Roots and Ladders

Listening to: Cloud Control
Feeling: reflective
The concept of growth always trips me out. I'm constantly annoyed by everyone younger than me and admiring everyone older than me. I'm growing faster and faster by the year. My friends are right there with me even though they've grown, too. It seems like I figure things out just as they become irrelevant. But hey, I still feel like I'm at least a little bit ahead of the game. I went back and read my entire sitd, which was a trip to say the least. Sometimes I cringed and sometimes I laughed. I started this thing in 2003 at the beginning of seventh grade. My sense of humor was pretty immature back then, but I'm glad I never stopped joking. I was pretty much within my comfort zone my whole life with very little negative feedback, which gave me a pretty naive point of view. I think it gave me enough time to realize that things are really funny before realizing that things are fucked. Not in any necessarily pessimistic way...there are just way too many people for them all to interact sensibly, and now I can laugh about it. I'm going to try to become a professional comedian because nobody ever made something of themselves by not going for it. Sure, I'll work on a career in the meantime. Y'know, to eat and stuff. But I'm going to follow my own path because that's way more fucking mature than leaping straight into grad school for the validation. Home is home, but I don't feel like I have anything left to do there. College has taught me some things, but mainly it taught me that it can't teach me everything. (Also that people have huge egos.) Now I'm in Paris studying abroad, which is, well, not as different as I thought it'd be. These are the only three places I've ever lived. This summer will give me #4, and while I don't know where it will be yet, I know it will have a lot to show me. What have you learned lately?
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Life is good. Now that I can play Semi-Charmed Life on the guitar, I'm basically getting all the pussy I could ever want. Perfect time for a new paragraph. So while I was youtubing that song, (hey, I gotta perfect standing around angstily in a leather jacket somehow) I clicked on a related video: the music video to Len's smash hit "Steal My Sunshine." Now, I am particularly fond of the shitty things that I liked as a kid*, and I'm guessing that this song is pretty shitty. But here's the kicker: Since I liked it as a kid, I have no idea if it's actually shitty or not. It's like Steal My Sunshine is my cousin, and someone just asked me if she's hot. There is no answer!** Also, that song came out ten fucking years ago. I'm pretty sure that this is the first thing that I can remember that isn't a cartoon that's officially ten years old. By the way, why do I have so few memories before the age of about five? Was I an alcoholic?*** *"Linkin Park anyone?" jokes Andre 1. "I'll fucking kick your ass Andre 1," says Andre 2. "Linkin Park's first 3 albums were fucking sweet and we both listened to them in middle school!" "Bring it!" says Andre 1. And then they bring it, and Andre 1 wins, because there's only one Andre. Seriously, who the fuck did you think was Andre 2? The answer better not be the person I have dubbed "Andre 2," which is the other Andre in my class at Pomona. We are in a fierce rivalry that I am neither backing down from nor sure if he's aware of. Now stop reading this wordy and self-referential footnote and get back to my bitching about 90s songs nobody cares about. **Kickin' piano line = one hot cousin I mean not shitty. ***Yes.
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A Good Friday

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you need to be able to laugh about anything. This isn't fueled by anything in particular, it's just an idea that I try to keep in mind. I find it particularly true on a college Friday night at fo-twenny in the AM. Pomona is nice. People here say I have a very distinct laugh. It's because I actually say "hahaha."
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Set phasers to chill

Since I'm pretty kickass, I lead a kickass summer life. The guide to living an Andre summer is simple: tell your parents that you'll find a job, don't, and then spend all your time dicking around with friends, layin' down sick bass lines with no mercy, and dominating contests of sport. And also you need to be really high. A lot. I graduated from my high school in June and I couldn't be enjoying being away from that place any more. I went to a small, smart, rich private school and got a great education. Problem was, as the kids above me graduated, 90% of the people left around me were the kind of people who are really scared of anything out of the box. Imagine a population of somewhat pleasant, withdrawn, plain people worrying all the time and talking about one another. I actually had a fine time in high school, I just happened to have it around a lot of people I didn't really like. I dealt with it and had a blast hanging out with the handful of people I thought were pretty cool. So, I'm about to strap myself with an arsenal of "holy shit its the future" devices tomorrow: macbook, ipod touch, maybe a raygun...a couple minutes ago, as I was taking the stairs up to my room (two-at-a-time, all the time, because I'm that x-treme and nimble) I became saddened at the fact that this computer only has a few more "seshes" left in it before my dad commandeers it for digital photography. I will need this veritable trove of gadgetry because on August 22nd, I'll be heading out to Pomona College in Claremont, California, and I couldn't be more excited. The 22nd is also my sister's birthday, so I think it's funny that I stole our parents for the day. Heh, suck on that, sis. College is about to be so awesome. The coolest part about it is that my life has reached a sort of "kickass equilibrium" where the present and future are equally kickass, so I am neither looking forward to something nor dreading an end. Things are just kinda lookin' good for a while. It's like I'm setting cruise control, but for awesome instead of speed.
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Worst. Anniversary. Ever.

So maybe I'm a couple hours early, but exactly one year ago, I fucked my first broad! Boy was that a fun mistake! Ha ha ha! See, it's funny because it still haunts me! Oh well.
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What's blacker than being black? ICE BLACK!

Have you ever seen that shirt, "I'm only wearing black until they come up with something darker?" Well... "Blacker Than Black: Darkest Manmade Material Ever Made" Suck on that, antisocial kids who choose to parade their antisocial nature with somewhat witty shirts! Now your shirt must read "I'm only wearing a thin coating comprised of low-density arrays of loosely vertically-aligned carbon nanotubes until they make something darker." You're not a liar, are you? Didn't think so.
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Keep Cthulu in Christmas

On the only day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A DS lite (awesome) New Super Mario Bros for DS Brain Age for DS FIFA 07 for PS2 Money Candy A sweater This shirt and this shirt A shirt with the French metro system "dont stick fingers in doors" warning on it A map of the French metro system (its cool) Puzzle-a-day Calendar Subtrax, the solitaire jumping game A matted poster of Miles Davis Miles Davis - Sketches of Spain
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In the future, there will be robots

Feeling: stuffy
It's been a while, and that's because I've been preparing for Space Warfare and mastering the game of Stratego. I wrote a play entitled "It Is The Future" and I think it's really funny. I'm directing it with a friend and it will be performed at our school's one-act play festival in January. It's a murder mystery in the future. I'm also in my school Gauntlet challenge, which is like the Real World Road Rules Challenge on TV, but with a bunch of my friends. I'm on the red team and we kick ass. It's perhaps the most intense event I've ever participated in. I have exams next week and they can suck my cock.
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Footieball Footie Pajamas

So, soccer season, hey now. Beginning of the season, the first four or so games, I played not so well, and got very frustrated. But then I decided to kick it into gear. What better team to do so that the team that broke my nose freshman year? It was the sweet because it was POURING rain. The Field Hockey team is a bunch of pansies so their game got delayed, but we played on. I literally fell face-first into a puddle deep enough to get entirely into. BEST GAME EVER. Partly because, hooray, I scored two goals, neither of which were very eventful but I was happy to notch them. Wet fields means that a simple move send the defender sliding over 10 feet, and I took advantage of that. I finally got my vengeance for the broken nose, sort of. I no longer have to tell obscure teams, such as girl's tennis, to serve it into their face. Next game, I recorded my first career hat trick, and, in the span of two games, sextupled my career goal total. At the moment, I'm tied for leading scorer with five on the year. (We just played another game. I got zero, but we won 5-1, but we played really shitty. And I got punched accidentally in the chest by the goalie to earn a PK, which I didnt take.) We had a 3v3 indoor tournament in the gym with four teams. My team was called Average Joe's, and we had the star midfielder. Another player named his team after a hot freshman girl. We started off 0-3-1, and then our star left. So we drafted a senior who just started playing soccer. It looked like our team was down for the count. Then we start picking it up and finish the regular season with a win and a tie. Going into the semifinals as the #4 seed, we stood hard and upset the #1 seed. Now we really knew it was game time. The stage was set for the finals, and after minutes of deadlocked 1-1 play, we decide to go to PKs, as it was intense and we wanted to go home. We both go one-for-three, but then the other team misses their PK. My teammate Sam had to put the ball in for is to win. As our final PK slowly rolled across the gym, I was on edge. It rolled into the corner of the net! WE PULLED A MIRACLE AND WON THE TOURNAMENT OUT OF NOWHERE! It was amazing! The upset of the century! Woo!
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Hopes and Dreams of Andre Boyardee

So, it's been about two months. The reason that I haven't updated more is because it would likely be terrible. The concepts would resemble the following list: Things Andre will accomplish but probably not write about 1. Open up "Ice Cold's Hotcakes" so they can sell like themselves 2. Change last name to Boyardee, attend cooking school 3. Practice minesweeper, attain official ranking of eight 4. Throw a surprise party for someone that's extra surprising because it's not their birthday 5. Sell a guaranteed-clean spraybottle product called OptiMist (groan) 6. Play a real-life simulation of The Sims 7. Tell Kim Jong Il that Greenland called him short 8. "Why should only Jewish people be allowed to have bar mitzvahs?" 9. Now! That's what I call overdoing it! Vol. 23 10. Present an exhibit of my gradeschool art class clay masterpieces (I might actually do that last one eventually) I do, however, have a couple aces up my sleeve. Those aces will hopefully turn into bomb entries. Don't touch that dial.
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More Urine in More Places

One of my friends (I'll call him Ben, that's not his real name) got arrested a couple months ago for trespassing. He's 17 and was high at the time. Any charges were dropped, but he has to do random piss testing for seven months (for marijuana and alcohol). He went out with his other friend one night and decided to smoke, which was just an idiotic idea. Together, they smoked fourteen grams, with Ben most likely using up more than half. The very next day, he had to take a piss test. The place monitors it very well...they test temperature so they know it's fresh, and there's a man in there watching the person pee. On his piss test, Ben peed for the first time since smoking over seven grams, and it was surely THC-laden. The test came out negative. On another "Ben" story, I'll start by saying that, after the action happened, the guy said, quote, "Oh shit. Shit...Shit. SHIT!" In fact, "shit" was the only word he said for about thirty seconds. Ben had to contain his laughter as he left. In the bathroom at the movies today, the guy right next to him was talking on his cell phone while peeing. Both of his hands were aiding the peeing, while he held the phone between his cheek and shoulder. All of a sudden, the guy drops his phone into the urinal, and proceeds to piss all over his own phone. He's unable to stop his flow, and thus continues peeing all over his own phone. Worst movie visit ever: Not only does he pee on his own phone, he has to conciously think, "right now, I am peeing on my phone and I am not stopping myself from peeing on my phone." An exchange in science class: "Teacher, Ryan is threatening my life!" "They're not threats, they're promises!" Yesterday while driving on the highway, I spotted a car with a Brazil bumper sticker. I have a France bumper sticker on my car, so I figured this might cause some strife, as France defeated Brazil in the 1998 World Cup. So as I drive by this guy, I catch a glance of him, and I burst out into laughter. He has a very large beer belly, and he is using it as a makeshift tray. He has a plate of rice and chicken on top of it, and is eating from the plate maybe six or seven inches from his face. His hands are not on the steering while, nor is he looking at the road. It was as if this very fat man with a beard were sitting at a dinner table, just eating food, except that he happened to be sitting in the drivers seat of a car going 70. I have no idea how he didn't crash. My current google ads at the top of this page: Fishy Vaginal Odor? "How To Smell Fresh At All Times" 68,000 Women Already Know Powerful Septic Treatment EPA approved, bio-friendly powder. Cleans Sludge & Eliminate Pump-Outs Okay, one more: Ben was with his friend, we'll call him Jay. They were super high (this is usually a theme with Ben) and they went to taco bell to satisfy their munchies. They order a ton of food, naturally. Here is what they said: Ben: "Dude, don't forget two ice waters for the bong." Jay: [into the box] "Oh, we'll also have two ice waters for the bong." Employee: "What was that?" Ben: "Dude, don't say that!" Jay: "Oh, sorry. We'll have two ice waters for the bong...PLEASE."
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Wildcats make for Wild weekends

I'm just warning you: This shit's fucking LONG. Be ready or take it in bits at a time. IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT, though. I went to visit my sister at Northwestern with my friend Chelsea, whose brother also goes to Northwestern, and her friend Anne. It was a very fun trip. We took the train up Thursday, and took the train back Monday. The Train Ride I knew the trip would be good when it just so happened that the girl who sat down next to me turned out to be a Coyote Ugly bartender. Sweeeet. We talked some. She said it was kind of a shithole, but they got a lot of rich guys to come anyway. She said, "I don't know why they'd come. Shouldn't they be off at some martini bar?" She had also mentioned a $500 tip for a $60 tab. I found it awesome that she had brought her dad there. Wildly inappropriate and also very funny. Anne and I unsuccessfully tried to do a Wednesday New York Times crossword puzzle. I had not done one in a while, but was somewhat on point. We got about half way through and decided to quit from headaches. I also won an intense Sudoku three-way race battle by about 15 seconds. Just goes to show you that I am the master samurai of the group. Unfortunately, this train ride also contained the worst smell I have ever endured more than a sniff of in probably my entire life. There was a bathroom problem, or someone shit their pants, or Satan vomited because there was the WORST SMELL OF SHIT on the train. It came in two separate waves and stuck around for a little over five minutes each time. The conductor was ready with coffee to sprinkle in the aisle to mask the smell. This got me thinking: How often of an occurance is this if they have an arsenal of coffee powder to combat odor? Arrival and First Night Got in at around 7PM and met or re-met (from last year's visit) my sister's friends. My sister, her friend, her sister, and I all went to blockbuster and rented Domino. I like more or less any movie, so it was pretty good. It became my birthday about 30 minutes into the movie. We hung out and went to bed. One thing I learned is that every girl at Northwestern absolutely adores Sex and the City. Second day: My BIRTHDAY + Friday We went to ESPN Zone and played video games. I handily defeated my sister at every game we played, especially this one riflery game. We met up with Anne and Chelsea and ate dinner at Pizzeria Due, my dad's favorite place when he lived in Chicago. It was absolutely delicious. Our waiter was so cool, he gave me a free brownie sundae for my birthday! Also, the next table over joined in on the happy birthday song, and wished me a happy birthday when I left. Nice people. It was all absolutely delicious. If you're ever in Chicago and like pizza, eat there. Later that night, the frat SAE, of which Chelsea's brother Dayne is a member, had a party. Dayne made sure it was on my bday. Nice. It was PACKED and not too much fun until we played Circle of Death. I am the best Question Master you've ever seen. That and nine-bust-a-rhyme are CRUCIAL to the game. In truth, not too much happened that night. Saturday This day contained perhaps the biggest ego boost of my life. I apologize if this comes off as arrogant, but it happened exactly as told. You see, I slept in my sister's dorm room. She lives in a sorority. Because of this, there were mainly just girls there, and only one bathroom. One evening, when everyone was getting ready to go out, five or six girls were putting on makeup (or whathaveyou) in the bathroom as I was showering. When I walked out with a towel around my waist, they actually started cheering. Cooing, maybe? Whatever it was, I was elated. I'm not ripped by any means, but it was wonderful to know that college girls appreciate my figure. AHEM, now that I'm officially a douchebag (but an ego-boosted douchebag!) for including that, I'll get on with the rest of my day. There was a beach themed party that was somewhat uneventful aside from meeting a few people. However, my sister's friend, who planned on party hopping, wore a bikini top and brought a shirt to go over it for the other parties. However, she misplaced her shirt and was forced to look like a whore everywhere else she went. It made me laugh. We decided to go to the soccer house, but that plan was quashed when there were four cop cars at that corner. We drove by as if it never happened and went to the wrestlers' house. This guy nicknamed Floppy went on and on drunkenly about how cool and nice and kindhearted my sister was. She later told me she had spoken to Floppy about three times in her life. Soon after, the soccer house, now cop-free, was thinned out and very fun. I played some killer beirut with all big-ten forward Brad North against my sister's roommate and a girl who looked exactly like Paris Hilton. All cool people. We crushed them the first round (10-5). I started off hot the second round with four straight makes to start the game, but it ended up a little closer at 10-7. The last game was down to the wire. We were one shot away from a 3-0 sweep. HOWEVER TRAGEDY STRUCK and we ended up losing 9-10, finishing with a 2-1 record. We hung out some more and eventually hit the hay for a nice sleep. SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAAAAAY! (Monster truck style) On this day, I watched Meet the Fockers with Anne and Chelsea, and because I like every movie, it was good. I also watched some powderpuff football. It was funny to see some girls from the "girly sorority" running around with their arms flailing around in front of them. I was with Anne, Chelsea, and Dayne because my sister had this sorority meeting called Standards. At one point I said, "My sister can't be in powderpuff football because she has Standards". That double-meaning made me laugh. My sister's sorority ended up winning the championship. This one girl on the opposing team was wearing pink shorts and had a somewhat large behind. She played center, so she was the one who snapped the ball to the QB. When the girls were on the line of scrimmmage for the play, Anne said, "That girl in the pink shorts kind of walks funny", to which I replied, "Yeah, but she bends over just fine". That night I saw "Thank You for Smoking". It was chock full of outrageous satire and was very well-written. It's not like a lot of movies in that the entire thing was very tongue-in-cheek, but I liked it. It's not anything you have to rush out and see, but rent it sometime after it comes out. Afterwards, we all got frozen yogurt, which could be classified anywhere between adventure and disaster. My sister asked for a sample of this twist. The guy put his hand on the solid flavor, she said "no, the twist", he put his hand on the OTHER solid flavor, she said "no, the twist", and then put his hand on the middle one (the twist), and she said, "yes, the twist". Anne asked for a VERY SIMPLE vanilla cone. How could they mess it up? Unfortunately, the vanilla ice cream was fucked up and way too hard. The guys kept trying, but it was still too hard. Anne then switched to another flavor, but that was entirely melted. She ended up waiting a few minutes for the vanilla to be just right, completing the eerie similarity to goldilocks. Anne really really laughed at the situation. My order was the only one that went through alright. Raspberry soft serve is delicious. Later that night, I watched the last half of the Thomas Crowne Affair. I didn't exactly get it as I had missed the beginning and it wasn't my type of movie (too romantic), but Pierce Brosnan's character was awesome in a studly manner, and the last 20 minutes or so of the movie made it worth it. We didn't watch it intently, though, and discussed the merits of which would be worse for a college girl to be romantically entangled with: a 70 year-old man or a 12 to 14 year-old boy. I chose the older one as grosser. Also, when this girl Katherine asked me what she should do for her little brother when he visits, I said "Give him an hour with Brad North." Later on in the wee hours of the night, I hung out for a long time in my sister's friend's room (the bikini top one) as they facebooked, talked about their sorority sisters, and discussed fashion. No, I was not very included. It's okay though, because she is a very cool girl. After that was sleep. Nicole. And: If you're going to skim, skim this part: It's not that interesting and not at all funny Sunday afternoon, I had said goodbye to my sister's friend's little sister Nicole, who happened to be visiting at the same time. (Throwing this out there: Smoothest goodbye hug ever.) I decided to lump all of my encounters with her together, so that I can be a pining sixteen year-old in only one paragraph. First off: Nicole's sister is straight-up ferociously attractive. Perhaps the hottest girl I've met. When my sister said that her little sister, who is my year, was visiting at the same time, I was a little excited. When I first met Nicole, she was hanging out in her sister's room in PJs as my sister and I stopped in. (If you look back to Thursday, I went to blockbuster with this girl later that night and we subsequently watched domino, regrettably on opposite sides of a four-person couch). I thought she was somewhat attractive, but nothing spectacular. HOWEVER, on saturday, she was dressed up for a night out: Holy fucking shit, she was absolutely gorgeous. Hands-down the most attractive girl my age. However, I was a dumbass and forgot to actually pay attention or hang out with her, and instead played some beirut, as I didn't really think about her leaving. I am basically furious that I spent very little time with her. I didn't even get a fucking picture of us together. She seemed sort of interested, at least in getting to know me, but I'm obviously just flat out pining for her. (I totes played it cool around her though so it's straight). Hopefully we'll visit at the same time again, as both of our sisters agreed that we should definitely arrange it like that again. However, I wrote all of this so I could add this: Whatever, fuck it. This paragraph definitely suggests that I'm obsessed with her, but I'm just regularly very attracted to her in a non-creepy way. It's really not that intense. I'll just fuck it and move on, as there's no use being an emo kid about it. Sounds like Andre's got a case of the Mondays Our train left at 7:50 AM, which meant about three hours of sleep for Andre. I said goodbye to my sister and got picked up by Dayne at the sorority. Dayne forgot to factor in rush hour traffic, however, so we got there at 7:49 and missed our train. I missed it last year, too, so I'm 0 for 2 lifetime. Anyway, the next train left at 1:15. This meant that we had about five hours to spend in Chicago...but none of us had any money left. Luckily, Anne had her mom's credit card, which we used to get food and a locker for our shit. We met this one guy who helped us out, but was also very creepy because he was old but hit on the two girls. We walked around and hung out at millenium park for a while near a statue of Abraham Lincoln. We walked around town and Anne kept singing the "WANNA FANTA? DONTCHA WANNA, WANNA FANTA?" song. It was annoying but she promised to stop. I had a very delicious burger at this place called Elephant & Castle. It was British, so my meal came with chips, but I am keen so I knew that they were actually fries, but Anne and I still had a fun time referring to them as chips. We went back to the station, and Anne and I completed a Monday crossword puzzle handily in about 15 minutes. We boarded with this guy who also missed the morning train. We wanted to get the set of four seats that face eachother, but they announced that senior citizens and the handicapped would board first, so Chelsea suggested that I act retarded to get the good seats on the train. The guy we were with just stared at us and said, "I'm pretty sure that's what sends you to hell." Hilarious. On the train ride back, we played some guess-that-movie game, and the horrid smell from trip #1 actually came back for a little bit. It was less eventful. For some reason, they were fascinated/impressed with my "improv" skills. (Read: miming menial acts). I am apparently very talented at brushing my teeth in mime. I'm not a fucking mime, though: we improv folk talk. We got in fine and I went straight to my improv workshop thing. This other guy Ben was miming typing on a typewriter, but wasn't bending his fingers and was waving his hands around in a very feminine fashion. This other guy JD commented, "You must have the biggest, gayest typewriter ever". It was sweet. Afterwards, I got home and hung out, happy to be HOOOOOOME. Tuesday was not included in my trip I got my motherfucking liscence on Tuesday. It clearly states: "You may operate a moped at any time." SWEET. After passing my driver's test two weeks ago, I asked the guy if he would check off the box to approve me for a "TANK VEHICLE" liscence. He said no. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed. When I had driven the car and not a tank vehicle to my friend Kyle's house, I had to move my car about ten yards so his mom could get out. I didn't expect him to get in, but he ran and yelled SHOTTY. He asked if he was the first to ride with me, and I said he was. He yelled FUCK YEAH! and started dancing. It was great. Holy shit that was too long. There you have it. Please, read almost the whole thing, because there's good shit in there. Do it in shifts or something: I know you have the potential.
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I've always pondered the purpose of the rear central brake light on cars. They introduced this to cars in 1986. It seems as if two would suffice, which intrigues me: Why would they need a third light? The answer: Because God hates me. Let me clarify: Yesterday I took my driver's test. Let me clarify further: Yesterday I was supposed to take my driver's test. That was until the rear central brake light, which has never before served a purpose in my life, served the purpose of my car failing the driver's test. That FUCKER. Here is what happened: they test your car's lights and such before doing the parking part (and even later is the road part). My car's central back break light did not work, so I didn't do any part of the test in any way and was promptly sent home. There is no way in which a lack of this light would serve any sort of handicap whilst driving. This light serves absolutely zero purpose. Its purpose value may in fact go into the negatives. The test was at three thirty in the afternoon on what seemed to be a beautiful day (but was actually tainted by the lies and deception of the light). Basically, this rule is bullshit and I should've been able to take my test: It was light enough outside so that any driver could clearly understand the situation. Hypothetical driver: "Is this guy slowing down? I can CLEARLY see that his two rear important brake lights are on, and that his car is slowing down, but his REAR CENTRAL BREAK LIGHT (which I can hardly notice in the first place) WOULD DICTATE OTHERWISE! The only solution is to rear end him in an ignorant manner. (All because of the rear central brake light, which is clearly a hazard to the safety of the vehicle and all passengers within!)" Our car is black, but it's not fucking invisible. Why the fuck would this light stop me from driving? If someone's not smart enough to realize that a car is slowing down without having the most primitive and visually simple cue in the history of mankind, they don't deserve to be on the road in the first place. They're the reason I had to take driver's ed. They're also probably the product of inbreeding. I've never be so furious at a lightbulb in my life. EDIT: I retook my driver's test and failed because I hit three pedestrians. April fools fuckers, I passed! Who would ever hit three pedestrians? Kyra would. That's who.
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So, week before last (Feb. 6th-10th) was SPIRIT WEEK. And, let me tell you, it rocked. But first, the backstory. If LAST YEAR was any indication, spirit week is a serious thing. The grades compete against eachother in challenges and decorations. 06 (the current seniors) won last year, so everyone wanted to dethrone them. Our grade, the MIGHTY 08, was not seen as a very spirited grade, so we had something to prove. The general setup is that, each day, grades get points for the percentage of the grade that dresses up, as well as the lunchtime challenge activity. Also, each grade has a forum. It's kind of like an open area that you can just chill in. All of a grade's lockers make a square around their forum. Kind of harrypotteresque. The grades decorate the forums, and are ranked by a panel of teachers. So Monday's theme was color day, and we were orange. (09-purple, 07-yellow, 06-pink). The senior guys all wore really tight pink girls shirts. It was really funny. I just wore an orange soccer jersey with an orange buttondown over it. Just as a side note, our school colors are white, green, and blue. We go crazy like that. The lunchtime activity was like that old show, singled out. I made it to the last question, but boo hoo I don't have blue eyes. A junior guy and a senior girl (both cool kids) won points for their teams. Also, the decorations were ALL balloons and shitty streamers. Uneventful day. Tuesday was holiday day. We originally were going to have Thanksgiving, but that was too offensive (oh nos native americans!) so instead we got...mardi gras. The antithesis of offensive, I know! It was a lot of fun, though. I looked like this: (Others: 09-Halloween, 07-St Patty's Day, 06-July 4th). The lunchtime activity was the gallon challenge. Drink as much milk as you can in 10 minutes. Our guy was trucking it, but then he puked. We lost. The winner drank about 1/2 to 2/3 of a gallon. Wednesday was when we really picked it up. It was cowboy/ranch/farmer day for everyone. We got a ton of attendence, won the tests-of-strength lunchtime challenge, and WON THE DAY. Which, as I was saying, was the day most indicative of spirit, as the first two days are warmup and the last two days are cooldown. They should call it spirit Wednesday. We got to have the STANLEY CUP (buckets covered in duct tape) for the next day. Thursday was a lot of fun. It was age day, and we were elementary schoolers. (09-retirees, 07-babies, 06-college). We decorated our forum like a bedroom, complete with a ton of toys, including my dartboard and castle. We brought in a N64 and played Mario Kart. Here is a picture of me winning. I have the grey controller: I totally JUST realized that two of those guys are wearing the same shirt. It's from the laser tag place where basically everyone had birthday parties. My "costume" involved green samba sneakers, quicksilver shirt, a hoodie of my elementary school, basketball shorts, and a flip-up haircut that was very convincing. The lunchtime activity was jeopardy, and we brought the STANLEY CUP to show our awesomeness. I, keeping the theme of last year, fucked it up royally. We got last and I am on a straight path of blazing inferno to next year's jeopardy challenge. FRIDAY, the COUP DE GRAS or whathaveyou, was EMO DAY. Technically it was emo/punk, but come on, I wasn't about to not dress emo. (Stereotype day: 09-grunge, 07-preps, 06-jocks/cheerleaders). Our forum was a concert for a stage. It looked awesome. I played some songs, like "I DONT believe in a thing called love" and "Wonderwall", because those are basically the only songs I know how to play on guitar. I was also lead singer for our fake emo band, with songs like "10PM Curfew" and "I play guitar for the same reason I cut myself". (Lyrics: Attention attention x40). Let's get to it with some PIX: Andre as an emo wistfully staring. Don't stare at these too much. I'd hate for some emo girl's pr0n folder to be andreemocorner.jpg and catcherintherye.txt Andre as an emo staring with that I'm-too-cool-for-not-cutting-myself look. Those wristbands gave me fake but semi-convincing cutting scars. Oh, also, I have safety pins in the button holes of my shirt. It's kind of hard to see. Also, my hair is a little short for 100% emocity, but the pictures don't do my sweet emo side part justice. Andre as an emo angstfully staring in his corner. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm holding a copy of Catcher in the Rye, which I kept in my back pocket. Now, I don't know if those pictures accurately portray it, but my (girls style) pants were ferociously tight. It was difficult to climb stairs. Here are some quotes I got about these pants: "Not even kidding, those are the tightest pants I have ever seen." "Um, do you even have a dick?" "How does that book fit into your pocket?" One girl even said, "You look like my ex-boyfriend's twin. Literally. The fit of the pants, the eyeliner, the hair part...nothing is different." And of course, "Those pants are SO TIGHT" x100 Many people just sort of laughed and asked who owned the pants. A few people said it looked good...that creeped me out. At the end of it all, the Freshmen got last, as expected. It was really tight between 08 and 07...BUT WE PREVAILED, getting second place. It was awesome. Nobody could touch 06, though, they just overall did well at every aspect of it. However, second place is wildly successful, and we won best forum two or three times. So, a much more awesome spirit week. I see only bright things in the future for our grade. Awesome times. I really want to dress like an emo kid again. 2/19 edit: Today is the notable anniversary of Spontaneous Combustion. What a fun night, I'll tell you. I've been working on my next set like mad, whenever that happens to be.
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I wish my lawn were emo

Today was a monumental day as I finally met someone with the exact same birthday as me (aka best birthday ever aka April 7th). Her name is Elizabeth and she's a senior. I had known her beforeish, but had never recognized our special bond that we will always share. Also. The other day at the basketball game, we were very much into cheering against the other team who was much better than we were. When we chanted "airball", they chanted "scoreboard", as they were up by 15 or so. So later in the game, when THEY chanted "airball", we chanted BACK "scoreboard" even though they were up by 30. They were so confused, it owned. I get to wear girls clothes on friday (emo day of spirit week) and I could not be more pumped. (PS I'll post a pic). I also have a SWEET Blue Barracudas shirt, but that has nothing to do with spirit week. It's just awesome.
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Andre = A Nerd

This week was exam week. In the spirit of exams, I will give a little word association. Andre : His chemistry exam (as) Alkali Metals : A bathtub of water Andre : His english exam (as) Beowulf : Grendel Andre : His history exam (as) Sultan Suleiman I : The Hungarians Andre : His French exam (as) Napoleon : Europe Andre : His math exam (as) Multiplication by zero : the number six Overall, I'm like the meteor of a brain that killed the dinosaurs that are my exams. (Holy shit I'm a pompous prick!) And, as if I weren't enough of a dork, I finished my French exam early and doodled this: It says "andre". Now, flip over your head, monitor, or house and look at it. WHOA HEY COOL. Oh, and just to top it all off, I got this pretty cool looking scratch/cut thing over my left eye and it looks DANGEROUS. But I really got it from velcro, which I think is funny.
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Quotent Quotables

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRETCHEN Yeah, so here's a collection of quotes because I am so awesome that the people around me are dripping with humor. "Have you heard of that new Wallace and Gromit movie? What are the two characters again?" "One's a man and the other is a dog." "And which one doesn't talk?" "...are you serious?" (while playing football) "I'm Michael Vick! I'm Michael Vick! Alright, this play is called 'I Have Gonorrhea'." "It sucks, because all the time she thinks that I've randomly stopped liking her. I mean, this time she's right, but it's the principle." "These teams are obviously unfair! You guys are kicking our asses!" "I agree. These teams are unfair. Why can't both teams just tie every single time?" "You guys have to be the same color so the teams are even." "I was the same color as your mom last night. Red...with passion..." And, the quote of the century: "Andre, you are so hot right now."
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