I know you want me to want you, I want to. My back is killing me, and there is still so much left to do. This ache will be over soon, and my excitement is clouded with anxiety. Hold on, hold on, to the ones you love. I don't understand a lot of things. There is often no explanation for my behaviors, you need to understand that. Maybe I really am losing control. I need control. There's no comfort in the waiting room. To be honest with the world, I am afraid of so many things. The list grows every day, spilling over the corners of my mind. I am strong, right? Maybe I simply exist. And you will take the breath from my throat.