but it's not fair. i dont i deserve this. i'm terrible. i'm negative. i'm fucking selfish. look at me and want me dammit. look at me and need me fucker. give me your heart. give me your soul. only because i want you. give me everything i want because i deserve it all. i deserve all of you. i deserve all your brilliance. i should be the only one to bask in it because no one else deserves you. no one else deserves anything. let her rot. let her perish. let her hurt because i could never deserve this. only her. only her. i'm so fucking backwards. this is my opposite. chris....i dont get who i want. make this stop hurting.... -Amanda