I’ve never been very good with words. I have trouble writing about how I feel and what I’m thinking. Talking about it is even harder for me. I’ve always been closed off. There’s only been one person that I ever let in, and she deserted me when I needed her the most. I keep friends at a distance because I’m afraid that I’ll need them and they won’t be there. It’s worked well for me, until you came along. You made me realize how unreal I was. I was just going through the motions, numb to the world. I was worried at first, that I wouldn’t be able to trust you. That you would feel closed off from me. I was surprised that I not only let you in, but I gave myself completely to you. With you, it’s so easy to be myself. I never feel as if I have to guard myself around you. It’s like I’m free. Free from judgment and disappointment. I’ve willingly given you the power to control my emotions. Because in my eyes, only your opinion matters to me. I only care what you think, no one else matters. You hold all of me, and you carry it with you wherever you go. I’m not okay right now. Because not only did you leave, but you took everything that I am with you. It’s as if I’m back to square one, just going through the motions. Numb to everything but the pain. The pain is the only thing that I can focus on. It makes me feel like at least a little bit alive. I know you can tell that there’s something wrong with me. I’m hurting, but it’s starting to feel normal now. I’ve lost hope, I need you to help me find it again. I need you to help me in general. I’ve just been so angry lately, at everyone. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I’m so in love with you, and it’s so hard to be away from you. We’re meant to be together, because apart we’re broken. I want to be whole again. I don’t want to hurt anymore, I just want to end the pain.