how can you love someone else when you can't even love yourself? i've come to the conclusion that i'm damned. no matter what i do- nothing will ever possibly be good in my eyes. my heart is ripping apart. because i know what i have to do. the first time i got sober i had to make a lot of sacrifices-- mark, he can't be a sacrifice. it wouldn't be worth it to be sober and not have him. &he doesn't want to be sober.. and here comes the question -i'm not sure if i want to be sober either. i know that i don't like the rate we're at now. i dont want to be a lazy bum- smoking everyday. drinking only causes problems- we can't do that a lot. i don't know what to do--- christ./