I need help. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. She has no idea the loneliness I’ve been feeling lately. She yells at me for something that I myself hadn’t figured out until it was too late; complaining yet again about me not cleaning up after myself. When in all reality, I clean up after not only myself, everyone else as well. I rarely get credit where credit is due, and that should be the issue. I wish I knew what is going on in her head when she does this to me. Does she enjoy it? Yes, I realize that my cat relieved himself on the dining room floor. But by the time I figured it out, it was too late. Sue me. This is not my fault. Yes, it was a mistake, but does she honestly expect me to know the future? I don’t know when this shit’s going to happen. And I swear to god, if she goes to Nick’s tonight, that’ll be the end. “Oh, I was in a good mood until I can home to find that my house smells like cat piss!!” I think I’m going to have to give my kitten away. I hope that makes her happy. Finally. I swear. If that doesn’t work, I’ll probably move in with someone else. *sigh* Ms. Never Happy. Well not with me, at least. Now if she’s with Nick, it’s a whole other story. Ugh I hate that! Whenever she gets a new boyfriend, he is her GOD. He can do no wrong. He’s always funny, romantic, smart, and FOREIGN. Jesus! Carl was the only real American boyfriend she’s had since my father. Maybe that’s what’s wrong. You know, when you’re a little kid, your teachers always tell you to talk to an adult if you have a problem. And now that I think about it, I have virtually no one. I can’t talk to a guidance counselor because they can never keep anything confidential, I can’t talk to my own mother of coarse because my problems always have to deal with her anyway and she always finds someway to turn the tables on me to make me think I’m the scum of the earth. I can’t talk to Nana because she will tell everyone. I can’t talk to Daddy because he doesn’t even know me. And that’s almost… sad. So in conclusion, the only people I could talk to right now are Cera, Byron, and possibly Chewy. The only reason I say possibly about her is because I don’t know if her and mom are conversing amongst each other about what I say. Call me paranoid, but it could happen. But anyway, where could I move to? I might just have to go to Nana’s. Then I could try to convince Timmy not to tell Nana everything I say. But then how would I get to school everyday? Maybe Mrs. Matthews still runs by there. I’ll have to check that out. I think I actually have something worked out here. And you know if Chewy moves out, what the fuck would she do then? No more late-night visits. No more not getting home until 2:30 am after drinking vodka at Nick’s. No more fun. Period. And wouldn’t you know it; she’s upstairs right now laughing and carrying on with Nick on the phone. Now I’ll be willing to bet if I went upstairs and sat beside her, she’d either move somewhere else, or she’d look at me like I’m a nauseating fungus. *sigh* Let me stop.