you called yesterday to basically say that you care for me but that you're just not in love immediatly i pretended to be feeling similary and led you to believe i was okay to just walk away from the one thing that's unyielding and sacred to me well, i guess im trying to be nonchalant about it and im going to extremes to prove im fine without you but in reality im slowly loosing my mind underneath the guise of a smile gradually im dying inside friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly cause i dont want to reveal that fact that im suffering so i wear my disguise until i go home at night and turn down all the lights and then i break down and cry so what do you do when somebody youre so devoted to suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they havent got a clue of the pain that rejection is putting you through do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive" do you lash out and say: "How dare you leave this way" do you hold on in vain as they just slip away well, i guess im trying to be nonchalant about it and im going to extremes to prove im fine without you but in reality im slowly loosing my mind underneath the guise of a smile gradually im dying inside friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly cause i dont want to reveal that fact that im suffering so i wear my disguise until i go home at night and turn down all the lights and then i break down and cry every new day is a test for me, so i just pray the Lord for Him to bless me, please. theres struggles im going through lately, breaks me down, set me free. let me be. let me be. who else do i have to rely on? whose shoulder can i go cry on? can i get my vibe on? while you look into my eyes, you wont underestimate, and this soldier story, ima tell you right now im fed up. wrong if i let my lead bust? hard to keep your head up. dont let this world get the best of you, im a stress you through it, if its over, over, over. dont breakdown yet, its over. well, i guess im trying to be nonchalant about it and im going to extremes to prove im fine without you but in reality im slowly loosing my mind underneath the guise of a smile gradually im dying inside friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly cause i dont want to reveal that fact that im suffering so i wear my disguise until i go home at night and turn down all the lights and then i break down and cry I DONT GET HIM....AM I SUPPOSED TO BE HIS FUCKING GIRL TOY??????? DOES HE COME TO ME WHEN HE'S FUCKING HORNY?! DOES HE EVEN LIKE ME?! WHAT IS GOING ON?! WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!?!?! AND UGHHHHHH :( * :'(