Surrounded by mirrorrs that hold all these faces I can only find one that will take me with it... Broken and falling to pieces shattered and scattered across the floor.... I gaze intently, deeply till I see what all I was looking for.... Drained from the beginning of the week to the end, a lovely vision of nothing.... Long hair of red/brown,hazel eyes that change in anger, gleaming red from tears washed over.... Hurt by those who dont understand, yet she cant understand herself... Confused, awkward and tired of this old worn down place, old mind trapped within a young soul... Stubburn and unwilling to let go of her life she cowers in silence from the shadows of the unknown... The harsh reality is that this horrid deformed face in the mirror is my own....

Your whispers haunt me, I cant seem to find my way..... I fall without you, breathing, silently screaming for you to hear me.... You dont know me though you try to control me... All I want is for you to go away, to understand im not going to be waiting.... I want you to know all you do, feel all the hate, every pain you put me through.... Everyday trying to hide, what I want now is just to feel alive... Pressured to trust, made to love, and now all I feel is anger... Cant you hear me screaming or are you numb to that too.... It doesnt matter because this time when I fall, I won't be thinking of you......

Small cries fall on deaf ears and blind eyes... I yearn for you, I call for you, all I want is to say I Love you... So please forgive me for not telling you how I feel.... I'd forgive you if only I could forget all I went through for you.... Your lies decieved me, your eyes couldnt see, all I wanted was for you to be there..... So help me choose should I win you or lose everything a daughter ever wanted.... I'd fight if only I knew you'd be there when I got to the other side..... So lie to me now and tell me you'll Love me forever..... And if I die I'll go happy knowing a daddy loved his daughter......

Your useless a thing i should have never let in... your lies overcome you and thats why you are lost inside yourself.. your so trapped in your world.. and im not going to be there to save you.. I refuse to be sucked in!.. Im done!... didnt you know your nothing to me! not anymore!.... not with your lies speaking to me through a useless soul.. I guess now you hear me dont you!.. I hope it feels like the knife you slide against your skin... now whos cold steel feels friendly... Im not your lover, your savior, or even your friend.... this isnt a nightmare a dream you can escape from... so write about this!

Its ironic how you notice me now that I cant seem to see you anymore... .. You hear my joy and I hope it echos through your head as your pain once stuck into mine.. .. But you really need to know that your lost to me, a cause that i once lived for, but now,dying to forget.. .. Its ironic isnt it.. .. that your trying so hard to hold on...

I see you in your world of hollow.. Though you have what seems everything you need.. I wonder are you content with that life? Do you think of me like my mind seems to wander upon you? Do you look my way? For once i wish you would tell me how you feel... But knowing you never will..... I realize i've moved on... I wonder if its valid to ask you my questions...

whats the reason you hold on when you know im not breathing why cant you find another to help you win your fight your battle with yourself is over so let me go now I can find another lifetime a reason to be me im letting you go now just as you did to me the difference between us is not how we used to be its my reason im letting you believe i never cared its a difference that only you now have to believe the past ruins the hope for the future a future your not allowed in i hope you understand ill take my knife deeper before i ever let you in you better leave before i take my pain and stab it deeper into you and you could never handle the shit you put me through so step away jump into the cold and maybe you'll get it when im gone my heart my love my hope for you is through so take everything i ever said and throw it away its useless to a soul that never had a heart to begin with

Hide yourself again... sheild yourself from all that may knock you off balance... let again you be consumed into yourself.. for now you notice all that went unnoticed.. and it comes with a price...

Trapped in this cold desolate room.... full of empty promises and surrounded by bloodstained walls lies my thoughts..... my pictures of you that I know eventually I must take down... my hopes and dreams written upon these walls are starting to fade.... as does the determined girl that had written them.... the cold sharp steel feels all too friendly... and the marks left behind are still to visable.. but in all this im too dead to care..to lost to cry...and to consumed to try and figure out why....

I want to show him... I want him to see himself through my eyes... his lies hide himself from the world.. from all those who surround him.. but not me... i can see through him... his eyes are the only thing that cant lie... thats why he cant look at me anymore.. i saw him... he looked at me and smiled.. but once again he's changed.. he looks like him... but his eyes are different... he's lost in himself again... i wonder if he's noticed?.... i wonder if he knows i can see.. he used to come to me to help him... because i could see what others couldnt... i looked at him as if i didnt recognize him anymore... i guess because a part of me doesnt.. i wonder if he see's it...

everyone has left you now... how do you feel?... do those thoughts race through your mind of what could have been?... do you think of him?.... make him leave...you know you must... if things keep going on liek they are... you'll lose... you'll lose the battle you have been fighting since last time... whats your fear?.. think of your fear... what is it?... I fear to live.... I fear to love... but I fear not to die... death comes easy... but to survive...to pull away from the dark... thats hard.. I fear him being what i never want to see again.. I fear him playing with me liek the toy the other thought i was.... but i will not speak his name.... how does he survive and i do not?... how can he live with himself knowing the self inflictions others put on themselves because of him.... how can he laugh..and live...and love... but the one he knew of me is dead.... maybe though...maybe that was the better of me.... I love to live.. yet i live to die... why is that saying so true... I fear .. i might die before i actually ever learn to live...

She sits alone with her thoughs of broken lies and endless hurt... it always comes back... the dark always comes back... but why.... thats the question that never seems to find an answer thats good enough... it always looks for something better.. someone happier to destroy... but today it sits with me.. it always finds me... it settles beneath the skin and surrounds your heart trying to weaken you and build its own strength.... you fight it.. but the more you fight.. the more you feel your losing yourself... your body will give out one day... you'll be gone all together.. and you can feel it... then your heart beats faster.. your back and its only because he's around... the light surrounds you and the dark fades.. for now.. you let the light dance through your soul, lighting the places you never thought it could reach... the deepest space of dark.. out of knowwhere it suddenly ends.. the light fades away and the dark overwhelms you.. darker than before.... maybe its because you let the light in... you allowed yourself to feel.... now your eyes are glazed and your lost in the crowds of people... looking as though your lost in yourself... in a dream.. a nightmare.. it drags on endlessly discouraging your escape...

Try to forget the pain of the past, for it only holds you back, he's the dream of something you were unsure of you've tried to hold on to it and now you know you must let go. He held you back, he never let go, he kept you close, sure that he'd be able to take from your heart whenever he needed reassurence. He only left memories scars that will never go away. The pain you felt and thought was him, was you, you looked into his eyes realizing that it was you your own reflection put in the eyes of another, you knew not happiness although it felt so real. Reality scared you so you couldnt let go, you were afraid to feel anything for anyone else and blamed him. Dont hide, nows not the time to run. Face your past alone and forget the pain.

Hey. Just seeing if this works :o) ♥ Brey