have you ever wished someone could hear everything you say about them, and know everything you are thinking, and what they are putting you through? you just wish they could feel the pain they put you through? and see the tears you cry cause of them the second they walk away? i think that if he could hear and know everything he would probably feel like a total ass....cause wow, i have never been this hurt before. i have never been through something sooo harsh or been so hurt. kinda sad looking back to when we were like bestfriends, and i'd tell him everything and everything seemed perfect and what not, and all i ever thought was "he would never hurt me...he's perfect" but look where i am now, and i want to thank it all to you. when i was with you, i never thought it would end this way, i thought everything was perfect cause that's what you played it out to me (perfect). i thought everything was finally starting to go the way i wanted it to go, you acted like you cared so much....how could you do that to someone who cares about you so much? why did you even get involved with me if you knew you didn't want me the way i wanted you? i trusted you and let myself get involved with you again, even though you have hurt me already, i beleived you changed, for i don't know why cause my friends told me you'd just do it all over again, cause you knew i'd come back, so you used that agaisnt me and played me like i could mean nothing to you at all....and i guess that's what i do mean to you, and you have no idea how much that hurts knowing how much you ment/mean to me, but w/e... and yet when i ask you about things, and try to talk to you about everything, you can't even talk to me about it? you just leave me hanging not knowing what you want...i seriously you can't even say it has to do with age, and that i'm just "to young" cause right now, you're the one acting immature. i just wish you didn't make everything so confusing, all i gotta say is guys need to figure out what the hell they want before pulling girls into it, cuz we really don't need the bullshit..and i won't blame everything on you, maybe i did do something but i guess i'll never know cause you can't even talk to me about this....but thanks for making the end of my summer the worst, i thought i knew you, but i guess i was wrong. lauren