man o man im in pAin ... i went to carousle park yesterday;;w/ my cousin matt and his friend bink...and we went on the go carts like a zillion times...lol we got into soo many accidents...cause im a craZzZy driverr ;]... and i love it... wow my parents are in this gAY argument... its soo fuCking gay... i dont get why they are such fag munchers... tHey are not even talking... wow they act like 4 year olds... im more mature then them ... lol ... this is the kiNda stuff that makes me cut myself...i wIsh i had someone to talk to about it... but iF my rents ever found out they would kill me...and they wOuld just fight even more... which isnt good...i dont kno how muCh more i can handle... i just wiSh i could be the perfect little girl that they alWays wanted...but that would be mE now would it?...but i feeL so bad cause most of the fights thEy have are about me and how im not pERfect... lIke the other day they got into a big fiGht cause they found out what i hAve been doing w/ the guys down the road...and the rlly gaY thing about is... they dOnt punish me for ne of it...they liKe punish themselves...which is fuckEd up... i mean im the screWed up one just ground me!!! and they are always telling me about how im just like my sister BJ... and how im neVer gunna make it anywhere in life... and im gunna get pregnant at 15..and how tHey are gunna have to kick me outta the houSe and how im not gunna have ne one.... but wiTh them tellimg me im like my sister im gunna just get more like her... nOw yuu see why i cUt ... it makes me feel better... and yuu see why i dRink and sMoke...and why i do the stuff i do w/ boys... and why i let everyone just walk all over me... i just feel soo worthless... all the tiMe... and i feel like no one wants me... i think it would all be better if i just had someone i could talk to ... i mean i did have staCey but shes not here ne more... and that just makes me do more self dictrUction ... i think i better go... i nEed to get out of this hOuse...