I'm not sure what's going on.

I've been ready for bed since I woke up. I'd like a hot shower. I'd like to have my own apartment where I don't have to talk to anyone or pretend to be awake and happy. I just want to sit on a couch with some tea and a blanket after having a bath and feel free to sleep and watch TV and have a small dog that wears sweaters and forget all these college applications and forget all this homework and forget that my dad keeps asking what's wrong with me, bless his heart. I love my dad, I really do. I just don't want to talk.

I don't know if this thing will make me feel better. It's just a reminder that I can't tell you how I feel. Maybe. I don't know. "You" as in, you. And "you" as in, world. I hope if anyone ever sees this they have a hard time understanding.

P.S.,

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist was a good movie.

"I don't want to compete. I know I'm not pretty like that."

Sincerely,

Me.