hey sorry i havnt entried in a while. my internet has been down =S thanx for all ya comments tho! spech bout my blob! hehe ok well today i had small group at school. there woz just me lana nd our small groop leader so it was gewd. i got a hole in my hell think stockings so i was annoyed =S maahhh. omgsh we hav 2 make a working arm to show the muscles for science nd i hav no idea wot to do! in class 2day me, lauren, claire nd chrissy just mucked round. lol lauren turned my diagram of my arm into a hotdog! lol crazy stuff. i had DNA tonight. we made this tape thingy to b shown at youth - i looked sooooooo ugly! but meh i'll get ova it. hahah gemma got pizza smooshed over her face! it was sooo funni hehehe. the bad news and good news iz tht out DNA groop iz spliting! we hav got to big so we gotta divide it in two. all the girls from LJBC (my skewl) r stayin 2getha, same as ne like 14 - 15 year olds. sum of the girls were upset coz we had just started to make friends wiv sum of the younger kids but its alright coz this way ww can all grow heeps closer if we in a smaller groop. its just too hard to get ot kno each ova in such a large groop. also we can do more things tht r suited to our age groop. the bad thing iz i dnt get to hang out wiv celia at DNAs nemore =( im gna miss her so much - she my big sister. shes so gorjous, i kno i'll hang out wiv her at youth nd church nd stuff but its not the same =( but its a good growing experiecne for all of us nd now i can get to kno rach even more nd also laura who iz our ova leader. shes so funny hahaha. i feel really good coz rach dropped me home nd i had a good big talk 2 her bout sum stuff tht woz bothering me - man i dno wot i wood do wivout her, shes an angel - love ya rachi!!! well tht all from me for now! ttyl, love you all. take care nd god bless - God rox my sox! - love ali x0x0x

this is my blob, meet him, he bounces =) i dnt hav a name yet... any suggestions? btw does neone know how to get a pop up thingy? if ya do plz tell - thanx heeps, luv yas all bi bi -love ali x0x0x

ok its like 12:35 in the dark if u get wot i meen. wow im sleepy. ok tonight was a great night. i went to night church nd saw Celia, Dan, Amy, Anita, Matt, Bec nd Rach nd everyone. i love goin there, u can never feel down, everyone makes u feel so special =) it woz great coz Matt got to preach nd i absolutly love his preaching, he always reaches me, he really has a gift - luv ya Matt! there was an awesome atmosphere goin, i coodnt believe how amazing it felt, it woz like everyone there woz connecting wiv God, i cood totally feel Jesus's presence. i full kno hes real bcoz every preaching i have heard lately, has been as if its for me. is unbelievable, hits me like a brick wall. man i love being a christian. it woz heeps kewl coz we got to go to the visitors lounge coz its was Lanas first time there nd the lady woz heeps nice nd she gave us all cake nd a drink! i woz like SCORES! hehe me nd rach were like hehe were so naughty! lol after church i went to Nicoles house. its was heeps fun even tho it was onli for bout an hour nd a half. Esther, Kat, Mel, Windah, Jade, Alanah, Nicole nd me were there. we just hung out nd talked. i hadnt seen most of them like all holidays so it woz great to catch up. everyone was seying how diff i looked nd i woz like r u serious? i fully thort i looked no diff nd they actually sed i looked older then Mel! i coodnt bleave it coz like Mel gets mistaken for an 18 year old. i woz like YEY! nd they sed i looked real pretty. i didnt agree wiv ne of this but it still made me feel gewd =) luv ya guys! man im annoyed coz Maya missed her flight nd now she wont b back till friday =( i cant wait tht long! hehe awww but i will miss her more. well thts all from me for now, i need my beauty sleep! hehe luv yas all, take care nd God bless

hey everybody, sorry ive not replied to ur comments, ive been really busy nd tired l8ly but i will do it 2mz. its midnight atm so im not doin it right now. today i went to the shops nd bought this really kewl blak jaket nd my sister bday present. diz cute teddy thts shes totally in luv wiv. nd den i went to koorong (christian store) nd got this totally awesome cd which i hav been hanging out for for ages! when i got home i went out to a family friends house where i hung out wiv Simmi. shes so gorjous, she 7 this year. we watched a marathon of "are u afraid of the dark" episodes nd she wood hang on to me weneva she got scared, awww so sweet. Gabby wasnt home tho, she was on a camp for her drama production so im gonna hang out wiv her wen she comes up here to visit. 2moro my bro comes home! i cant bleave its been 2 weeks since he went away. he went to sydney wiv skewl nd then to stay at my nannas. time flew by, but it'll b great to c him agen, i missed him! den for the rest of the day im washing my grandpas car, doin homework b4 the hols r ova =( tear, nd then im off to night church! cant wait! i luv it there, everyone iz so welcoming nd accepting. if im ever feeling down i can still go 2 Lakes nd i'll feel so much betta =) well soon im gna figure out how 2 get background nd stuff on here nd get tht warning thing tht pops up, but ive gotta b bothered to learn. im gona look at tht htmlandgraphix diary nd hopefully it will help. well thts all from me, im off to sleep now. luv yas all take care nd God bless - love aLi x0x0x

omgsh my friend laurens best friends puppy died =( he was onli six months old nd he drowned in thier pool. how sad it tht. he fell in and was trapped under the cover. he had no oxygen. a six month old little cocker spaniel puppy. can u imagine him drowning? he would of been so frightened, paniking like crazy. when she told me i burst into tears bcoz so many times my dogs hav fallen in the pool but they were lucky enuff to find the steps nd get out. some arent so lucky. ppl never take any thing for granted nd watch out for ppl, u never kno when things can go terribily terribily wrong ='( ='( everyone plz plz take care nd god bless u all -LoVe aLi x0x0x0x

lately there has been alot of stuff goin round bout how ppl hav changed, nd everyones getting upset bout it, but the other day i realised tht ppl do change. they aint gona b the same forever, coz thts wot everyone is expecting. everyone is always gonna change as they mature nd get older nd ppl just need to accept tht. sure it mite suk if u dnt like how they have changed, but sumtimes u cant stop urself from changing as u grow. if u really dnt think its for the best then tell the person nd offer help or sumthing. the person may thank you for pointing it out and then they will see wot has happened nd fix it, but other then tht, its like tht dude sed "to thy self be true" as long as u stay true to youself thats all that matters. -love aLi x0x0x0x

ok i dont think tht satan wants me to make this entry because twice i have written it nd both times it hasnt worked. they hav been my longest entries ever and im not writing them agen. wow, boot camp was awesome. we had some awesome preaches: Matt, Glen and Sam. Matt as usual, never fails to inspire me, Glen is a great man wiv a big heart nd Sam was virbant nd bubbly. we had a inncredible prayer session in which i felt a bit lost, but i'll get there, im praying to God tht he will help me get my words out when im trying to pray out loud. during this session, i gave my life to God, like for real, i told him tht from now on i am following him for all my days and will never turn back. i told him i was laying my life on the alter for Him to do as he pleases. i surrended my all to Him. After this is met an awesome chick called Stevie. we were paired off together to pray. we prayed for each ova nd then she prayed for my brother and i prayed for her friend Sarah. at lunch i got to hang out wiv Celia, my absolutly gorjous friend. shes one of my mentors, so sweet. i also got to hang out wiv Kat a lot, so we got closer over these past to days, shes so cute n funny. oh yea nd i met this really cool chick who gets into schools nd spread the Gospel, shes prayed for me, shes really sweet. Synrg went off! it was revolution united so we had bout the older and younger youth goups together for one awesome night. the atmosphere was fully of energy anf praise for Jesus. the night was made even more awesome by a legend Pastor Niel Smith. we were privaliged to ahve him preach. he began Lakes church so without him there would be no youth group. i owe a lot to him. he has such a big heart.he had this awesome story bout eagles nd how they relate to out journey with God, it reall hit home nd helped a lot. i went down with my friend to the alter call nd then when we went to a diff room for them to fill out sum forms nd get a bible, i had a tlk wiv Sam, i told her how well she did at boot camp, shes so sweet nd full of joy. when everyone left i had a talk wiv my amazing DNA leader Rach. i told her bout all the things tht had been trubling me and she helped me sort em all out. i luv her stax. oh yea nd i saw Jesse there! i hadnt seen him for ages so tht brought back memories! lol. so as i woz leaving i woz thinking how life coodnt get ne better when this really sweet girl Lucy asked me for my number nd sed we shuld hang out. i felt hell special. shes a gewd friend of a good friend of mine, Maya, so wen Maya gets back from Melb we are gonna hang out. cant wait =) dude me life is sik nutz at the moment. life is awesome nd so is God. Take care princessess nd princes of God, i pray tht u will all find Jesus if u hav not already. God bless! mwah u all rock - love ali x0x0x0x

man i feel awesome. i just had a really good prayer session in my room. i closed my door, turned off all the lights, put on my favourite worship cd n prayed my heart away. i was in tears by the end of it. id been longing to feel the prescence of God for so long, i keep feeling like i keep missing it, but tonight i felt it. there is no other feeling the Jesus, no one can make u feel like he does. if u are ever in a bad situation or any situation and you need help, pray. god always answers. you are all children of God, he is jsut waiting for you to open you door and let him in. take care all of you and God bless - L o v e A l w a y s, A l i x 0 x 0 x 0 x dude no one eva comments nemore! haha lol wow im luved

today was great. i went to boot camp nd it went off. there werent as many people there as i had hoped, but it was fantastic to see the amount of ppl there caring for jesus n wanting to get ot kno him and save their schools. our totally awesome youth pastor Matt preached for 2 of the sessions, he so cool i luv him to bits. nd for the ova session we had a diff girl names Kerryn i think - she was wicked - she gave us lollies =p hahaha a gewd girl she is. yea nd so it woz a really spiritual day ... but i didnt feel nething. i kno tht god woz there today, but i just didnt connect wiv him. i wanted to be one of those people tht were kneeling on the floor, overwhelmed by His power, but i wasnt. tht cood b bcoz i had one of the worst stomach pains i hav had for as long as i can remmeber. i hav a feeling it woz satans doing, bcoz he woodnt want me to connect with god, that woz his way of holding me bak, damn u satan! but i did get to hav 5 amazing girls pray for me - i love u stax Rach, Kat, Celia, Lana n this amazing planet shakers girl whose name i must find out! shes so sweet, im so happy to of met her. man u hav no idea how awesome everyone is there. u can never feel down in tht place, everyone is just to beautiful. i found Mels earring for her! i woz outside lying on the grass bcoz tht woz the onli way to make my tummy stop hurtin (i think it woz sumthing in the muffins... they did taste gewd in my mouth tho!) yea nd i saw sumthing shinny n then i piked it up, nd wen i woz tlking to Mel i go "look wot i found" nd she woz like "Omgoodness my earring!!" she had lost it ages ago after the first time she wore it nd they were a present from a friend. thts proof tht God does hav a plan for u. he knew wot satan was doin by making me sik, but then he made good from it nd made me find Mels earring - yey! well thts all for me coz i kno ppl hate reading long entries. take care everyone nd god bless - love ali x0x0x0x

YEEWWWW!!!! i just had an awesome day. i spent it wiv all the amazing girls from my DNA group. DNA is a part of my youth groop SYNRG. we went to koorong which is this awesome christian book store. its got so much cool stuff from jewellry to cds and from books to cards. so there i bought this cd ive been wanting for so so so long nd ive been playing it non stop since i got home. its called 'my king' by planet shakers. so awesome. nd then we went into the city for lunch n den we had a shop around. it woz great to hang out wiv em. i luv dem all so much. they make u feel on top of the world. i luv ya rach, celia, kat, amy, all of yas! they all so special, i luv em to bits. thank u god for sending them all to me - u rok. i think im back on track wiv god. being in koorong gav my this special feeling n i kno im neva gonna let it go away. 2moro is boot camp (not literally, we getting stax of awesome youth preachers. its like for us to connect wiv god n help save our schools n stuff) at synrg, i woznt gonna go coz nun of my friends were, but today i decided its about me n god, not my nd my friends. so 2moz im goin n im gonna have the time of my life! jesus rox, nd he loves me for who i am. well everything is alright wiv tht person tht asked me off the site. she apologised n stuff so we all gd now =) aint yas happy - i aint leaving nd i neva will!!! =] thanx all of yas for ur comments - its u guys tht help me stay strong. -love ali x0x0x0x0x

alright im full confused. i dnt feel nething wen i got 2 church or synrg (youth) or nething nemore. im fully lost. i look around me n i see everyone getting into it n crying out to god, but i just dnt feel wot i used to n tht confuses me... i want to feel like i did, maybe i'm holding something back, i dno i'll hav to tlk 2 rach or celia or anita... soon i hope, coz i dnt wanna go to boot camp feeling like i do... or maybe i will find out at boot camp... after all thts wot its for, to save me school n to follow god n everything ... i just wanna feel like i used to, i dnt feel the security i used to. i want my life to be perfect wiv god. i dnt wannna feel like i do, questioning everything. i want to get into it n be a part of what i used to. i stand there n worship him but i just dnt feel nething. ugh well neways stuff is goin bad with the person who asked me to leave the site, as i thought it would. what should i do? i really dnt wanna leave all u guys but i do respect the person tht asked me to... what do u think? -love ali x0x0x

i cant leave. im sorry person tht asked me to leave but i cant. everyone on here means to much to me. i woz only here for a short while but im already attached. u all meen so much to me and i cant just walk away. i cried myself to sleep the nite tht i had to leave this site. i kno tht prob sounds stoopid seein as this is just a website, but i hated to think tht the people tht ive tlked 2 n helped wood jsut slip back into how they used to b n i coodnt let tht happen. all i did tht nite woz cry n pray tht u wood all b ok. to the person who asked me to leave, how bout i dnt read ur diary n u dnt read mine? then it will b like we aint even on the same site. thank you everyone who commented on my entry about me leaving - tht made me feel very special n luved. u guys rock =) i kno im gona have sumone very pissed off at me for coming back on here n i must be crazy for doin it but im sorry, i love everyone on here too much. hope you all can welcome me bak wiv open arms =) luv yas all so much, wow im so tired. its 12:12am... so much for goin 2 the beech at 10:30, sorry andrew but i dnt think im gonna make it lol. i got my eyebrows waxed today (ouch) n den i had to go to the shops wiv my eyebrow area all red SHAME but i got ova it. i got sum new jeans tho =) tht made me happi coz i had been looking for HOURS n den i found a gr8 pair =) nd den i went to my friend johns bday party. dat woz good fun. well im off, thts enuff for one entry, take care evryone n god bless all of yas -love ali x0x0x0x0x

haha i thort i wood just use tht mood coz well im not gonna have a chance to any more because: hey evryone just letting ya kno tht i wont b cumon on here nemore. ive been kindly asked to find somewhere else to escape from everything because this is someones elses escape site or sumthing like tht. well either way i must so sadly i leave you all. it was great knowing all of you even if it was for a short period of time. i wish you all the best for the future. Please take note of the things i have sed. i care greatly for all of you and wish you all the best for the future. God bless. - love ali x0x0x p.s. becauseithurts, plz plz plz take care, just coz i aint on here dnt meen u aint gonna stop trying. ur gonna make it all the way thru n rise abuv everythin. same wiv u toxicmonkey666, luv yas all stax

our generation is dying ... i thort it woz alive, i think half of it is. i kno at least some of it is ... i can c tht wen i go to youth. but as i look thru the diaries on this site ... i see some of it is dying. parts of our GENERATION - us - is dying ... there is so much bad in the world wich is allowed to happen. no body seems to b doin nething bout it. some thing needs to b done. these ppl NEED to b saved. parts of our generation needs to b saved. we need to live our lives the way the were made to b lived. save each other, dare to be diiferent, go against the crowd, do the right thing, what ever it takes, this generation needs saving. we could be so powerful, such a strong generation, be we need to be saved, bring people out of the dark and live agen

wow i am d-e-p-r-e-s-s-e-d. i just spent 3 hours at harbour town looking for a pair of jeans and ive come home empty handed. i absolutly hate shopping for clothes. i used to love it but now i just never find nething tht looks good on me. i must be the exact wrong body type! ive needed new clothes for a while n i finally get to go shopping n i find nothing, nil, zero, nada, yenti! i dnt kno what im gonna wear to johns 2morow =( im so annoyed. i dnt kno how everyone else can find such gd clothes. i must be wrong height, wrong weight, wrong shape, WRONG BODY!! store after store has the same clothes i hate it. i dnt kno how ne one can b individual nemore

yey my night just got betta =) my friend john who i hav neva really tlked to, just asked me 2 his bday outting thingy on sat - i feel luved! we've onli really been tlkin recently - hes wiked, i luv him heeps =) now i jsut gotta get him a prezzie - wot do u get a guy? right now im thinking money or a cd! lol aaww hes so sweet he sed the gift dnt matter as long as u come. aawwwww n i just got this email wiv all these natural highs so i thort i wood post them. here ya go: ~*~NaTuRaL hIgHs~*~ falling in love. a hot shower. a special glance. getting mail. hearing your favorite song on the radio. hot towels, fresh out of the dryer. a bubble bath. giggling. a good conversation. the beach. finding $20. laughing at yourself. midnight phone calls. running through sprinklers. laughing for no reason. someone telling you youre beautiful. friends. accidently overhearing a compliment about you. waking up and realizing theres more time to sleep. your first kiss. someone playing with your hair or scratching your back. making new friends or spending time with the old ones. sweet dreams. swinging on swings. holding hands. making cookies. watching the sunrise. waking up and being grateful for another beautiful day. knowing someone misses you. getting hugs. knowing you've done the right thing no matter what people think. God bless all of yas =D

i just got back from the shops. i got some new earings, they r dangly n they r streched out silver stars - pretty cool . . . i dnt like goin to the shops latley, especially on late nite shopping nites. im always running into ppl i kno n i dnt like it . . . i feel like everyones watching me. so many guys looked me up n down tonite, its scary, who knos wot they r thinking . . . ive been really paraniod l8ly

i just got back from the movies. i saw win a date wiv tad hamilton. it was pretty good - predicatable, but a good chick flick =0) i saw kate bosworths different colour eyes this time. they're heeps kewl. shes pretty ... wonder if shes still wiv orlando bloom ... lucky bitch. well neways on the way home i had a fight wiv my sis coz she seys she neva gets to go on the computer ... which is probably true ... but i need my computer time! to chat to all of u n what not. my bro seys im turning into a computer nerd but i like my msn. lol well thts bout all from me. im goin to my sisters dancing practice around 4ish n then to the shops to buy some earings. ive been feeling really self concious today ... like everyone is watching me nd thinking bad thoughts bout me ... i dnt wanan go out into the public eye nemore today ... -love ali xoxox

HAHAHAH a crow just flew into my window!!! hahah suk suk suk! theyve been having daily gatherings around our lil fountain out side n one of em jsut flew into da window =) haha man im happy now, serves em right... hehehe and on a more serious note. i have a question. all you cutters out there... why do you do it? what causes you to want to hurt yourself when you already have so much pain in your lives? i hav a friend who cut herslef over far far less then what most of you guys are going thru. so yea i was just wondering how it helps -love ali x0x0x

Ok ive just been reading thru sum entires in sum random diaries n im so upset. there are so many of u out there in such incredible pain... i have already been praying for you, hoping so hard tht things will turn out better. All of u whos lives arnt going to well, plz dnt hurt urself or wish u were dead - you were given life for a reason... i kno it dosnt make sense for you to go thru so much pain, but what hurts you can onli make you stronger. please try and pray, but for the right reasons, for help. if any of you ever need to talk, i mean neone, even if you have no idea who i am, jsut say the word n i'll be there. i dnt kno u but ur all jsut as important as each other and all hav a right to enjoy life. i dont know if theres much i can do to help you other then pray, so that what i will do, for all of you. Please please try n think positive, you're entires are already breaking my heart. you're all amazing people, god bless each and every one of you, love ali x0x0x