And yet you have no clue to what goes on in my head the thoughts and images not even the filth And when will you know not ever I refuse to let my bricks fall not even for you What a shame I barely let myself in on my thoughts I sit and block out every thing just once would be nice I tend to think about what might happen If I let my head take over just for a minute what could happen Would I scream? or slaughter? I dont know much but i know It is all anger With that I wonder I want to mutilate Not me You 19 years of pure unfiltered rage how much longer will I hold back? My thoughts are littered with a war of hate Not even music can save me this time I fear that one day i will kill sometimes i wonder if I already have Shouldnt I already be dead? If Im not, I wish i was IM SICK OF ME IM SICK OF NOT GETTING ANYWHERE NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY IM SICK OF TRYING TOO HARD IM SICK OF THE HATE THE ANGER why why do i even bother. I know i cant have it I know youll never want me. I know your lying. I know what you think of me. And I know you reasent me. I know It all. I just like the taste of my own lies. I wish just once i could be held by someone that was really there. This fictisious world my mind has made for myself Is getting to be to much for my sanity to grasp. I cant even cry, I cant beileve i trained myself to hold back everything I want. The thoughts and the contemplations are rising once again. I cant help what i want. And I dont think you understand that. Maybe I should relieve you of my demonic bond. filter back into the cracks of your memories. I just wish It was that easy for me. I know you would love to forget. So I suppose I give up. 'm glad you enjoyed me.I will slither back into my hole.