Hopefully this will pass the time as the melatonin kicks in. I really don't get it, 2 melatonin used to be an overdose for me, and 1 would knock me out in 20 minutes. Now, it's taking 3 to 4 hours to feel any type of drowsiness on 3 pills. And trazodone just makes me retarded. haha In recent news, there really isn't any especially in Hillsville. I did get Sharon a new cage today. It was 5 dollars at the flea market, It was for a bird i believe, but I made it work. I took the cage she was in peviously and cut a hole in the bottom and stacked them to give her double the room. She has 4 floors now. I don't really know why i got so attached to this rat, but I have, and I would do anything for her. haha I only had enough to buy coffee or food for her and i picked food for her. I feel like she doesn't get a balanced enough diet. I dunno. My AT&T pre-interview is on Tuesday, and I'm getting super nervous. I went on their site because they have some material to read to prep yourself, and it seems like a lot of work. And I'm more than ok with that, we all know i love a challenge, but then i got to thinking...this job is like...hardcore, and i dont half ass things, so i would be very absorbed in this job, learning all the things i need to to be top notch. thats just what i do. i would love that, but at the same time, i dont want to get so attached or involved that i lose sight of my goals. my goals are the whole reason im looking for a job. to pay off arcadia and get a place in pittsburgh so i can finish going to school. so...would i rather stress myself out like i know i will do, for 10.11, or....try to find two fast food jobs, or a cashier job....i really need to be focusing all my energy on my future. really spending my time thinking about what i want out of myself, not trying to keep all the newest changes at ATT in check. And ive really been jonesing for some creative time. ive got so much inspiration with everything thats going on in my life, and all the music ive been finding..... i dunno. im going to go the appointment on tuesday, and whatever happens, happens. im not going to purposely fail, but im not going to stress to the point of being sick. im going to go in with a clear mind and good intentions. and if i dont meet qualifications, i will start calling the places i applied to last week. i'd like to start working out again, i never felt more motivated than when i worked out every day. well, im going to try to go to bed now, its been 2 hours since i took 9 mgs of sleeping pills, and im still not anywhere near sleep, but hopefully if i lay down on the couch i will get drowsy. till next time, jessi