So I don't think that I am coming back to this. But there is just this thing nagging in my head. And I don't want to talk to anyone about it, because it will just be annoying to them. So I told myself I wouldn't like people. That I didn't believe in liking people. All that stuff. And then he happened. Most people know the story of how he got drunk and said I'm cute and begged me to come to Olivia's house (which I didn't) so I will just leave that summary for the people who don't know. The morning after he got my cellphone number and apologized. I was happy and excited about that, but figured that would be the end of conversing with him. But it wasn't. Randomly I would get text messages from him where he would say peculiar things. Just last week he sent me 90 text messages. (Which means I probably sent just about 90 to him, too.) But the problems with him?: -He's 18. -He has a girlfriend. And you know, I knew all this the whole time. But then last night, Olivia had to leave to get picked up by the guy she likes and him and she expained that he would go off and 'do stuff' with his girlfriend while she hung out with the boy she fancies. And it hit me. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. And he just texts me for who knows what reason. But he doesn't like me. And he never will. Because he loves his girlfriend. And I know people are like "Oh Brooke, you're retarded, you JUST noticed this?" But I didn't think I cared until now. And now I really care. And I know it. And I've come to notice I purposely isolate myself. I have been given the label "normal" in my family. Which is one of the most difficult things to cope with, because I know I'm just as fucked up as the rest of my family and having to hide it from them is just so exhausting. I went to sleep at 8:30 last night.