There are days when I forget who I am. And as strange as that sounds, it's actually happened. I'll be sitting in class, and I'll be like..who are these people? Like I know their names, but.I.know.nothing.about.them. Speaking of class, my presentation was a sucess. I got so many compliments...that I'm actually starting to think Speech Class did something for me. Just got me used to talking in front of people, even if I didn't really learn any techniques, etc. You just have to know your information, and not make power-points so boring. And also, have props. No one wants to look at just a powerpoint. And on powerpoints, include: LOTS OF PICTURES. I can't believe how many compliments I got. I'm amazed and delighted that I got to educate some people about Islam. Thing that they didn't know, since our history teachers are obviously incoherent, and clearly hardcore2damax Conservatives. Anyway. I have a burning desire to meet new people. Hankins was talking about the movies he watched as a childhood. I can't remember. I was never interested in TV and Movies, THAT MUCH. I guess I inheritted that from my mom. She hates the movie theatre. My dad doesn't mind them, really. There's no way I would miss HP 4, though. That was amazing. Mike Newell is very artsy. I like Alfonso Cuaron better. But this atleast had an easier to understand plot...even if it was WAY off. Like beyond belief. I'm not an immense fan of rap. But I have to tell everyone to listen to Fort Minor. I love what they say, and it's amazing. Ever since I've been working soccer free-styling, I've listened to hip hop. It's easier to free-style to hip hop. Last week, some kids from the neighboring town over-dosed. Dusty actually knows them. One of his friends died, the other is in the hospital for taking 60 Klonopins. I'm not so much sorry for them, as I am him. He's a good guy..even if he doesn't make the greatest judgement. Those kids, if they want to commit suicide, they should've done it right. What were they thinking? Cowards. They clearly didn't want to die THAT bad. I spoke to Lovitt yesterday. It's been 3 years since he moved away. We never talked much after he moved. And last year, I didn't talk to him at all. Except like twice on the phone..where nothing was said, and Anna Maria overruled the conversation by being unreasonably annoying. Afterwards, I reflected on our 10-minute small-talk. What else do you say to your best friend? I can't even say that any more. We used to define platonic friendship. Now we don't even define friends. I want to know everything about him, now. I want to know how much he's changed. I wmiss him so much, I cried about it last night. How emo is that? But I don't even care what the trends say about this. Haha, I'm nearing tears again. And I have no one to tell this to. Because everyone who knew him, never knew him like I did. Sure, some people cry because he was their boyfriend. "The best boyfriend I ever had." But he wasn't a boyfriend. He was a best friend. I find my self sub-consciouly judging all my other friends by his standards. I'm still searching for him in someone else. And it's ridiculous. I lost my humour, because of this. I found no inspiration to make anyone but him laugh. I dwell on my regrets that I didn't spend enough time with him before he was moving, because I was a coward. I was beyond cowardly. Now, I spend no time with any of my friends. Partially because I have no means of transportation, (I failed my permit test today. This is strike one.) and the other part, because I just don't want to hang out with anyone that bad. Then..there's Derek. Sometimes he reminds me of Lovitt. He doesn't talk much, he's pretty hilarious, and he loves video games. And he's intelligent. AndI can spend 2 hours on the phone with him, and talk about nothing in particular, and make weird noises and be entertained. I miss Lovitt's insight. I want an iPod. Not a nano. They're way too small. But the iPod minis on Amazon are like 399.99. Um..no. I don't want a 40gb video/picture one, either. I don't want a shuffle. It's too small, too. Not enough storage anyway. I'm going to try eBay.