so there was this one person and i am jealous of them. because they know what they want and know what they dont want. and its clear to them, and that must be nice. as for me, i dont know what i want, infact i dont know what im doing. i dont know what im living for or why im here. it just doesn't make any sense anymore. um, about that one boy. i figured it out. and im right. that makes me so sad. i could cry even. yet another example of someone who is awesomely cool, but doesn't even know it. i think its an addiction when you put it before your friends?.... like me and my sit diary. shopping this weekend w/ mom. i love Lauren. i hope she loves me back. i dont really like to look for clothes though. i am inconsistant. i dont have explanations for why i have the feelings i have. i could be mad at someone and not even know why, or i could just totally love someone but dont know why. i dont know why i think things. um, yeah i don tknow.... i dont really make a lot of sense but in my head i do so its okay. i can't decide if im fine with it, mad, sad, dissapointed, or excited. blah. wellllll i need to go clean out my room. it is a zoo. ? or something. so in my head i think this way... but really deep down i think im alright and happy. or maybe its the other way around. theres just a lot of confusion floating around.