I stood 6 foot. I liked her a lot; I liked her since I first talked to her. The more I got to know her the more I smiled when I talked to her, even when I saw her. There was just something about her that brightened my day. I asked her to semi-formal, and I was surprised when she said yes. For a while I thought for I’d be happy, actually I was happy. It hurt the most when it didn’t work out, a fault on my part for not telling her some things I should have, not sharing things I keep bottled up. I still haven’t explained some things, but I’m not sure if there’s anything left to explain. I never told her about losing my best friend, or anything that happened in my life. I finally thought things were looking up, after three months being lower than ever, this was welcome beyond all belief, a great friendship was in the making, at that I point possibly more. What hurt the most was finally seeing a way to recuperate from what happened and start making my way there. That month or so with Mackenzie, well, getting to know Mackenzie were the best of my life. I can’t with Mackenzie because I never asked her out; nothing was official in that way. I was happy becoming friends with her, I truly was, but I wanted more than that. And that’s what hurt the most…I screwed up another thing in my life, something I was just getting to experience and now miss. I never told Mackenzie what happened in my life, and perhaps this is my way of telling her. Writing a story of my tenth grade year after it all happened, and overall view on things that happened, some that make sense and others that still have me confused. Everything started late in August. Another year in Wexford, Pennsylvania stuck at Kwellen Intermediate. ENTRY 100...hell yeah summer sucks. Family problems are starting...dad's drunk everynight and annoy's the shit out of all of us...its getting pretty bad Emily is in Canada...i miss talking to her. She doesn't get back until mid August...which sucks I haven't seen much of Colleen, Ricketts, Elise, or anyone else...only seen people i've known longets...Chris, Bill, and Christian. did see Colleen yesterday...i had nothing to do and i hadn't seen her at all so i decided anything would work just so we could hang out...i went and helped her with her ccd class...i could have gotten myself into a shitload of trouble, but i didn't. Spoon is the greatest band ever...i swear to it. EVERYONE go get "Kill The Moonlight" and "Girls Can Tell" by Spoon....amazing. I'm in the process of writing a story...its down below a few entries...No Named Story is the entry name...check it out if you have a lot of time on your hands...it sucks, i know. I'm also looking for a job, no money means no fun in money mongering suburbia. I hate this town...fuck Wexford, Pennsylvania...only good place here are friends houses, Borders, and Guitars Plus. Yeah, it sucks...oh well 100th entry is done, for now...if i get bored i'll add on some...prolly not though remember...believing is hard, believing is art