i love how my life can reach a plateau of shit and just when i think its at the highest elevation and i've figured out a way to climb down...something else explodes and catapults me to a new plateau with no warning. today i found out that there is a warrant for my arrest thanks to my dear dear bastard of a father. and also, as of 4:30 pm today my loan is written off as breach of contract, and they can take legal action with me. basically im fucked. when i finally find a job (which ironically i have an interview tomorrow) they will attach my wages, make it so i cant get financial aid, make it damn near impossible to live. people say im strong and i can do it. i've gone through much worse. yeah, i have but all that much worse is still there. and it just piles up and piles up. and just when i get comfortable enough to face the 700 mile high pile of shit it gets higher. the only thing i wanted for myself was education. why is that so hard to get. its fucking education. im not asking for gold bars, a mercedes, and a fucking mansion. im asking for FUCKING EDUCATION. right now im just in a low state of mind. by tomorrow i'll be back on auto pilot and keep fighting the ever growing pile of shit. because the only thing i have is my pride anymore. and i didnt work my ass off in school and work to fail. im going to fight till i win or fight till i die fighting. which ever comes first. i really cant wait to finally reach the surface. this constant force pulling me back is really starting to physically hurt me.