what are you

Feeling: subdued
I hate this town. I cant wait to leave, i hope i never fucking come back. I hate it. I hate it. Im so fucking empty, nobody fucking gets it..i have friends and family but theres still something missing. God i hope nobody reads this shit but i have to get it out..so here it goes maybe this is why i drink and smoke and do all that crazy ass shit, it makes me feel full and happy and i like doing it, but maybe i do it sometimes for the wrong reason. I dont know anymore, i just really have no idea. I had to coach cheerleading camp today really early..maybe im just tired. I just want somebody to cry to, that wont look at me any diffrent no matter what i say and they will just nod there head and understand but there opinion will never change of me. I also have huge bruises and cuts on my back and no idea how i got them?. and i know its long but: Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.Get plenty of calcium Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.Travel.Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians wil philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.Respect your elders.Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.But trust me on the sunscreen…
Read 4 comments
hmm danika.. do u go to JC? do you have a cousin at M-e with the last name butcher or something?
[Anonymous]
haa no, i know you because my friend kelsey "dated" one of your cousins or something (john) in like middle school and i remember you for some reason
[Anonymous]
yeah them... who is john keiffer or something then haha
[Anonymous]
that song makes me have the goosebumps everytime i read it. ill have the shittiest day and feel like going and smoking a shitload of speed and this song comes on and i cry thinking of how stupid i really am for believing i am nothing and how short life was over..and when im 50 ill want to be this age again.