My Hair Competion in which i won 1st place BTW: im not coming back to this shit. check out myspace tho; Scariel Mermaid.

soo....yah. i have pictures to post, but theyre at home whilst im at school. so heres an update and some pictures from my photobucket- deal. who's that?? ^ happy now? ill post again in another 3 months or so.

Theres a new picture up thar ^. the green one is the most recent. last month recent. wOw! the others are old ones that fit. happy are you now?

yuh, im at school. school blows. public school anyway, but thats the only school i know. my cosmetology teacher went to Ampsterdam yesterday with like 7 or 8 kids from class- bitches. i have to go to Indiana for my spring break. WOO! itll be a BLAST! not really, but itll be nice to get out of Austin and Texas all together. but ill have to leave my sexy baby at home :'( im gonna miss him. i wouldnt be able to The Birthday Massacre here anyway, theyre playing at Ellysium- a 21+ club. but i would have been able to go down to Houston to see them. that is, if i didnt have to go to Indiana. probably gonna have to go to Ohio soon as well. fuckin Ohio. Kira, if you didnt know, Jane's husband (i forget his name, JIM! thats it) anyway he has lung cancer. its in both lungs, throat and is inopperable because the mass is putting pressure on his heart. so hes probably gonna die in about 3 years if the kemo dosent work. thats why were gonna have to go up to Ohio, more than likely during the summer. so im sitting in the "theory room" (thats what the Ferrier calls our class room- we have a "salon"/lab, dispensery/laundry-supply room, and the actual class room.) bullshitting on this bitch. got nothing to do , well, except late work and i really dont want to do that. Andrew isnt coming to school today, he says he has no clean clothes at home so hes staying home to do laundry. why cant he just wear dirty clothes? hell, i do it all the time. maybe thats why he always smells so good and i...dont. Damn he is SOO sexy! i almost creeam my panties almost everytime i think about how sexy he is. just want throw him down on the ground and ravage his body. rip his clothes off, tear at his baby-soft skin...sorry i havnt been laid in almost a week. well, since Saturday, not really a week. my left leg is starting to fall asleep. i have to pee...i think, maybe im just bored. aug! my sub is some arab guy, hes annoying. wont let us do anything, im only on here because i told him i already did all my questions at home. ooo..my sexy be coming to see me for lunch. he really do love me. he soo sweet. hes just about the only thing i think about, well the one thing i think about the majority of the time. school computers suck, they have like chat sites, game sites and shit like that blocked. so i cant look at my myspace, cant play destruct-o-match. but i can watch videos on youtube, damn that site has some funny ass vids. i was thinking of uploading this video i have of Andrew smashing a guitar over his sister's ex-boyfriend's head in the back yard. its an old acoustic that was getting rebuilt for 2 years, not an electic, but its still awesome. anywhore, i think im gonna wrap this up. i got a DP to drink and videos to watch, bitches. i do have to pee, huh. edit: i need to get some more updated pictures of me. the first one at the top, thats 3 years old.

Valentine's Day was awesome. You don't even want to know. WOOO! The Birthday Massacre is going to be here for south-by-southwest in march! unfortunitly i may be indiana.

YE-YUH! i totally knew who would go to the bowl after the colts lost. which i still cant believe happened. but since then ive been sayin, itll be the seahawks vs. the steelers, and low and behold: Seahawks vs. Steelers. Steelers are going to win. i may even strike up a bet against. no more than $20 tho. ive never bet on football, buts never too soon to start. anyway, my sexy beast of a man is spending the night tonight so i gots ta get some shit done. out niggas!

finally got laid the other night. hadnt since new years. but it wasnt all that great. i was sad. its cool though. hes coming over wednesday and i hope thursday too, hehe. too much info blah blah blah i dont care. thats all. just wanted to update.

so yeah, i live in Austin, Texas. UT's hometown. its going to be insane for the next several hours. many will die or be mammed. you are not even completely under a couple days have past. the parties wont end till Sunday. people in this town are crazy. it was quite a game. i was like "NOO!" "What The Fuck Was That?!?" "YEY-YUH!" ya know- cheering.

FINE- ill update...jesus christ woman, so demanding! heh, just fucking around dude. Well, winter break is coming to a close. 2005 suck, so i can only hope 2006 will be slightly less irritatingly fucked up.

Andrew and I. I took that picture last night. it is now one of my most favourite pictures. its so sweet!

So today we had a snow day. here. in Austin, Texas. TEXAS! t'was colder than a witche's tit in a brass bra. haha, my mom told me that one. anyway, no actual snow but the roads were all icy and shit. they closed all of the over-passes. anyway, all i did was sleep til 1 then go to work from 3:30 to 9 o'clock pm. it was a long day of nothing. our seventh period final was supposed to be tomarrow but since school was cancelled today, were taking it Monday. which rocks cause that gives me more time to finish my reviews and study. finals/mid-terms/whatever- they blow. i think im going to fail several classes this semester. that chaps my ass. anywhore, fuck you guys, im going to sleep.

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again, i am stupid. im an idiot. idiots deserve to die.

I weigh 97 lbs right now. Crazy.

PHOTOGRAPHS!! Zeb + Kira The best picture I have eever seen of Carena, taken by Kira. sorry theyre quite LARGE. im coming down with a sinus infection. it blows. HAHA, get it, blows...like i blow my nose.......... fuck you.

Im better now. had a shitty Halloween tho. oh well. i won second place in this hair competition we had in cosmetology last week. i totaly shoulda gotten first, but whatever. mine was the shit, like always. but, also like always, i get second. i never seem to get the credit i deserve. heh. ill post pictures later. mom took some, i should probably take some of my own cos itll just take forever for them to email me. its pimp as fuck, and the makeup is awesome aswell. Monkeys starting to knock shit off my bed. i guess thats my que for me to get going. -out-

I hate it when im angry and the skin on my back begins to crawl and wont stop. makes me even madder. those fuckin "advice journals" are fuckin retarded. in my opinoin anyway. i also hate those fuckin dumbfucks who comment retarded shit in journal. like anyone really fuckin cares. i am soo fucking pissedOFF!!! AAAAHHHHH!!! its all Andrew's fault. he always pisses me off because he gets in a pissy mood when i do the slightest thing that he doesnt like. he should know me by now. i do things w/o thinking, thats pretty much how i run my life. i do what i feel. and hes such a dick about it. like if i look at him for too long. i love every inch of him, i cant help it if i get stuck staring at him, and then he gets pissed off at me b/c he doesnt like it when i stare. or if i say something he doesnt like or that he thinks sounds stupid. and he says he loves, excuse me "likes" everything about me. thats a load of bullshit. i only have 1 problem w/ him; his moodiness. but i accept it for who he is and i usually get upset by it but he was just-- i feel like shit now. i cant stop crying. how often does that happen anymore? hardly ever, even though i quit taking my meds again, but its showing. im failing all my classes and feel so retarded and worthless and so...constantly uncomfortable. right now i want to tear my skin off. i have such a bad headache. and what sucks even more about today (is a couple of things), is that i had such an awesome night last night. i was so inlove w/ him and then earlier this afternoon i didnt want to take my eyes off him, as well as my hands. but he just kept pushing me away all day today. it really makes you feel like shit when you love someone with almost your entire being and they just keep ignoring, pushing you away from them and looking at you like your just so stupid after every small thing you say; but then keeps on telling you that they love you and keeps on giving you those looks from across they table and shit like that. i just dont know about him anymore. i do love him with every fiber in my body and i would do anything for him, but- just the way he acts and treats me sometimes...i dont know. he doesnt say things flat out, he makes small hints and gestures reguarding what hes thinking. AND I WANT MY BABY BACK! its killing me..

so...this Friday it happens. i think its officially a fetus now. ive gotten a little fat. like when i used to have that little beer belly of mine. but is from eating all the time. i get so hungry so often. im going to get a copy of a picture from the sonogram. 2 actually, one for me and one for Andrew. ill try to remember to scan it and post it for you guys (and by "you guys" i mean Racheal + Kira, of corse, der.) speaking of Andrew, weve kinda been at odds latelt. i dont know if thats the right term for it, but weve been a little...distant i guess. it sucks. when i want to get close to him, hes being a little shit; when he wants to get close to me, i feel like shit. and i constantly feel like shit. i dont think i could ever handle having a child. im gonna go to bed now. oh, and Kira, i only told you i was kidding b/c mom told me not to tell you cos she said you would tell GM so GM wouldnt like me anymore. i dont know why i believed that. i know you wouldnt do anything like that to hurt me. also, i just got your vmail, thanks, and you were right, dad didnt tell me you called. my phone got taken up about...oh..7-8 weeks ago, i just got it back this weekend. stupid fucking AISD and their stupid fucking rules against cell phones. dicks. anyway, i love you two. KEEP IT REAL NIGGAS! ED!T: photographs for zea werld my sexy man with his huge joint, hehe now he has my thong on his head deedeedee! me in the van on the way to Indiana. sexy i know.. me suckin on my mans huge joint, thats so dirty.. Carena and little Edward Fey Wong Pepe Le Bruski IV now its time for my sky photographs. i LOVE taking pictures of clouds: thats across the Westgate Cinema next to the new Buffet Palace. me and Carena had just gone to see Charlie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. and look! and rainbow between two bums! and look at that one bum's boil under his ear, eeeeewwwwwwww! now its time for art: an Ixi, a Neopet i painted that at GM's house like over 3 years ago. its so pimp. my little alien dude. i draw a bunch of crap like him. mmm...creepy alien masturbation. those last arnt what i call "art", but theyre close. thats me btw. turned the yellowish one into a small blog for my shop on Neopets.com. its pimp. thats all, hope you enjoyed.

damn... it's positive.