tbw

so i was about 6yrs old at fort benijaman harrison in indiana. it was the middle of winter and my sister was going sleding with her friends. so i begged to come and she took me and my ninja turtle sled. we went out in the woods and found this biger hill with a creek at the bottom. my sister forced my to go down the hillside that went level before the creek. which was fun but the big kids made a ramp out of ice and that shit look AWESOME. at first she was like no way. but i can be quite charming when i try. she finaly said yes and then came the warnings. 1 hit the ramp in the center 2 turn away from the creek when you land. 3 jump out if you start headding toward the creeki said ok. i was just think about the ramp and how awesome it would be. so i heard none of that. so i start going down and i hit the rampand I FLEW IT WAS AWESOME. that is untill i hit the ground. I hit my tail bone when i landed and the screwed me up and i could not think about turning away from the creek. OH NO i was just thinking about the water i was heading fo. I was so small that when i tried to roll out of the sled. all i did was turn over on to my stomach. i saw my sister screaming "jump out!" and the next thing i know SPLASH i am in the water up to my shins. my shoes and sock were socked. to about 15 mins later my sister started to take me home draging me on my sled. i may have been crying at the time. and that why my nice loveing sister ws pulling me. anyway while i am sitting in the sled my feet start to fell funny so i take off my shoes and omg the 2 pair of sock were gone and al that was left were the strechy bands. i guess what happened that after were socked the water frooze adn the socks broke like glass. i thought it was kool so i told my sister to lookand she freaks out and starts running home. i think she left me there but my dad comes running out and picked me up and started running to our home. i take off my shoes. whichi put back out when i was my dad comming out because i was not geting in to trouble for being barefoot outside. my mom is freaking out. my little sister is freaking out my older siser is telling what she learned bout stoping frostbite. and i am thinking its awesome that i can't feel my feet feet any more. and my dad is telling my mom to run a luke warm bath and his lift up his shirt and puts my feet on his stomach and starts rubbing my feet.i thought wow my dad is rubbing my feet and my mom is drawing me a bath. i am like a king. that is untill i feel my feet again and i start freaking out. they are cold and feel like pins and needle. and the bath is going to make this quicker. Oh hell no i thoughti start screaming and kicking becuase it hurt so much. i would have rather they cut the damn things off. but by now that bath is ready and they throw me ini scream and try to get out theyhold my feet in. i stop screaming they let go of my feet. i try and make a run for it. i get as for as the bathroom door when my dad picks me back up and throws me right back in and they kept me there until my feet went back to normal.

stars of Life, and heaven light a summers breeze a childs need. the worldis not what it seems to be we see what we want. to stop and see what we have all and all for all we have is all we need and we can not see love's last breath to you and to me. moonlight to starlight sunrise to sunset. set the sun on the world of hate for tomarrow brings a dawn of fate Wars of hate make broken lives. whens its over lives are lost forever. why did they die i do not know but i hope not for land money, money nor revenge.for when you are before him with your blood stained land and paper money, and a story about what has been dont to you. they well all be meaningless. when you send him someone early your souls are lost forever. never to see the stars of life

Ok I am 18, I had just graduated 5 mins ago. My cousin J.M. tells me about his friend Brians grad party in Brazil, Indiana. I get permisson to go under the following three conditions. One don't drink. Two be back in time for my party the next day. Three don't drink. I said ok and we were gone. One hour and a half later we are in Brazil. Now Brazil is like the boondocks of Indiana. I even think I heard dueling banjos as we drove through town. So, We get to Brian's and I am told we, J.M. Brian and I, have to go pick up J.M.'s other friend. I am going to call this guy Ben because I forgot his name. We go pick up Ben in Brian's P.O.S. car. We get there. We get him. We start to come back. Brian says you guys want to take the short cut. We all agree. So, Brian takes a right onto the old dirt road. Now the ONLY way this road is faster is because there are no cops on this road. So Brian guns it. Now we were going so fast I was getting scared, The car is Jumping on the road. I say jumping because there are little hills that we go flying off on to the next one. After the first jump, I look over from the back seat and see that we are going 90 MPH. I am realy scared now. After the last Jump I hear the car bottom out. Brian then goes UH! OH! I say what. Brian said shit I spilt my coke. Here, danny hold this. I lean over and Brian PASSES THE GOD DAMN STEERING WHEEL BACK TO ME. I Scream "WHAT THE FUCK! DUDE PUT IT BACK! PUT IT BACK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT IT BACK. I basicly threw the steering wheel at him and said "We are all going to die!" Brians pops the wheel back on. Now if you think I was over reacting keep in mind we were still going 90 MPH threw that whole thing! We get back to Brian's house I get out the before he even stoped all the way and say I am never fucking riding with you again. J.M. said bullshit you did the same thing on the way here. Now in my defence yeah I was going 85 on the highway. I was moving my car back and forth making a tire or two leave the ground for a sec. Maybe I did left the back wheels drift make that last turn on to Brian's street, But I in noway took the wheel off the car and put it in the back seat! I alway had complete control of my car. But anyway I stop freaking out and I forget about it. J.M. and hit the gas station for smokes. Its starts getting dark and people start coming by the time we get back. I am introduced to a bunch out ppl i dont remeber except for Danni. Danni is a big girl with near ugly face, Now Danni is the reason for everything that follows. I got a hot dog and J.M. takes my keys hands the to Brians dad gets me a beer, keep in mind every one there is under 18, Now the way I drink normaly is the way other people chug. so I start to drink the beer, and I dont know what happened in the bottle but it start shooting out of the bottle faster and faster for some reason I choked on some. Danni sees and asks whats wrong. I proceed to tell her that i never drank before and I didnt know that it could put itself under pressure like that. she then laughs and in the the most condescending tone I have ever heard. she called me a Greenhorn and something about I cant drink like the rest of them. I don't say anything. but in my head i think Thats its i have had enough. I am going to out drink, out party,and be the last one to pass out. I from here on out I have a hot dog every time I have a beer or shot. so I was pissed and I had a two more beers and hot dogs and I found out I get happy when I drink. so I have one more beer and dog and now I have to pee, but I can't walk that well infact i wouldn't even call what I did walking! I would point my body to somewhere and stand up lean forward. My body did this running fall that by the time I got there. I was almost on the ground. I would start over getting closer and closer to where I wanted to go. I got there went pee no problems. I get back outside and Danni yells out time for shots. I think I can't say I out drank them if I don't do shots too. So I stumble on down there grab a lawn chair and sit down. In order to prove they had nothing on me. I drank a whole beer after every shot and ate a hot dog. now we did 7 shots and woah I was gone. At this time the 4 beers I had earlier were all hiting me. Something put this bright idea of getting the cape I had in my trunk out. oh yeah i was cold. Why did I have a cape you ask. Thats whole other story but the nothing tells the cops your making things up when you say he was wearing a cape. lol but back to this story I put on the cape and join the party again. someone asked what I was doing with the cape and my smart ass had only one thing to say. "I AM UBERMAN!" and I ran in a circle going whoosh and stop and sung Here I come to fuck up you daaaaay. Then I leapt over the fire to get another beer and a dog. i finished that and the music was going and dang it. I was in the mood to dance. So I did and now I am drunk anyway other people start to dance to then I wanted to dance with someone so I asked the girls on the patio to dance they said no then I asked brian if he wanted to in the if girls can dance with each other and not be gay why can't 2 guys. brian was drunk to so he said yeah and we dance and moshed and jumped around and the shots and beers hit me and I fell. I then get up and go sit by Danni. And then I found that beer doesn't make people better looking it just make the idea of having sex with them better. now here i am sitting next to Danni and I start thinking hell i am alot better looking than danni there is no way I am not losing my virginity tonight. then I turn to danni and look her straight in her blue eyes and I say Hell No! Danni says "what are you talking about. Why would you say hell no when no body was talking to you." I said didn't you just ask if i was a vegan" she said no i thought shit i didnt mean to say that out loud but then Brian declared it time to mud wreasle and I was like hell yeah it is this is the best party ever! So brian gets these two girls to stand in the kiddie pool filled fill mud and water. They start going at it. We are all cheering . Brian runs and jumps in. I gasp and think oh hell yeah Me too. I start to do my stumble thing but I am so far gone I trip and slide into the side of the pool. I get hit with the Ice cold freezeing mud and think hell no those fuckers are crazy I am out. I go get another beer and a dog and have a seat by the fire to dry off. they finish its now time for swiming in the normal pool hell yeah we all head toward the pool J.M. helps me walk. We get there and no one has a suit we start talking about what to do. Then all of the sudden this huge fat guy come running out of the house throught the crowd and jumps in the pool bare ass naked. thats settled it skinny dipping is in. The guys minus the guy in the pool go in side while the girls get in and the pool. the guys strip down to boxers and head out and remove after hoping in i was in there all off 5 mins before I was forced out becuase I was turning purple with blue lips. I felt fine but i hoped out got dressed grabed a beer and sat by the fire. Then I found the bottle of rum we did shots with and had the most dangers idea I have ever had. I started pouring the beer and the rum in my mouth at the same time. For every half mouth full of beer the was a half mouth full of rum. This for about 3 mins before every one was cold and wanted to go inside. I crawled my way up there stand up use the wall for support and head inside with the rumm in one and and a few beers in the other. I found this barstool and had to climb to get in it becuase the seat was a good 6 inchs above my waist. open a beer and the rum and keep going . now they are cutting the cake i just sit there with my beer and rum when i find out that when you get really fucked up the room does not spin. you just can't keep your head up for moe than a second so it starts rolling out your shoulders. now a smart man would have said thats enought its time to stop. but noope not me I was not a smart man I was a man on mission. so I sat there and I drank three more beers with the beer in one hand and the rum in the other and my head rolling on my shoulder. I was timing my drinking so that when my head rolled back to drink and when it rolled forward to breath. i dont know how long i was there for but I soon ran out of rum. so i turned around and everyone was asleep and all the light were off and the sun was coming up. I thought whos the green horn now. lol but the I realized I don't know how do get off the barstool. so I finished my beer thinking about I am going to get down. I decided that the best course of action would be to jump off. so I stand on the stool and jump/fall off i crawl 2 feet and decide this is the best place to sleep. I passed outNow for the aftermath, I wake upon the floor wraped in a blanket thinking where did the come from? I know damn well I didn't get this myself. so I got up and thought I stabed myself in the head now this would have been one killer hangover except for the fact after sleeping 3 hours. I was still drunk. I was dehydrated. and the best part I just started to enter Alcohol Poisoning. how do I know you ask. well thats a good question. You know your in the first stage of Alcohol Poisoning when you have trouble breathing look like your grampa was a smurf( lol kinda blueish skintone) did I alert anyone you say. Nope I sure didn't becuase I my body does this awesome thing before I throw up the sliava gland in my cheeks start to pour out sliava i know its not a "I think I am going to throw up" it is a "can i make it to the bathroom if i start running now". I was so glad i made it to the bathroom. with in the first 5 mins I throw maybe 6 times pretty much emptied my of the food beer and rum but that didnt stop my body from trying to punish me. after the food was bile. that only lasted a min before I empty but that didnt stop my body from trying to vomit the alcohol from my blood. for the next 4 hours all I did was dry heave. I was lucky to make it 30 seconds before i did it again. and EVERY SINGLE TIME it felt like I was being stabbed and the knife was being twisted. I really felt like i was being stab i was in panic mood but i could not leave i was scared i was going to throw up blood. I started praying,with tears down my face, to god to make it stop. and once i finished the prayer thanking him for doing this to me so that I might learn to never to this again. I threw up more bile but it only felt like I was being stab no twisting. so i started doing it a again and more bile now I could now finish that prayer but every third for forth time. but for the next 3 1/2 hours I prayed and I prayed and every time I asked for him to help me he did. (oh and it only worked if i did the prayer in mormon format thats how I know the church is true and also why I have never give my testament becuase is I am pretty sure they well get mad at me lol.)any way my cousin drove me to his house on the i said that was awesome and then I vomited on the side of the road got to his house my anut patty gave me a sheild shaped pink pill and I slept for 12 hours missed my party hand the hangover for three days. 3 hours to remeber and write down

when i was in first grade i live at boulder at guest in the only 2 story house on the corner of 75th and county line road now carrol road i remember alot and i blocked alot i remeber meatingfirst friend marc van fossin i got in trouble the first time i met him because i saw him and eric lawler my first enemy in is swing set about 300 feet way and i went over ther and played and when i came back a was yelled at BC i disappeared. if we three were put on scale i was white eric was a gray that was almost black and marc was a gray a hairs breath on the dark end i never stole picked fights and was a good kick eric on the other hand lied stole and picked fights and marc was which ever one he was with eric lead marc marc lead me and i challeged eric and went i say lead i me we did want the leader wanted to do with input from the follower. the leader wanted to play a vidoe game the follower picked out which ones he was willing to play that was our triangle there were other kids in the nieghborhood the berry we called him berry berry kix like the ceral and greg and his bother and david sole and his sister and the neighborhood bully david goss and a few other kid i bearly knew

when my 9 year old sister was babysiting me while my mother was inside that house when i was one one and a half i disapeared for about 3 hours i crawled down the street about a block or two with my sisters friends litle brother he was my age and we crawled to a sandbox and that is were we were found. when i was 2 1/2 we moved to chesterfield IN and my litle sister was born a few weeks later in anderson IN there and then moved some time later to indianapolis IN and 2 and 1/2 years from when my sister was born my litle brother came 2 days before my 5th birthday my brother was born that was my first memory my mother going to the hospital and we the kids going to grandma and grandpa's house. when i was three i nearly and i mean nearly cut off both my thumbs it started BC my mom cut an apple up for me and went to say good my to some house guess and i finish my apple and wanted another one to i got a chair and climb up grabed the apple and the knife and tryed to cut the knife adn i held the apple in one hand and the kife in the other and i put the kife on the apple and pushed down i cut my thumb i though owch that hurt realy badly but i wanted that apple so i switched hand and held the knife with my cut hand and held the apple withteh good one and the same thing happen and then both my hands were hurting and i went to get my mom and to tell her i couldnt cut an apple by my self and we she saw me she screamed when she saw my hands covered in my blood dripping blood adn i dont remember after that but i do remeber the 3weeks after that with big ass banadges wrap around my thumbs siting on the couch doing the only thing i could at that point sitting there giving 2 big thumbs up with a pouting lip my mother said that i down to bone on one hand and the other one i cut done to it and half way around it. at one point when i was about 5 give or take a year i pushed my litle sister down the stairs but i dont me shoved her down like you think i got a laudry basket and grabed her and said i got an idea ok come here i took the laudry basket and pushed it down the stairs and then i said i am going to put you in that and if you lean back it wont tip over and i asked her is she wanted to try it and she said yea so i got the laudry basket and but her in it and pushed her down it and thats all i remember i was told that she was halfway down the stairs when the laudry basket fliped over and my parents heard thump thump thump and they rushed over to see my sister hit the floor and my mother rushed over to her and my farther rushed up the stairs to me one of they told the other to not hurt me and when they asked me what happen after i had my ass beaten so bad i cant remember it i told then and i said she would not have flipped over with she would have leaned back like i said my mother was crying and my sister was taken to the er and they said she was fine and my mother didnt belive them but they said that at her age her bones were still fexible and she was fine and the only reason she was crying was be cuase my mother was crying and that made her cry. in kindergarden i was playing with my best friend down sergeant's row with a boomerang and my 3rd grade neighbor came by and mike i think his name and i were was throwing it trying to make it come back and the third grader. I think his name was david brown i just guessing he was black and he was my 2nd best friend any way he took the boomerang and threw it once and it came back and headed right for us and one of them said duck and i laid flat on the ground and the damn thing hit my square it the chin. we ran to mikes house i was crying and his mom poured alchole on it gave me a hand full of tissue paper and said hold this on your chin and dont let go and whe walked me to my mom and told her what happen and she told me to show her the gash on my face and i remember that it hurt to take off the blood soak tissuse paper that she pull my hand away and she and my dad took me to the military ER on the base. we waited for a while when the docter took a look he said I needed stiches and I didnt know what that meant at first both they numbed my chin and then they took out the needle and then I knew I KNEW they were going to stab me over and overwith that thing like geting a shot over and over i freaked out I was fighting am kicking so bad that it took 3 MPs to hold me down while 2 wraped me in a bedsheet and then the 5 MPs held my body down while my parents held my head in place to the docter could stiches a 6 year olds chin with a 1/2 inch gash. i remember seeing his hand with the neddle going up and and down up and down i was in terror but thats all i remember. when i was starting first grade we moved to a house in boulders at geist and in this house that i will allways call home

i was born in alabama the only one in all my family on any side to be born south of anderson IN my morther was a bartender and my father was a tanker in the army they met while my mother was working the bar and my father put a straw he was chewing on in an ashtray amd my mother said you know what pisses me off adn he said not as if i care but what she said ppl that but there god damn straws in the ashtrays then she picked it up dumped it and slamed it down on the bar and that one encounter started the events that lead me here my mother and father dated for 6 months i am not sure then they got marry and move to fort rucker AL from lacross WI and about 8 months later i was born i dont know much of my frist few years but only know what i was told and i was told my on febuary 8th 1987 my mother water broke and my father would not get out of bed and after 2 hours of hey wake up and him saying i am up and falling back down my grandma said get up now or we are leaving without you and he got up adn i was born was through a C-section because i fliped around so many times the docter said screw it gave up and cut her open and ripped me out and sewed her back up and that was my birth

i wave to the boy i wisper "good bye" he said 'take this toy it was a favorite of mine' i reply "no it cant go with me it is not allowed to be" he cried 'why not i dont want to be forgot' "nor shall you i say i will see you every day" he said 'no i will fade away with every step laid' "i must go there is no choice" 'yes there is we have a voice' "no WE dont YOU do I dont" 'you dont or you wont' 'we can fight it' "but fight what, fight with whom?" 'the world, me and you' "we cant. just forget it" "i must go now i love you good bye" i turned to leave the lil boy cried 'i hate you' i looked back to the mirroir and said "so do i" i wave the crying boy good bye

hear me now see me now watch as i walk without fear and with only hope for this is the road on which i can't turn back this road is my life if we ever do meet over the crossroads of our lives i will be there with open hands and wings on my back when we part fear life not for god walks with you since your start he walks behind you to catch you when you fall because he who is horned tries to push you back while you my walk onward down life toward your joyfull rest remember me for i have left you not i have ran on ahead to fight him back so you may be unafraid for he is at bay rest well earthly angel for your earth angel is near