So The doctor says therapy and anti-depressants. yipee. so today is the second day ive taken them, only 2 more weeks before it does anything. ugh. I couldn't sleep last night. I just laid awake thinking about Matt Brannen. I need to not do that. I guess lauren asked him what was up and he doesn't want to get too attached because we are going back to school in August. As if i never thought about that but seriously.. I dont think he needed to stop talking to me completely. I havent seen him in a while, or talked to him. like 5 days? It just makes me sad. I think i will get over him if i dont see him.. like this, but i dont want that to happen. I like when he is at Laurens and is around, even if we are just friends, but i will never get over it that way. He was perfect. I pretty much didnt go to florida because of him. well thats a lie, but he definitely had a part in it. I guess the way I see it is that I can go back to school sad because i just had the most amazing summer with him, or I can go back to school sad because of what could have been. I choose option 1. I just wish he had said something about it instead of just not talking to me. I'm not looking for a hook-up. I want him. just someone amazing and smart to be around and hold my hand. He is exactly what I had hoped for when i came home, and i guess its too good to be true that i found him so soon. I hope its not over. I know hes going to a concert tonight in VT, but i may text him this afternoon anyways. I did talk to ricky now. He understands how this would absolutely never work, why im crazy, and why i need him as a friend more than anything. basically Matt and i were the taylor swift song "Mine" but then it turned into "The story of us" which is incredibly upsetting if you have ever heard the two. Shane is crazy, we got into a funny fight the other night because I responded to something with "ohh". He is a d-bag. I called him an ignorant piece of shit and said im sorry that you are so intellectually closed. bahaha. I hate him. well I suppose I should start the day. My room is clean so I think im going to clean the downstairs. bleh.