There's a sense of closure now. I love her. That's a given. It's a different kind of love than it used to be; it's a friendship. It isn't lovers. It isn't husband and wife...it's just love for my fellow person. I don't know why, but I feel some kind of closure from this -- there's a huge weight off of both of our shoulders now. I don't feel so depressed. I mean, I kind of do since I obviously lost something dear to me, but then I understand that I've not lost anything. It's just changed into something else. I'm sad to say these things. At the same time I'm happy. My life is still confused. but then, whose life isn't? Why do I lie to myself? I do love her. I can't stop. It is the same.