Second beer tonight that I've counted so far. I'd drink too if I lived with me. How are you supposed to kick four addictions at once? Not the easiest shit to do. The porn is just the icing on the cake. He may not physically cheat anymore, but he sure does lust and engage with other women all the time behind my back. It wasn't just a few months, it was years.
Maybe you've also been physically cheating this whole time too. I remember smelling perfume when he was at our old apartment and he said he didn't start cheating until we moved into the new place.
I'm totally sick and fucking furious every moment of every day. I can't eat because I'm afraid of throwing up or maybe I just have no appetite. Every time I cry, I'm amazed I have more tears to cry, they never end. How can I continue.
He wants me to break up with him but he cannot do it. He is only continuing for my daughter's sake and because he feels guilty. He doesn't really love me, he only thinks he owes me this. Well, I don't want his pity or be a fucking side piece. I just wanted authentic love for christ sake.
He will learn to cover his tracks better. Things will go back to status quo and I'll be all alone again, living a life for someone else. I'll go back to being a flesh light every once in awhile. The only difference, is that I know now.