Every once in a while, I deserve to go off on a tangent. I am PROUD of myself for getting to this point, but even more so, I am DISSAPPOINTED that I fucked up halfway through the game. I understand that I am UPSET because of the robbery last week, and I truly believe I have license to do so. But my diet has suffered because of it. I think that that's terrible. I have lowered down my intake to 900 calories a day plus a workout as many days as possible, i'm hoping that that will soon do some kind of differnece. I have Rocky Horror tryouts on Sunday, and I am SO EXITED for it, but I feel like I look like shit. I feel gross. I am COMPLIMENTED because everyone keeps taking notice to the tremendous weight loss that has accumulated to 25 pounds, but I know I need more improvement, I want to be 127 and feel good around the waist. I know that losing weight will do nothing for my ugly face, but at least I will feel a little bit better about my body as a part of me. I SYMPATHIZE with all the famous stars that get caught up into eating disorders, same as anorexic girls, because it's true, once someone compliments you enough you feed off of it instead of actual food. I'm HAPPY i'm on an actual diet and eating in a healthy fashion because If I wasn't I would probably be eating very little and doing everything I could to compensate for the remaining weight. I'm happy I don't. I'm also GLAD that I wrote this, it makes me feel like I can cope. I HOPE that tomorrow I will be able to continue along with the diet, off with the distraction of today and the 2 dinners (large sigh: muffin for breakfast, chicken rwrap for lunch, soup, turkey wrap and crackers for supper 1, then 2 cereal bars, THEN a grilled cheese and 2 more soups, oh my god. It's gross, I know). Eurgh. Eurgh. Eurgh. I am CONFIDENT that it will get better.