Hey! it is 203 in the morning. I am sleepy but have so much on my mind. I feel bad today. I didnt do anything but clean and tehn around 7 i went to brians because his sister took us to see charlie and the chocolate factory. IT was a good movie by the way. but i snapped at brian so mnay times today. i was just overly stressed for some reason today. i feel so bad. i mean he says everythign is okay but its not with me. not at all.ive lost him twice before and the fear of losing him grows every day. it shouldnt be like that at all.. at least i thin ktaht. I love him. I really do but im so scared. I cant losehim again. HE is my world. The thought of not having him sucks, I mean he doesnt know how much he means to me and how special he is to me. all my friends dont think i should be with him but i dont care what they think ..he makes me happy and if my friends dont see that and arent happy that im happy then oh well. sorry but im happy with brian. sure i wish some little details were different about our relaitonship but what me and him have is amazing and great and i love him so much and i hate when im mean to him. he should stay away from me when im crabby. grr anyhoo. i have church in the morning and im so excited because the sermon is about love and its about my favorite passage in the bible. i love it. 1 corinthians 13:4-8 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails I LOVE IT! its so true. so yeah im excited. right now im so comfy. im wearing my orange pants and boxers and warm socks and a long sleeve shirt and a jacket..im cold..but comfy.. well im off now later