So something in me has decided to not give up, for some reason, to improve myself, even though the only person worth doing it for is me. That's a good thing actually. I have more weight to lose, obveously. I'm going to see how much weight I can lose in a week by following the pro-ana antics, just to see how right on these stupid anorexoHo's are. It might be an interesting experiment. I'm sick and tired of teenage antics. I'm sick of waking up every day with the same bullshit issues, I'm sick of waking up every day feeling like shit. I'm sick of trying to make myself pretty and failing. I'm sick of caring about people who do not give two shits about me. I'm sick of pretending. I'm sick of pretending that i'm not worth anything, because, as of now, I am. I am worth what I do with myself and in the end this fucking stupid transitional period will not matter at all. I will not care about being sixteen and I will not care about graduating high school and I will not care about having shitty clothes and I will not care about surrounding myself with the wrong people and I will not care that I was just another booty call. I will care about being thirty and my occupation and my material goods and the family that will make me happy and the friends that I will have replaced the old ones with and the lover that I chose to have.