And once again blown to bits by your own mind when you take a step back to look at whats happening, you usualy see yourself as a nucense. Total trial and error. A fortune lost over something so pure its dirty. You cant even say what went wrong because your ashamed. The random thoughts of the good times shift into the worst in you life all over a few words. Smile, Dont let them see yourself. It will cause issues you dont want. The future haunts me. The one time you actually want more from somthing that really doesnt appeal to you, and you get a breath of fresh flames in your face. All you can say is nevermind. All the lies fit better than the truth anyway. My own mind seems pathetic to me. My usual upbeat self has once again riddled its self full of holes. Why can you answer every question and situation but your own. And why is it, when you do, do you hate your own advice? I suppose what you really want to hear is that everything is just fine, that it was just a joke and everything can go back to the way It was. Gee, that sounds terrific. Well liz smile and nod. Pretend all is good. No need for advice because regrets are for them. Figure it this way, youll have all that you need soon, you wont need anyone at all. Fuck personality, art, fun, Fuck them all you have yourself to tend too. Now that you have one less to give a shit about you can get somthing of your own. You don't have to be nice, you dont have to act like you care anymore you dont even have to smile if you dont want too. But you know you will. you make him sick, and once again you swallow your ignorance. I should have known better. Good fucking job.