i am realizing that i'm not a good person. i used to think i was different. i used to think that i wasn't cliche. i used to think that i was a good friend. i used to think that i was caring. but i'm not. and now i hate myself. today in second period, they were talking bad about kat. the whole time i kept thinking 'i'm gonna regret saying anything...stfu hannah' but i didn't stop them and i contributed to the shit talking. not too much, but enough to make me a bad person. then in study hall, i wrote a letter to a boy and i put some jack's mannequin lyrics in it. then magga and hwa read the lyrics and kept teasing me. first off, it was a song-i didn't mean anything by it and we both know that. second off, i didn't want the other kids in that class to start any shit about me and that boy. but i felt bad. cause ultimately, i DO kinda like that boy. i didn't mean anything by the lyrics, but idk. i srsly need a vacation from life. i need to just go back to the beach and stay there by myself for 3 days. i need to clear my head and try to figure out who i am again... cause it's no fun hating yourself. gag.