Haha I feel deprived. That's horribly selfish of me, but I do.

WHy? I chose to live this life and now I have to suffer the consequences. I can't take one more night. One more fake smile, one more load of laundry, or one more punch to my face. Is this what my life was supposed to become? I don't feel like it is but no one is going to save me. THis is a battle I need to pull out of. My heart hurts right now. Literallly/ Perhaps it's this coconut rum. ?

took a quick breather. Think it's the way I'm positioned on my chair. I'm sure the alcohol doesn't help.

Fuck I feel like blowing my brains out.