Okay so I picked up the shirt I wore that night and I haven't had a chance to wash it yet... and I was going to wear it again since it's not too stretched out yet and I smelled it to make sure it wasn't stinky or anything and it smelled super strongly of pot. This should have repulsed me, brought back memories, whatever, but instead I thought it smelled really good and it made me want to smoke again. Does this make any sense? The one time I get stoned I get raped and now I want to smoke again? I make no sense. Before I thought that I would never want anything to do with alcohol or pot again and now here I am, craving it. I think it's because I just want to forget. I just want to numb myself... and what better way. I used to think the smell of pot was disgusting but not anymore... now I want it. I'm so fucked up...