my summer to do list. . . - drive in movie - tarot cards/palm reading - folklorama - skinny dipping ;) - strawberry picking - Sal's on the bridge [done] thx sebastian =) - the zoo! - bowling - baked expectations - tattoo? I don't know, I'm pretty chicken. - dal's more shall be added later

This is it... we're graduating in a week and a half. After 13 years spent in sheltered schools, we are expected to be responsible for ourselves. We've spent the majority of our lives within a classroom and now it is our time to venture out into this big world. All throughout junior high and my last three years of high school I could not wait to graduate. This past year has been completely different. The realization of life after high school has hit me. I will no longer see all the same faces as I did for the past years. The classroom dynamic will be lost as University is a whole new ball game. I will no longer get to sit in the foyer and talk to people who have spares or to those who go to the "bathroom." All these things seemed so regular and now it’s no more... These past few years have brought on some major realizations to everyone. As to who your true friends really are and who you really are. There has been some major drama throughout the years but in the end it’s really insignificant and the person you became of it is what’s really matters. I can only hope that everyone made the best of these high school years because these were the years that really counted. We’ve grown up so much from those little delinquents, to teeny boppers to adults? Wow. I guess all I can say now is Good Luck and Best Wishes to the Grads of ‘06. But I’m sure I’ll see all of you at Rum. =) lol. Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... And even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter Cause these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives... Our Lives- The Calling

I'm bored and I just started thinking. . . 1. Why are the young ones these days trying so much to be so much older than they really are? They must think it's so "cool" to act and appear like the adults. They should be enjoying their youth. Enjoying this time they have to goof around and play house and have it be socially acceptable. You're only a child for a few years and then you enter adulthood and that's it. You're an adult until you die. Why hurry to be something you'll be for what I hope would be a long time. Kids these days should be living it up and having fun being kids cause it's only going to last a few years. 2. Why is everything so sexual these days? Almost anything you see has sexual innuendo. It's rather sad how sex is the #1 selling tactic. What kind of a world is this? 3. Why are girls so slutty? Why do they insist on parading around with their boobs spilling out of their shirt. It's really not attractive. The only reason I can come up with for why girls do that is to get guys attention, and that's extremely sad. Do you not have a brain? [This is not directed to anyone specifically] Can you not capture a guys attention with words? Must you expose yourself completely? There are some guys out there who do prefer a nice intellectual conversation as opposed to being disgusted because a girl is walking around half naked. And why is it such a big thing to get guys attention? Sure, it may be nice once in a while but can't you make yourself feel good some other way? 4. And for those of you who insist on taking provacative photos and plastering them all over the internet. Please stop. It's disturbing and just plain nasty. I suppose this connects with rant #3. Clearly these photos are taken to capture the male's attention. And what type of males are you capturing? The creepy, stalker-perverts. Lucky you! 5. I don't want to touch too much on this subject but what's up with sex? It seems like it's the "in thing" right now. Just a few years ago, sex was like taboo and now it's nothing out of the ordinary. Little 13 year olds are doing it. What the hell? From what I've noticed a lot of relations are kind of based on this. If you do it, your relationships good and if you don't do it, you'll last 2 months- 3 months tops! 6. Why is this world so conceited? It's all about our appearance. It's like some people will only converse with others if they're attractive or if they dress "nicely". True beauty is skin deep. And it's sad how some people out there will totally snub a not so good looking person who has an amazing personality for a "hot" person with the rudest attitude. I just don't know. . . Now no one get mad at me or go around saying I'm a hypocrit by saying these things. I'm not saying I'm discluded from these things cause I've probably fallen into 1 or 2 of these topics. I just really wonder about people. I'd like to understand why people do the things they do.[Hm, perhaps I have psychology in my future.] If you disagree with what I've said okay and if you agree great. Leave comments if you'd like.

Life it seems, will fade away Drifting further everyday Getting lost within myself Nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free Things not what they used to be Missing one inside of me Deathly loss this can't be real Can't stand this hell i feel Emptiness is filling me To the point of agony Growing darkness taking dawn I was me, but now he's gone No one but me can save myself, but it's too late Now I can't think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye -- Metallica. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. . . --- One hit right after the other. Can't catch a break. Why me?. . .

I'm waiting for Gilmore Girls, which is in 17 minutes. So I haven't written here in a while. School's the same I guess. I have a 51% in pre-cal. =/ Damnit. It's not so much that I don't understand, because I do for the most part. I'm just lazy when it comes to doing my homework. I need drill it into my head. Bio's slack as usual. I can't stand English. I dread going to that class and I just don't do my work. So, Baby K should be here in a month and a week! She's safe to come out in a week and a half though. Seeing's how she's still breech, I don't think she'll be coming out quite yet. I still can't believe it sometimes. I'm going to be an auntie. . . && my seestar's going to be a mommy?! Crazy but it's very exciting. I have my second interview tomorrow. I hope it goes well. As if I've actually had an interview. This already is big for me. Cause well, I've been a spoiled brat. =P I honestly didn't expect a call. Hm, will I finally be able to say "I have to work"? Hm, in a few days I should know. I really hope it does not snow tomorrow. I would rather not drive in the snow, thanks very much. I need a jacket! && mittens! My hands have been freezing for the past few days, even when I'm inside. But yes, Gilmore Girls will be on in 7 minutes. I need to get a beverage and get myself situated.

To all of you who are at The Used concert right now. Damn you! I'm ever so jealous. If only I had been here during the summer. Anyways. . . I thought it was time for another update. That and I need a break from homework. School's been alright so far. Pre-cal isn't too bad. I'm getting most of it but there's a few things I need to go over and lock in my brain. I hope to God I get at least a 60%. English is fine. We've been doing the same thing everyday. Bio is just a joke. We all sit in our groups talking to one another while Mrs. Page talks about who knows what. TCU is kind of on the boring side. These next 3 weeks will be advertising for jobs & then interviewing. I just want to open the bank already. My mother comes home on Tuesday. I'm finally going to see her after 3 months. I wonder what she bought me =P if anything considering I was there for 2 months. I went to St. Vital earlier with Joel cause I was craving Starbucks & he needed a book for english. The weirdest thing happened when I got home. I pulled into my drive way and all of a sudden this dog comes running around my car and just stands by my door staring at me. I'm thinking "where the hell did this dog come from?" I honked the horn thinking it would run away but nope, it just stood there staring at me! I didn't want to open my door. It did a few laps around my car and then my seestar's car and then came back by my door to stare at me some more. I then turned off my headlights when it finally ran away. It was so weird. Well that's my story for the day. Nighty night!

Semester 1 A Band: Math Pre-Cal- Ball B Band: Biolgoy- Page C Band: English Comp- Martens Lunch: Money & Management- Wilde D Band: Spare E Band: Spare Semester 2 A Band: Spare B Band: Chemistry- Romu C Band: Math Consumer- Ball Lunch: Money & Management- Wilde D Band: Spare E Band: Spare

Well, school started yesterday. I enjoyed yesterday very much. Yesterday consisted of me registering then driving around with Brittany & Matt. We took turns driving because Matt's lazy. =P I enjoy this double spare business in the afternoon. So today I actually had classes to go to. Pre-cal makes me want to cry! Mrs. Ball is scaring me. I probably shouldn't have dropped my second english but too late now. I have to get my act together this year and get at least a 60%. Shouldn't be that hard, right? Ehh. Bio was fun. I'm sitting with the same people as last year at the same table. Now, why would Mrs. Page do such a thing? -- Jenn loves dragons! I don't know where that came from. . . Anyways, then there was English. Stupid verb & adjective. Me & Britt are so alone in that class. We're voting for the President and such for TCU tomorrow. I would like to be Vice-President but I don't know if I'll get the votes because the other people seem to be buddy buddy with one another and I only have Matt. I guess we'll see. Baby K kicked really hard today. I saw her. It was rather creepy. Apparently she moves around so much sometimes that my seestar's belly shakes.Weird. . . I feel really dorky but Hedley-- they're a band, is coming to Winnipeg on October 5 and I would really like to go. It's at the West End Cultural Center though. =/ I don't like that. The guy in the band, Jacob was from Canadian Idol-- last year I think. I need to ponder this some more.

My internet's been messed the whole day. It's such a piss off. It's not normally like this. I miss Ella! I keep looking at pictures of her and it makes me sad. My mom's over there right now. She won't be back til the 20th. I haven't seen her since I left. I'm sad because I can't dye my hair without bleaching it. =( I guess I'm stuck with this blackness. I'm in desperate need of a hair cut. Perhaps I'll do that on Saturday. My seestar is gigantic. Yes. Her belly's really hard. You can actually see Baby K moving about inside of her. It's rather creepy. I can see her kick and somersault. Weird. . . Well, I really have nothing to talk about. Bye. P.S. I need a job. . . Help!

So, it's my last day in Seattle. I don't return to Winnipeg 'til Sunday but I'm off to Vancouver tomorrow. I've been running around all over the place trying to get everything done and now I've got a headache. Ouch. I screwed up my braces yesterday, oops. Stupid chocolate chips. I really hope they come off soon. I'm getting very antsy. I think I'm going to go sleep. . .

I'm having issues with my hair. I don't know whether to dye it or not. Mainly because I had dyed my hair black in December so the new color may not work. I bought light golden brown and dark soft brown. (I can always exchange them if need be) I was thinking of using the lighter dye first and then the darker one. I'm not sure how well that will work though. And I would really rather not bleach my hair. I'm sick of black hair right now. Well, it's not completely black, there's a few brown spots. HELP! I don't know what to do. . .

I started packing some things last night. I looked around my room and I have a feeling not everything will fit into my 2 luggages and backpack. =/ One of my luggages is going to be filled with food like cookies, chocolate and candy. I'm terrible. I love packing. =) Friends, when I get back we should all go out for dessert! I'm in need of my Winnipeg sweets. We went to the Chocolate Factory on Wednesday night. It was super nice there. I got myself a chocolate tuxedo cheesecake. It was pretty good. I still miss my oreo cheesecake. It was nice though cause there was a lot of whipped cream. School's starting way too soon. I just hope this school year doesn't go by as quickly as this summer did. I don't want high school to end. I'm going to be forced to grow up. =P As of right now, Baby K's breech. She better pull a 180 before November or that'll suck for my seestar. 8 days then I'm off to Vancouver and 9 days til I'm home. =)

I'll see you guys in 14 days and counting. . . I Miss Home! && I really need a job!

It's been a month since I had my Starbucks, not cool. I only have 7 dollars American left. =/ I desperately need to exchange some Canadian. I went shopping yesterday and I had to get my cousin to buy me a sweater cause I didn't have enough. Who knows, maybe I'll be lucky and she won't make me pay her back. =P I bought so much chocolate and cookies to bring back to Winnipeg. I'm surprised I haven't eaten it all. I'm not even sure everything I bought is going to fit in my 2 luggages. Baby K will be here in 3 months, hopefully less than that. My seestar sent me pictures of her. She's huge for someone that size! I want my schedule! I'm hoping I don't have to change it that much. I don't even remember which classes I signed up for. Pre-cal's going to be hell. Greeaaat

Ella and I. Happy Birthday Dirty Girl!-- a.k.a Ashley I can't believe it's already August. Time's going by too fast. I just hope it slows down a bit because I don't want to speed right through grade 12. I want it to go slowly cause I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself once high school's over. I hate thinking about it. 26 days til I come home. I can't wait. I was so excited to come here, to the point I was counting down the days from 100. Now, I can't wait to go back home. I'm so very homesick. I haven't been away from my family for this long before. I think the longest I've been away is about a week or two. But I guess this is a good experience for me. I've learnt that Winnipeg really is my home. No matter how much I complain about it when I'm there, being here really makes me miss it. Am I crazy? Perhaps I'm just really drowsy, making me irrational. I never would have thought I'd miss Winnipeg. First of all, Seattle's bus system is quite strange. There's "free areas" and there's different zones where you have to pay more. You also have to pay more during certain hours. Oh, and depending on when you're catching the bus, you either pay when you get on or when you get off. It's a wee bit too hilly for me here. Some streets are really full of rubbish and it's gross. Also, the houses are really mixed together here. You could have a really new developed home right beside a shack of a home. Maybe it's just the area I'm staying in, I don't know. People here are crazy drivers. Their streets are weird too. And some streets are just a free for all. I also don't like their street lights. They're not in the center of the street, they're on the sides. It makes them difficult to see. But maybe it's not so bad once you're used to them. I had a few more complaints about this city that I've forgotten for now. Oh, well. Well that's enough of me ranting. I am on a super tight budget for the rest of the month. It's absolutely ridiculous. I don't know how I'm going to manage. It helps a little bit though that most of my money is still in Canadian, that way I can't spend it just yet. I did buy hair dye yesterday. 2 for $5! I'm still unsure though if my hair will actually take the color. I'm hoping so. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see a lot of brown in my hair. Maybe it's just me though. I'm hoping my braces will be off before school starts. The chances of that though are pretty slim since I start school 10 days after I get back. I have hope though. Well I think I've rambled on enough. Byeee. P.S. ugly layout, i know.

[8] Lonely, I'm Mrs. lonely, I have no body, for my own. Oooh! [8] Anyways. . . I want to be back in Winnipeg. I feel like I'm missing out and that it'll be weird when I get back. I'm going to know nothing about what's happened to everyone this summer. =( Awh, I miss everyone! 1 more month! =) I MISS OREO CHEESECAKE & WHITE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE! =( -- Someone Fedex me some. =P

My seestar just sent me pictures of her belly. Awh, she's huge. I miss her. I miss everyone back in Winnipeg. I've been feeling homesick a lot. Only 5 more weeks. . . Money's tight, but I'm managing. I have a strict budget that I need to stick to. Actually, it's not so much that money's tight, it's that the things I want are pricey, other wise I'd be fine. I'm not allowing myself to spend anymore money til August. =/ Wow, Ella's difficult sometimes. She likes being carried 24/7. We're trying to get her out of that by just letting her cry on the ground. It's sad to see her cry though. I always end up picking her up. She's starting to stand up. We were sitting by the window earlier today and she rested her cheek on mine. It was so cute. I can't wait for Baby K. Only 3 and a half months. =) I'm going to have a lot of sleepless nights. =/ Actually, now that I think about it, maybe not. Ella apparently cries really loud at night and I sleep right through it. And our rooms are right beside one another. So, I should be fine with Baby K. Keyword being should. We'll probably do a little shopping tomorrow or Thursday. I won't be buying anything. Oh that's going to be difficult. I hope we don't go to Alderwood or else I'll be forced to use my money cause we may not go back there. Well, I'm going to go play with Ella and her xylophone--it's so cool. Byeee dorks, and I say that with love. =)

Oh man. I'm officially done shopping. I went a little crazy yesterday. Well, it wouldn't be as bad if I was in Winnipeg because I have and endless supply of money there. Mammabear's debit. =) But since I'm here, I'm limited. I have a really tight budget. I'm leaving my money at home from now on. My cousin here has been baking up a storm. I'm enjoying it. Such yummy food. I'm going to be so fat when I come home. As for next year, I'm nerding, dorking, geeking it up completely! No more slacking for me. Although I said that last year, I will try my damnest. =P I'm scared for pre-cal. =/ I hope I can get my schedule the way I want it. I just hope the classes I'm taking are offered in the A.M. I forget if I signed up for biology and I'm thinking I need it. I'm still not sure what I'm doing after high school. There's a possibility I'll do the radiation therapy or medical radiologic technology at Red River. I'm kind of disappointed in myself I guess because I always saw myself going to some University and getting a degree. I haven't decided for sure yet but this is a strong possibility right now. If not radiation therapy, then maybe accounting? But other than that, I've got nothing. Baby K will be here in 3 and a half months. =) I'm going to go eat some more now. =P

I went for a little walk today and when I came home I was absolutely exhausted. It was rather pathetic actually. As I was walking into Rite-Aid, this guy walks behind me and around to my front and looks me in the face and he's like "damn girl." =/ My people here are honest and have no shame. No shame eh Britt V. I was looking at Ella earlier and she was reminding me so much of my auntie. She kind of looked like her with her hair parted to the side. It made me rather sad. I just know my auntie would have loved to see this little chubs. She would have flown down here, maybe even move here if her condition allowed her to. She would have spoiled her only grand daughter with fancy toys and pretty clothes. Sadly, Ella will never get the chance to know her grandma and how amazing she was. All she'll have are our stories. Almost 5 years and it still hurts like hell. . .

I just got back a little while ago from shopping & dropping my cousin off at the airport. I finally get my room back. I bought a belt & a necklace that I regreted buying but when I came back home, I find money in my room for me. =) So it's like I didn't even spend any money at all. Oh man, I feel so fat. =/ I can't stop eating. I just finished eating this chocolate cake. It was so sweet. I'm going to come back home a fat cow. To be continued. . .