the highschool is an amazing place. dominic seems to seep from the walls. seriously. his presence is all over the place there. i can't begin to count the number of times i've turned a corner and smelled him. or smelled something that reminded me of him. or felt something in the air that completely took me back. you have no idea how many memories are attached to him and that school. that'll be hard next year. he inhabits the place. he's all over. like today. we had to wear gloves for the hand bells. marching band gloves. and one of mine smelled like him. exactly like him. for then next 4 years, i will walk by certain places and rememebr him kissing me and hugging me adn just being with me. like he never will again. i feel like something's missing. i never feel completely anymore. there's always something missing. i gave a lot to him. i suffered a lot to stay with him. lying to my parents hurt. it hurt a lot. because they trusted me, and i betrayed them. and i hated it. but i loved him so it did it. it feels like everything i did was in vain. because we never got anything out of it. the plan was "hold on for another couple years and then all this shit'll be worth it." well we didn't hold on. so all the shit was for nothing. i'm glad he's going to marywood though. i don't want to completely give him up. he means so much to me.