Ok I am 18, I had just graduated 5 mins ago. My cousin J.M. tells me about his friend Brians grad party in Brazil, Indiana. I get permisson to go under the following three conditions. One don't drink. Two be back in time for my party the next day. Three don't drink. I said ok and we were gone. One hour and a half later we are in Brazil. Now Brazil is like the boondocks of Indiana. I even think I heard dueling banjos as we drove through town. So, We get to Brian's and I am told we, J.M. Brian and I, have to go pick up J.M.'s other friend. I am going to call this guy Ben because I forgot his name. We go pick up Ben in Brian's P.O.S. car. We get there. We get him. We start to come back. Brian says you guys want to take the short cut. We all agree. So, Brian takes a right onto the old dirt road. Now the ONLY way this road is faster is because there are no cops on this road. So Brian guns it. Now we were going so fast I was getting scared, The car is Jumping on the road. I say jumping because there are little hills that we go flying off on to the next one. After the first jump, I look over from the back seat and see that we are going 90 MPH. I am realy scared now. After the last Jump I hear the car bottom out. Brian then goes UH! OH! I say what. Brian said shit I spilt my coke. Here, danny hold this. I lean over and Brian PASSES THE GOD DAMN STEERING WHEEL BACK TO ME. I Scream "WHAT THE FUCK! DUDE PUT IT BACK! PUT IT BACK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT IT BACK. I basicly threw the steering wheel at him and said "We are all going to die!" Brians pops the wheel back on. Now if you think I was over reacting keep in mind we were still going 90 MPH threw that whole thing! We get back to Brian's house I get out the before he even stoped all the way and say I am never fucking riding with you again. J.M. said bullshit you did the same thing on the way here. Now in my defence yeah I was going 85 on the highway. I was moving my car back and forth making a tire or two leave the ground for a sec. Maybe I did left the back wheels drift make that last turn on to Brian's street, But I in noway took the wheel off the car and put it in the back seat! I alway had complete control of my car. But anyway I stop freaking out and I forget about it. J.M. and hit the gas station for smokes.
Its starts getting dark and people start coming by the time we get back. I am introduced to a bunch out ppl i dont remeber except for Danni. Danni is a big girl with near ugly face, Now Danni is the reason for everything that follows. I got a hot dog and J.M. takes my keys hands the to Brians dad gets me a beer, keep in mind every one there is under 18, Now the way I drink normaly is the way other people chug. so I start to drink the beer, and I dont know what happened in the bottle but it start shooting out of the bottle faster and faster for some reason I choked on some. Danni sees and asks whats wrong. I proceed to tell her that i never drank before and I didnt know that it could put itself under pressure like that. she then laughs and in the the most condescending tone I have ever heard. she called me a Greenhorn and something about I cant drink like the rest of them. I don't say anything. but in my head i think Thats its i have had enough. I am going to out drink, out party,and be the last one to pass out. I from here on out I have a hot dog every time I have a beer or shot. so I was pissed and I had a two more beers and hot dogs and I found out I get happy when I drink. so I have one more beer and dog and now I have to pee, but I can't walk that well infact i wouldn't even call what I did walking! I would point my body to somewhere and stand up lean forward. My body did this running fall that by the time I got there. I was almost on the ground. I would start over getting closer and closer to where I wanted to go. I got there went pee no problems. I get back outside and Danni yells out time for shots. I think I can't say I out drank them if I don't do shots too. So I stumble on down there grab a lawn chair and sit down. In order to prove they had nothing on me. I drank a whole beer after every shot and ate a hot dog. now we did 7 shots and woah I was gone. At this time the 4 beers I had earlier were all hiting me. Something put this bright idea of getting the cape I had in my trunk out. oh yeah i was cold. Why did I have a cape you ask. Thats whole other story but the nothing tells the cops your making things up when you say he was wearing a cape. lol but back to this story I put on the cape and join the party again. someone asked what I was doing with the cape and my smart ass had only one thing to say. "I AM UBERMAN!" and I ran in a circle going whoosh and stop and sung Here I come to fuck up you daaaaay. Then I leapt over the fire to get another beer and a dog. i finished that and the music was going and dang it. I was in the mood to dance. So I did and now I am drunk anyway other people start to dance to then I wanted to dance with someone so I asked the girls on the patio to dance they said no then I asked brian if he wanted to in the if girls can dance with each other and not be gay why can't 2 guys. brian was drunk to so he said yeah and we dance and moshed and jumped around and the shots and beers hit me and I fell. I then get up and go sit by Danni. And then I found that beer doesn't make people better looking it just make the idea of having sex with them better. now here i am sitting next to Danni and I start thinking hell i am alot better looking than danni there is no way I am not losing my virginity tonight. then I turn to danni and look her straight in her blue eyes and I say Hell No! Danni says "what are you talking about. Why would you say hell no when no body was talking to you." I said didn't you just ask if i was a vegan" she said no i thought shit i didnt mean to say that out loud but then Brian declared it time to mud wreasle and I was like hell yeah it is this is the best party ever! So brian gets these two girls to stand in the kiddie pool filled fill mud and water. They start going at it. We are all cheering . Brian runs and jumps in. I gasp and think oh hell yeah Me too. I start to do my stumble thing but I am so far gone I trip and slide into the side of the pool. I get hit with the Ice cold freezeing mud and think hell no those fuckers are crazy I am out. I go get another beer and a dog and have a seat by the fire to dry off. they finish its now time for swiming in the normal pool hell yeah we all head toward the pool J.M. helps me walk. We get there and no one has a suit we start talking about what to do. Then all of the sudden this huge fat guy come running out of the house throught the crowd and jumps in the pool bare ass naked. thats settled it skinny dipping is in. The guys minus the guy in the pool go in side while the girls get in and the pool. the guys strip down to boxers and head out and remove after hoping in i was in there all off 5 mins before I was forced out becuase I was turning purple with blue lips. I felt fine but i hoped out got dressed grabed a beer and sat by the fire. Then I found the bottle of rum we did shots with and had the most dangers idea I have ever had. I started pouring the beer and the rum in my mouth at the same time. For every half mouth full of beer the was a half mouth full of rum. This for about 3 mins before every one was cold and wanted to go inside. I crawled my way up there stand up use the wall for support and head inside with the rumm in one and and a few beers in the other. I found this barstool and had to climb to get in it becuase the seat was a good 6 inchs above my waist. open a beer and the rum and keep going . now they are cutting the cake i just sit there with my beer and rum when i find out that when you get really fucked up the room does not spin. you just can't keep your head up for moe than a second so it starts rolling out your shoulders. now a smart man would have said thats enought its time to stop. but noope not me I was not a smart man I was a man on mission. so I sat there and I drank three more beers with the beer in one hand and the rum in the other and my head rolling on my shoulder. I was timing my drinking so that when my head rolled back to drink and when it rolled forward to breath. i dont know how long i was there for but I soon ran out of rum. so i turned around and everyone was asleep and all the light were off and the sun was coming up. I thought whos the green horn now. lol but the I realized I don't know how do get off the barstool. so I finished my beer thinking about I am going to get down. I decided that the best course of action would be to jump off. so I stand on the stool and jump/fall off i crawl 2 feet and decide this is the best place to sleep. I passed out
Now for the aftermath, I wake upon the floor wraped in a blanket thinking where did the come from? I know damn well I didn't get this myself. so I got up and thought I stabed myself in the head now this would have been one killer hangover except for the fact after sleeping 3 hours. I was still drunk. I was dehydrated. and the best part I just started to enter Alcohol Poisoning. how do I know you ask. well thats a good question. You know your in the first stage of Alcohol Poisoning when you have trouble breathing look like your grampa was a smurf( lol kinda blueish skintone) did I alert anyone you say. Nope I sure didn't becuase I my body does this awesome thing before I throw up the sliava gland in my cheeks start to pour out sliava i know its not a "I think I am going to throw up" it is a "can i make it to the bathroom if i start running now". I was so glad i made it to the bathroom. with in the first 5 mins I throw maybe 6 times pretty much emptied my of the food beer and rum but that didnt stop my body from trying to punish me. after the food was bile. that only lasted a min before I empty but that didnt stop my body from trying to vomit the alcohol from my blood. for the next 4 hours all I did was dry heave. I was lucky to make it 30 seconds before i did it again. and EVERY SINGLE TIME it felt like I was being stabbed and the knife was being twisted. I really felt like i was being stab i was in panic mood but i could not leave i was scared i was going to throw up blood. I started praying,with tears down my face, to god to make it stop. and once i finished the prayer thanking him for doing this to me so that I might learn to never to this again. I threw up more bile but it only felt like I was being stab no twisting. so i started doing it a again and more bile now I could now finish that prayer but every third for forth time. but for the next 3 1/2 hours I prayed and I prayed and every time I asked for him to help me he did. (oh and it only worked if i did the prayer in mormon format thats how I know the church is true and also why I have never give my testament becuase is I am pretty sure they well get mad at me lol.)any way my cousin drove me to his house on the i said that was awesome and then I vomited on the side of the road got to his house my anut patty gave me a sheild shaped pink pill and I slept for 12 hours missed my party hand the hangover for three days. 3 hours to remeber and write down