I feel like maybe I'm rushing things. How do I know if I love Tristan? I don't know. It's so soon. I should just slow myself down mentally. I know I haven't told him I love him yet but I'm still going too fast in my head. Everything in this relationship has gone too fast and this is one thing I can make sure doesn't go too fast. We had sex after only knowing each other for a few weeks, he was sleeping in my bed before the month was over and we've already broken up twice when I was drunk and scared of how fast things had gone. I went to school with the intent of not even having a relationship and look what happened. I really do care about him, and if he really cares about me too then we'll have plenty of time to get closer as time goes on. I don't need to push things to go faster with us. We went to see Hostel last night. I'm never going to Slovakia, or wherever it was, in my entire life, lol. I am now afraid of foreign countries. I don't recommend anyone go see that movie. It was basically a porn with torture mixed in. Any sick person's dream movie. Tristan and I haven't had sex in probably about 2 months. That's probably not good for him but I'm kind of happy about it. I didn't want to have sex so soon and I guess this is a way of making up for it. I stopped taking the birth control and told him I didn't want to have sex for a while. He was obviously a little disappointed, but okay with it. He was really respectful. Lately though, I'm thinking I'm ready again...