I've never felt the way I feel tonight
Your words made everything drag on, and on
I finally found her, and when I did I just couldn't make things right
Is this really happening, oh god I think I just ruined my life

What the fuck am I doing?
I can't tell the difference from wrong and right
I can guess my decisions
cause I haven't been this person in my whole life
I think I need something new here
When I keep longing for what I had
No need for second opinions
I do the best I can to ruin what I have
come on

Don't think you've got to go in alone here
I've got nothing left to hide
your dying just make up your mind

I thought this was what you wanted
Someone who gets everything right (Gets everything right)
I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life
Cause we're running out of time

Something just from the new year
Hey, Hey, Hey
It's a moment that's not as bad
it's what's a part of my vision
The optimistic me, so we can make this last but no
You ruined my favorite records
By singing them then I think of you

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/out-of-time-lyrics-a-day-to-remember.html ]

Thats just hope you remember
All of the guilt inside, and I believed in you for once

Don't think you've got to go in alone here
I've got nothing left to hide
Your time, just make up your mind

I thought this was what you wanted
Someone who gets everything right (Gets everything right)
I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life
Cause we're running out of time

Just know that it kills me
When I hear anything to do with you
You will see, oh believe me
I need to be right where you are
And know that I'm leaving, leaving
And you won't hear for a year from now
And this kills me. cause now I think that everything everything was about you

I thought this was what you wanted
Someone who gets everything right (Gets everything right)
I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life
Cause we're running out of time

Don't think you've got to go in alone here
I've got nothing left to hide
Your time, just make up your mind"

I didn't even have his number saved in my phone.

Jeff thinks Aaron is in jail. Good thing too. I'd rather have him not know things about my personal life. Yes, do I have hardly any friends because of him? Yes.

I am rebuilding my self.

Piece by piece. A new person with the help of my wonderful boyfriend who understands the brainwashing and pain and agony I've gone through this year.

I'm not that 17 year old Virgin.

That girl died.

I'm 19, college student, independent, chubby, a bit of a punk, feminist, almost vegan, that doesn't give a fuck.

I will let my muffin top hang out, my hair be unbrushed, my legs so unshaven, my hair color grow out so I have I think about three inches of roots now....

I'm in a better place.