ALABAMA: Yes, we have electricity. ALASKA: 11,623 eskimos can't be wrong. ARIZONA: But it's a dry heat. ARKANSAS: Litterasy ain't everything. CALIFORNIA: Our women have more plastic than your Honda. COLORADO: If you don't ski, don't bother. CONNECTICUT: Like Massachusetts, only the Kennedys don't own it yet. DELAWARE: We really do like the chemicals in our water. FLORIDA: Ask us about our Grandkids. GEORGIA: We put the fun in fundamentalist extremism. HAWAII: Haka tiki mou sha'ami leeki toru. (Death to mainland scum, but leave your money.) IDAHO: More than just potatoes .. well okay, we're not, but the potatoes are real good. ILLINOIS: Please don't pronounce the 's'. INDIANA: 2 billion years tidal wave free. IOWA: We do amazing things with corn. KANSAS: First of the rectangle states. KENTUCKY: Five million people, fifteen last names. LOUISIANA: We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign. MAINE: We're really cold but we have cheap lobster. MARYLAND: If you can dream it, we can tax it. MASSACHUSETTS: Our taxes are lower than Sweden's (for most tax brackets) MICHIGAN: First line of defence from the Canadians. MINNESOTA: 10,000 lakes and 10,000,000 mosquitos. MISSISSIPPI: Come feel better about your own state. MISSOURI: Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work. MONTANA: Land of the big sky, the unabomber, right-wing crazies, and very little else. NEBRASKA: Ask about our state motto contest. NEVADA: Whores and poker. NEW HAMPSHIRE: Go away and leave us alone. NEW JERSEY: You want a #^$@&$ motto? I got your %#$^@ motto right here! NEW MEXICO: Lizards make excellent pets. NEW YORK: You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney. NORTH CAROLINA: Tobacco is a vegetable. NORTH DAKOTA: We really are one of the fifty states. OHIO: At least we're not Michigan. OKLAHOMA: Like the play, only no singing. OREGON: Spotted owl .. it's what's for dinner. PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with coal. RHODE ISLAND: We're not really an island. SOUTH CAROLINA: Remember the cival war? We didn't actually surrender. SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota. TENNESSEE: The educashun state. TEXAS: Si, hablo Inglis (Yes, I speak English.) UTAH: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus. VERMONT: Yep. VIRGINIA: Who says government stiffs and slackjaw yokels don't mix? WASHINGTON: Help! We're overrun by nerds and slackers! WASHINGTON DC: Hey - wanna be mayor? WEST VIRGINIA: One big happy family .. really. WISCONSIN: Come cut the cheese. WYOMING: Where men are men .. and the sheep are scared!