well as hard as this hurts josh broke up with me. grr. he makes me mad. he thinks i like nick. with nick all it is, is friendship and he even knows that. nick is awesome but just a friend. i just cant stand the bullshit anymore. he called me a whore and a cunt. now what bullshit is that? real bullshit. it freaking pisses me off. and like i still like him and all but i dont know why. all he is, is a dick to me. i dont know i always go for the wierd ones. whatever. i'll get over it. hopefully maybe he will realize the loss but i dont know what i'm going to do. like this is the first time somebody broke up with me and it made me feel like shit. i feel like a freakin idiot. i dont know. first it was just faith & josh. (just friends) then it was more faith & josh. but now it's nothing. not even friends. i even want to me friends with the kid. god damn. what did i lose? i lost him for a stupid reason but i'm glad he was honest. it's bull shit that he calls me names and i asked him not to in the beginning and all he did waslie. i dont know how i will get over it but i guess that's why i have my frieds. so i hope things will be all right. josh-i still like you alot. but i dont know why. i guess you're a hard person to get over. well you still have my heart but it's ripped in two. now i know how other people feel when somebody doesnt care and thety just break up with the person without thinking about their feelings. well i'm sorry to those people that i did that to and i hope you will forgive me.