it's so funny. every time i want to blog, i can't, and when i can, i don't want to. i really wish it had thunderstormed tonight. i'm driving now. i love the freedom, but sometimes it's really frustrating. i think i made a turn from the wrong turn lane the other day. it wasn't a big deal because i was the only one moving, everyone else had a stop light, but hm. everyone has their few mistakes once in awhile ... but it feels like the further i move away from God, the more this monster in me comes out, this "i'm a perfectionist, a worrier ... i'm going to eat myself alive" kind of thing. humanity is miserable, and God is so good. so why do i play hide-and-go-seek?? it's so CRAZY to be graduating and having my own time. i think it will only be like this for a few months, but then again ... maybe not. anyways, i need to count the days/make the days count. went to mand's graduation today. that was great. sat by al. that was super too. i think i may go work on putting graduation party stuff together, getting the last few invites addressed, and writing the thank-you notes i owe while i remember them. i'm thinking of making this, again, only open to friends, because there are a lot of weirdos out there. then again, maybe i've just watchted too much Crossing Jordan and CSI for the night. we'll see. it won't be 'till my next entry to two, which may be awhile. point? i don't want to cut anyone off from reading this ... so if you do read this, don't have an account, and want to keep doing so ... create an account and RE to this. i'll add you to the friends list, and it'll all be good. pax.